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RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 9/29/2006 11:04:05 AM

Kaledorus

Posts: 95
Joined: 9/4/2006
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I do not feel you were being deceptive, I do think it would have helped, on the earlier thread, if you had mentioned it was not a live-in situation. Other than that it was, as you said, an attempt to elicit insights into such a situation.

If you are not living with him it is a different scenario. Would you please expand upon exactly what exchange of power there is, if any. How much control of your life is actually being exercised here by this fellow?

It is all about exchange of power and I might suggest that an examination of that central issue is in order.

A man who cannot control himself can scarcely hope to control another human being.

(in reply to pqwinny)

Post #: 21

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 9/29/2006 11:32:30 AM

Iskander

Posts: 264
Joined: 9/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
Its also very possible and quite common to ask for general advice without applying the question to a specific situation.

Granted... But reading the very first paragraph of this thread indicates otherwise...

Iskander..

(in reply to marieToo)

Post #: 22

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 9/29/2006 12:00:03 PM

Iskander

Posts: 264
Joined: 9/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pqwinny

There were no lies of comission or omission on my part. The first post was for a specifice purpose. Sir felt i was out of line in my reaction and His suggestion was to 'go on Collar Me and see if you find one person who would disagree' so i did.

He has never posted here and has only in the past few weeks even begun to visit here. i intentionally left out the details to match the blindness that He has relevant to the event. He is still adament that i was not in danger and He did nothing wrong and is fact asking me for 'submissive contrition'. i felt it would have been predjudicial to include the details intially in seeking a response to His querry.

If anyone felt tricked or mislead because of that, it was not my intent. And for the record, i don't believe white lies are okay but also recongize that just like everything else in life, truth is fluid and always changing. Things that were true for me now may not have been last year or 10 years ago and vice versa. Even my politics have changed as i've aged!

Amasing what communication can do...

Thank you for that clarification, I apologise for not seeing the alterior reasons to the way you posed the question...
Still I think you can see why the original thread was useless in it's intent.. Though in it's own right a very valuable debate...
As it stands now, it's not much of a debate, it's pretty clearcut that your reaction is perfectly valid.. Not only valid, it's human, regardless of being D or s... When put in danger a human will fight or flee... fleeing wasn't allowed or possible so you 'fought' with the limited resources available to you..

A question for your Sir, would He allow a dentist under the influence of a mind altering drug perform dental work on Him?

Iskander...

(in reply to pqwinny)

Post #: 23

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 9/29/2006 3:52:44 PM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I fail to see where your judgments of hypocrisy come from, and wonder if you understand the meaning of the word or if it was the first insult you thought of to hurl at someone who was asking you a question.

My judgment of hypocrisy simply stems from this: she sat in the car and freaked out that her Dominant was putting her life in danger. Yet, by staying, she put her life in further danger. How can she be angry at her Dominant putting her life at risk when she won't take steps to keep herself out of harms way. Hypocrisy.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 24

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 9/29/2006 3:54:46 PM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
Not long, but it is not like someone risked your life yesterday by taking valium and driving your ass around and risking your life. I do not understand your response, because I bet is someone did that to you that might just cause you to become adrenalized enough to get pissy about it... I would be more than a little upset.

Oh, and btw, I've had people put my life at risk as well as put myself in harms way. In all situations freaking out would've done nothing to better the situations and most likely would've made them worse.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 25

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 9/29/2006 3:59:22 PM

OhReallyNow

Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

Just a general reply, not directed at anyone in particular

this slave stands by her original statement made in the first post

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 26

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 9/29/2006 6:47:05 PM

Voltare

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

Well, this is an ugly mess. I'll first echo what marieToo said - this isn't strictly a Ds issue. There are Ds aspects, so will get to that.

I'm going against the bandwagon here - there's obviously an element of safety that needs to be considered here. Anyone who's ever had a dear friend who liked to drink too much also knows that the exact wrong time to lecture is when they're drunk. I completely understand your reaction and concern for your safety, but you know approaching your Dom when he's at his worst isn't going to fix anything.

So, lets break it down. You seem to enjoy your relationship with this man, otherwise you wouldn't be asking what we think - you'd be telling us how miserable you are. That means there's some room for compromise and adjustment on both of your parts. That's great, because you're both going to have to give a little.

Your Dom is a lousy driver. It's not a big deal, my slave's mother drives like a maniac on crack at the bumper car track. I won't get in the car with her. The easy solution here is to let you drive (assuming you can and are capable.) There's even a fetish related to this, called 'chauffeuring' - but either way you cut it, there's nothing unsubmissive about driving, and nothing undomly about being a passenger. It'll set your nerves where they belong, and leave him free to do more pleasant things, like read the newspaper, eat lunch, or nap.

Second, no matter how valid your opinion is, there is a time, place, and manner to express it. Being strong willed and passionate are excellent qualities for a submissive. They also come with an inherently long learning curve. If you don't feel that you should be disciplined for the issues you're mentioning here, than odds are you need to renegotiate your relationship with your Dom. This isn't to say I don't feel any sympathy - believe me I do. I also feel sympathetic for my slave when I tell her to go clean the bathroom, but that doesn't make the bathroom need a cleaning any less. When you and your Dom are at your best, you both have the capacity to fulfill the other - your enthusiasm move him in ways he normally wouldn't, and his natural calm can ground and focus you. At your worst, you two will tear each other apart.

As this applies to the specific situation, rather than becoming angry and combative, you might try the 'honey' route - offer to drive for him, be sympathetic, and genuinely try to make the situation better for you both. Pouring vinegar over the wounds aren't likely to make the situation tolerable for either of you.

Honestly, I hope this helps.

Stephan

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to OhReallyNow)

Post #: 27

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 9/30/2006 12:41:37 AM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

The one thing that i don't change my mind on is my safety. Sir would be very unhappy if i felt He was somehow impaired and did not address it with Him. He would be more upset that i didn't say anything than if i did. But then He is very much safety conscious. I would choose no less of a Dom to be my Dom and future Master.

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to pqwinny)

Post #: 28

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 9/30/2006 3:23:14 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

It seems to me the two of you both seem less to seek the ideas and advice of others, as you originally stipulated, than to garner attention and bizarre drama from posting your interactions and emails (and ordering them to be posted) on a public forum.

I do find it ironic that after he ordered you to post the first one , and then this one, he chastises those who responded to those postings with less than favorable words for his choices.

Drama drama drama.

(in reply to pqwinny)

Post #: 29

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 10/16/2006 9:01:01 PM

SirStephan55

Posts: 69
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

Under no circumstances may one put the life of another in danger as he did. I agree that if he does not realize the danger of his activity you need to seriously re-evaluate your position

(in reply to pqwinny)

Post #: 30

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 10/16/2006 9:30:08 PM

ChaOz

Posts: 98
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

I dont care about the issue of respect, he could have killed someone. A kid runs out onto the road or a car takes off on the lights and your both in trouble. If you asked him to take driving lessons then thats a grey area, although I think a Dom should be prepared to improve himself as an example to the sub and admit his/her inferiorities. It is a huge red flag that someone as respectful as you would be concerned enough to raise the issue, so dont feel bad about it.. you do need downtime when you can talk openly about things. Nothing wrong with that. You do know your place so its cool. He has the problem here not you and he really should create a way for you to express your opinions without feeling guilty about it Your basically standing up and asking, "how do I talk to my Dom?" Communication is key.

< Message edited by ChaOz -- 10/16/2006 9:32:39 PM >

(in reply to SirStephan55)

Post #: 31

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 10/16/2006 9:38:29 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pqwinny

He has never posted here and has only in the past few weeks even begun to visit here. i intentionally left out the details to match the blindness that He has relevant to the event. He is still adament that i was not in danger and He did nothing wrong and is fact asking me for 'submissive contrition'. i felt it would have been predjudicial to include the details intially in seeking a response to His querry.

Please, spare me. Drunks say this same shit on scene while we're zipping the victims they've killed into a body bag. Being under the influence of a controlled scheduled substance is NO DIFFERENT. That sort of attitude really makes me sick and it screams of blatant ignorance and irresponsibility.

He can't be responsible when getting behind the wheel of a car. Why do you think that he could take responsibility for another human life when he obviously disregards their safety and his own?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to pqwinny)

Post #: 32

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 10/17/2006 1:15:57 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

It takes a man of character to admit when he makes a mistake.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 33

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 10/17/2006 5:49:03 PM

ChaOz

Posts: 98
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

Its also the Doms responsiblity to provide the sub with a safe and secure environment, as he seems to have taken the control aspects beyond the bedroom to 24/7 which I assume you have going, then that responsibility moves out of the bedroom too. You freaked out and had good reason too. Being submissive doesnt mean being mindless.

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 34

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 10/17/2006 6:31:45 PM

Morrigel

Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline

Is there a link for the first thread? I am curious how the same situation could engender such vastly different responses...

--M

(in reply to pqwinny)

Post #: 35

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 10/17/2006 6:36:38 PM

ChaOz

Posts: 98
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

Whttp://www.collarchat.com/m_608169/tm.htm

Thats the original where she claimed to be a loud-mouth sub with disagreements. In this thread theres a difference of opinion IMHO from the fact that he endangered the life of his sub and others by breaking several traffic laws due to his high state. I dont think its wrong for a Dom to say, 'i cant do this, take over for a while', ya know? Once your collared it wouldnt matter to me what your told to do, its still a privelage to perform a given task. I mean, even if he told you to put on a strap on and screw him, after beating him and domming him, the lines are still drawn. Your still the slave and it wouldnt undermine that as its just an order.

< Message edited by ChaOz -- 10/17/2006 6:53:28 PM >

(in reply to Morrigel)

Post #: 36

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 10/17/2006 6:49:51 PM

Morrigel

Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline

Ah, I see. Having now read the original thread...I guess I would consider it somewhat gauche and abusive for a person in ANY relationship, D/S or otherwise, to try and win an argument with their partner by telling that person that no one else would ever want or tolerate them.

Much less if the argument that was about something as far over the line as driving while intoxicated.

Sounds to me like the sort of psychological abuse that is classic from a controlling addict. "You're worthless and no one but me would ever want you! So keep that in mind before you dare to question my behavior, no matter how repulsive and irresponsible it is!"

--M

(in reply to ChaOz)

Post #: 37

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 10/17/2006 7:17:21 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

I've no clue about the orginal thread. As for Valium, well it really depends on how much he took and his tolerance level.

I know i can take about .5 mg and drive - but then i also have an anxiety order. I also know that if i take 4, 6, or 8 mg's - i will eventually pass out at some unknown moment and then wake up the next day and have a complete black out of the night before.

Granted my tolerance level has decreased alot since its been ages since i've had any valium, there fore meanng if i was to take any amount of valium i would have to do so in a safe enviroment first.

It really isnt about the drug. Its about tolerance level and quantity.

Drinking for example. I know my Dom can have about 2 jack and cokes and drive fine. But then he's 220 lbs. I know i cant. Body weight comes into factor there.

Personally - before i FREAKED out, i would simply judge the person and their ability to maintain their surroundings. Then i'd ask questions. 'how much did you take" "is it prescribed" "whats the prescribed dosage" "how long have you been taking them"

And if he was driving nuts - i wouldnt of freaked out. I'd of calmly told him to pull the fuck over and if he didnt, at the next red light he failed to stop at - i'd of gotten out the damn car and told him he was an idiot. And if it was my Dom, well i havent a clue because he isnt that retarded. But i think if i ever ended up in that situation with him - the look on my face would have told him everything he would need to know. HE would also be making it up to me, because i would flat out refuse to talk to hiim for i dont know how long.

There are ALOT of ways to express displeasure with our Masters. Sometimes silence is the most telling thing. My Master always knows when there is something upsetting me simply by my level of communication. Silence plus a look that tells a 1000 words. Silence, a look, and then flat out refusing to obey? Silence, a look, flat out refusing to obey and THEN taking matters into your own hands?

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 10/17/2006 7:20:30 PM >

(in reply to Morrigel)

Post #: 38

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 10/18/2006 9:01:57 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

Is there a link for the first thread? I am curious how the same situation could engender such vastly different responses...

--M

Sadly, there are three or four of these train-wreck posts by the OP.....all soliciting opinions. The one was specifically made to tell people that she didn't want to hear people's angry opinions. It's really all drama drama drama.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Morrigel)

Post #: 39

RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal - 10/18/2006 10:37:35 AM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

Is there a link for the first thread? I am curious how the same situation could engender such vastly different responses...

--M

Sadly, there are three or four of these train-wreck posts by the OP.....all soliciting opinions. The one was specifically made to tell people that she didn't want to hear people's angry opinions. It's really all drama drama drama.

Yup and notice how she hasnt been back since all of this happend last month

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 40

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