right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates (Full Version)

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slavegirl1969 -> right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates (9/29/2006 5:02:52 AM)

I am very sad right now. My Dom has just accepted a new job away from me.  We are very much in love with each other and I am feeling loss because of this aspect of us but also in the D/s sense.  We now both work for one of the emergency services, I in uniform and him as a civilian.  This job is a lifestyle and has been known to suck you out of reality, so you have no life outside of work.  He is going to be living very far from me, our shifts will probably clash.  My emotions are high because of him leaving and also because of not being able to serve him any more.  I am still in training as his sub/slave and know my training will disappear and selfishly I am upset about this too.  I enjoy training so very much in all its pain and glory.  I guess what I'm asking is how should I deal with these emotions and not upset him. Should I keep quiet or tell him exactly how I feel.



pleazuredpain -> RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates (9/29/2006 5:07:12 AM)

I am sorry you are feeling sad.  Is it not possible to transfer with him?    Going beyond that though. A relationship needs to be honest and open.  Do you feel you have the right as his submissive to hold back feelings from him?  If you can answer that, you know what you need to do.




JerseyKrissi72 -> RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates (9/29/2006 5:11:47 AM)

You have to let him know exactly how you feel...I am so sorry you are going through this, best of luck.



DivaDuchess -> RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates (9/29/2006 5:14:41 AM)

Honesty is always the best way ... talk to Him.  I, personally appreciate honesty.  If I do or say something that hurts My slave, I expect her to be open about it.  you owe Him that much and more given the love.  Talk to Him.



toservez -> RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates (9/29/2006 6:44:09 AM)

I am sorry for your sadness and your situation. I am inferring that since there was no mention of you moving with him that you have very significant reasons and just give yourself time to be upset but also try to focus on all the other good things in your life. Time tends to heal most wounds and I truly wish you the best.

Lin




Dnomyar -> RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates (9/29/2006 9:04:20 AM)

If your both in the same service field why can't you transfer with him. What have you left out?



MasterFireMaam -> RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates (9/29/2006 9:45:04 AM)

This certainly sounds like a hard situation to be in. However, you should always be honest about your emotions. If you stuff them, they will come back to bite you in the ass. When expressing them, say things like "I feel X because of Y", not "You are making me feel X because you've done Y." The latter is accusatory and can put him on the defensive. The former is much less likely to do so, although it still may happen.

Master Fire



mystiquenz -> RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates (9/30/2006 12:12:16 AM)

I read your post with a sadness.  However, you have to remain positive.  I would urge you strongly, to be honest with your Dominant about your feelings.  The situation will not change, but maybe, he will not seek another submissive from his new location, if he is aware of your feelings for him.  Dominants are not mindreaders, all of the time you know! ... lol

Sometimes, though, people come into our lives for a season, and not a life time.  You have had a wonderful teacher, a lot of positive times, and something to measure new Dominants against, as to what your standard may or may not be.  You have learnt valuable lessons, no doubt, so maybe you should be thanking him for the opportunity that he has presented to you, and move forward, with the knowledge that you are both moving forward.  You and he have now shared a history, you have your memories and the experiences.  At the end of the day, it takes two people to have a relationship, and so after you have had the conversation, you should sit back, and just ride the waves. 

I wish you well, regardless of the outcome.




diamonddreamlove -> RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates (9/30/2006 12:30:44 AM)

Honesty and respect are two of the cornerstones of bdsm.  As such telling Him how you feel is an important thing for you to do.  Only then can a solution regardless of outcome be formed and followed.  I would hate losing my Dom this way so i can only imagine how bad it must feel.  I so have trouble imagining that i would not share my feelings with the One person i have shared the most intimate part of my life with.  Talk to Him!



Tikkiee -> RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates (9/30/2006 12:49:28 AM)

I would suggest telling him. Don't see what woud be so hard about that.



mons -> RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates (9/30/2006 1:05:56 AM)

greetings
 
i am sorry but why do you feel  selfish? he is the one who took the job away from you he should had made plans for you care while or until he could be with you again, dear you chould not feel selfish at all he is the one who left with giving you a time when you will meet again
 
mons



ClassAct2006 -> RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates (9/30/2006 3:40:47 AM)

Poor you. Can't you just move to where he is going to be? I think D/S relationships don't need to be any different from others in terms of life, living together etc. If you get on that well and are that close why not just find a job near where he is going to be?



KatyLied -> RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates (9/30/2006 4:40:39 AM)

If you have a loving relationship and made plans to be together long term,  perhaps it's a good time to ask him why he accepted a job that requires him to relocate.



Estring -> RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates (9/30/2006 4:52:23 AM)

It seems to me that by his actions, he may be trying to end the relationship. I can't imagine he wouldn't know that his taking this job would also affect you and the relationship in a negative way.



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