Raising boys

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Raising boys

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> Raising boys

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Raising boys - 9/29/2006 10:17:36 PM

Nexo

Posts: 109
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a ! crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Post #: 1

RE: Raising boys - 9/30/2006 6:03:46 AM

EdumakatedRedneK

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/22/2006
Status: offline

Ok, I got one,

Mommys make very loud noises when you keep a bullfrog in there underware drawer.

(in reply to Nexo)

Post #: 2

RE: Raising boys - 9/30/2006 7:46:40 AM

justjade

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/9/2006
Status: offline

i had to laugh at a few of these...as i am a mother of a super charged 6 year old boy.
i am diabetic and i have taught my son how to check blood sugar levels. i walked out of the bathroom one day and caught him trying to check the blood sugar levels...in one of my cats. gotta love em

(in reply to EdumakatedRedneK)

Post #: 3

RE: Raising boys - 9/30/2006 10:51:32 PM

ThatLilBrat

Posts: 149
Joined: 2/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nexo

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

The truth is .... I wanna try it too ...

and I'm a woman.

I guess it's a good thing that it is not a Texas triple dog dare. <waits for the one who "runs with scissors" to read this>

I suppose it would be best to try it outside and stand down wind... huh?

_____________________________

Remember the three R's:
Respect for self;
Respect for others; and
Responsibility for ALL your actions and accept the consquences of your decisions

(in reply to Nexo)

Post #: 4

RE: Raising boys - 10/1/2006 2:41:58 PM

Saratov

Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

UPwind would be a better choice!

(in reply to ThatLilBrat)

Post #: 5

RE: Raising boys - 10/1/2006 2:48:18 PM

Majik

Posts: 358
Joined: 4/24/2005
Status: offline

I showed this list to my son and all he could do is nod his head go 'yep...did that...did that...oh did that one several times'. Then he leans over and goes 'mom, they forgot the ones about the farting and burping contests.

Gotta love kids...thank the gods mine are now in their 20's.

(in reply to Saratov)

Post #: 6

RE: Raising boys - 10/1/2006 2:53:08 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I showed that to my mom. Her response was, no Mat never did that stuff. You did though.
Hmm

DV

That and some strange story about making an Iron Man competition between my GI Joe and My He-Man figures which involved who could stant the oven longer, and who swam better ina flushing toilet.

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Majik)

Post #: 7

RE: Raising boys - 10/1/2006 2:55:52 PM

ThatLilBrat

Posts: 149
Joined: 2/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Saratov

UPwind would be a better choice!

you're right ... I got it backwards ... my excuse??? ... awwwwwmmmmm ... I'm directionally challenged ... and a bad speller

_____________________________

Remember the three R's:
Respect for self;
Respect for others; and
Responsibility for ALL your actions and accept the consquences of your decisions

(in reply to Saratov)

Post #: 8

RE: Raising boys - 10/1/2006 3:05:49 PM

ThatLilBrat

Posts: 149
Joined: 2/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

I showed that to my mom. Her response was, no Mat never did that stuff. You did though.
Hmm

DV

That and some strange story about making an Iron Man competition between my GI Joe and My He-Man figures which involved who could stant the oven longer, and who swam better ina flushing toilet.

A woman after my own heart ... I did not confessed this to my Mom the first time I was asked If I was the guilty party

there was a paintbrush that was used to paint a wall ... it was just sitting in a can of turpentine BEGGING me to test the brush out on the basements concrete wall and floor. I didn't think it was a bad thing because I didn't understand that there was still paint on the brush. Being the artist that I am ... I had a blast. There's not much fun at your grandparents house on a rainy day.

The next day my mom and grandfather were very surprised to see the wall white washed ... I was asked "do you know anything about this" ... now being a kid, I did what all kids in trouble do when there are no witnesses ... my eyes all big and round, I lied my lil heart out. Moments later, I balled my eyes out and confessed.

Then my sister confessed that she had done it also. That afternoon my sister and I were on the basement floor scrubbing the paint off the wall .... little did we know that it was oil based paint and it was NOT coming off.

I'll keep the story about me climbing up the football goal posts for another time.

_____________________________

Remember the three R's:
Respect for self;
Respect for others; and
Responsibility for ALL your actions and accept the consquences of your decisions

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 9

RE: Raising boys - 10/1/2006 4:53:00 PM

Saratov

Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

With or without clothes?

(in reply to ThatLilBrat)

Post #: 10

RE: Raising boys - 10/1/2006 5:09:19 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Thanks to this thread and my letting mom read it, dinner tonight became a recap of al the stupid things my brother and I did when we were younger.
Highlights thereof:
My brother decided to surprise mom by spraypainting the car a prettier color for her birthday when he was 7
I helped unclog the rain gutters with drano- since thats what Dad used to the pipes in the house (any idea what Drano does to plastic rain gutters.. it wasnt pretty)
My brother and I decided it was possible to build a water slide if we used dads ladder to get up to the top of the garage and nailed up our "slip and slide" really tightly
My best friend Denis and I found out the hard way that the door of a refrigerator someone threw out doesnt make a terribly good surf board. And the rest of the fridge doesnt make much of a life raft when you go out to rescue the surfer...

Ah, childhood. Its a wonder I survived.

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Saratov)

Post #: 11

RE: Raising boys - 10/2/2006 2:14:39 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

I'd love to send it on to friends - but its much too smoky here right now to see the monitor........

Something I learned when I was seven, was that you can steal the babysitter's cigarettes and smoke them in the bathroom so no one sees you, and you can flush the butts so no one finds out.

But when you open the bathroom door, the smoke will billow out into the whole house - and get you busted real quick.....

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 12

RE: Raising boys - 10/2/2006 4:20:56 AM

KenDckey

Posts: 4121
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline

1. I rode my bicycle 15 miles to walk up this long sidewalk with my home made skate board. The run was straight for about 1/4 mile with a really sharp corner at the bottom. At that corner was several cactus.

2. Don't let your kid live near a rocket making factory. Just think of the rocket launchers I made and shot around town.

3. don't let your kid have a chemestry set. There are way to many books out there on how to make explosives. Did you know that the model rockets can carry warheads that make really nice craters?

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 13

RE: Raising boys - 10/2/2006 3:21:52 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

LOL DV my older brothers name is Matt too!!! And the funny thing is we were always so close a lot of them things we did together!!! Yup my mom had a lot of fun in the mid 80's!!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to KenDckey)

Post #: 14

RE: Raising boys - 10/2/2006 6:12:28 PM

CreoleCook

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline

hmmm, thinking back, all those year ago.... anybody else remember taking tin cans, and with the help of a can opener, and a pocket knife, attaching severakl cans together, and making a cannon, with the use of lighter fluid in the vbottom tin can?

did you know you could actually shhot a tennis ball out of said cannon?

did you also know you could douse said tennis ball in lighter fluid, and it would ignite on its way out of the cannon?

I wonder if you also knew those same tennis balls will actually explode if left burning long enough?

oh, and while we're on that topic, I wonder if anyone else found out that burning rubber will not go out with water dousing them....

CC

_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 15

RE: Raising boys - 10/2/2006 8:24:42 PM

Nexo

Posts: 109
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

Hey, I was just thinking about making one of those cannons again!!! Aren't they fun : )

Damn those tennis balls fly high...I never lit one up before though.

All these posts of childhood memories brought one back for me too. I once knocked down a garage while on recess during lunch, when I was in seventh grade. There was this construction crew working next to the playground, clearing a lot to build a highrise, and they were on lunch break too. I got aboard this trackhoe and pressed the starter, and the damn thing came alive and began moving. I FREAKED out and jumped out of the cockpit, right onto a moving track! I leaped off it and ran to get one of the worker's. By the time we returned, the machine had wrapped a garage around a tree and lifted the whole thing about six inches off the ground. It was still grunting and chugging. I'm just lucky that the nun who chewed me out didn't get out the ruler or paddle....or maybe unlucky, depending on how you look at it!!!! : )

(in reply to CreoleCook)

Post #: 16

RE: Raising boys - 10/3/2006 8:44:34 AM

ohbiguy32

Posts: 281
Joined: 9/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nexo

Hey, I was just thinking about making one of those cannons again!!! Aren't they fun : )

Damn those tennis balls fly high...I never lit one up before though.

All these posts of childhood memories brought one back for me too. I once knocked down a garage while on recess during lunch, when I was in seventh grade. There was this construction crew working next to the playground, clearing a lot to build a highrise, and they were on lunch break too. I got aboard this trackhoe and pressed the starter, and the damn thing came alive and began moving. I FREAKED out and jumped out of the cockpit, right onto a moving track! I leaped off it and ran to get one of the worker's. By the time we returned, the machine had wrapped a garage around a tree and lifted the whole thing about six inches off the ground. It was still grunting and chugging. I'm just lucky that the nun who chewed me out didn't get out the ruler or paddle....or maybe unlucky, depending on how you look at it!!!! : )

LOL, Nothing quite that bad here. But, I did take apart a brand new riding mower when I was 12. Was trying to figure out how it worked. It never did run right after that. I should have left it alone. My punishment was to mow the lawn with reel mower the rest of the summer

(in reply to Nexo)

Post #: 17

RE: Raising boys - 10/3/2006 4:35:09 PM

Saratov

Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

Did ya learn your lesson?

(in reply to ohbiguy32)

Post #: 18

RE: Raising boys - 10/3/2006 4:39:04 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

Instructions I had to give my boys....

"Take the clothes out of the washer and put them in the dryer. AND TURN IT ON!" (You didn't tell me to turn it on!)

"Wash the dishes....AND the silverware, AND the glasses, AND the pots and pans..." (You said wash the dishes!)

"Please feed AND WATER the dog" (who is staring longingly at his bone-dry water bowl)

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to ohbiguy32)

Post #: 19

RE: Raising boys - 10/4/2006 3:50:45 PM

EdumakatedRedneK

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/22/2006
Status: offline

Well now flaming tennis balls is something I do know about. Its best done with two pringles cans and lighterfluid. Its fun to teach boys how to make things like that. That way they dont put a flaming match through there lip.

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> Raising boys

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094