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for what it's worth - 9/30/2006 8:55:09 AM   
pqwinny


Posts: 117
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline 		none of the previous posts were staged. all of this really happened and is really happening still.  i am actually devastated by it all including the public humiliation.  Humiliation is not my thing on any level, never mind publicly.  And as horrible as that is what is more crushing is that it seems that this unfortunate, but i hoped surmountable event has turned into a relationship Humpty Dumpty and i am heartbroken.
  
if you read the initial post on 'sir wants to know' my reason and intent are clear and sincere.
if you read the initial post on 'sir wants to know...the sequal' the same is true.  i added a clarification post a little later in the thread because it seemed necessary.

i only posted the final debacle 'i surrender' because i was ordered to do so, which i initially said i did not want to do for 3 reasons 1. it is humiliating to me 2. it is humiliating to the author of the message and not an accurate portrayal of who he is 3. i felt it was unfair to subject everyone on the forums to it.  i saw no postitive benefit but was emphatically ordered to do so again so i did in the hope that it would serve as a sort of submissive contrition to the author and possibly diffuse things enough to allow for productive discussion...which it has not.

so i post this now as an apology to the forum folk for having subjected you to this mess.  i am humiliated and i could run away with my tail between my legs or create a new profile but that's not me.

i truly am sorry for the mess.

_____________________________

I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.
-Albert Einstein
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: for what it's worth - 9/30/2006 9:30:53 AM   
subsa


Posts: 196
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		for myself...i feel its a privilege to have a look into the intimate experiences (good and bad)  of other people in this lifestyle.  i learn so many things.  so perhaps you can take comfort in knowing that your difficulties have possibly helped someone else deal with their own situation or, as in my case, keep themselves out of a dicey situation. 
in any case, this will blow over (at least on the board) and by next week the posts will be on page 3 where only them most dedicated go. 

good luck!    

(in reply to pqwinny)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: for what it's worth - 9/30/2006 10:12:02 AM   
sapphirepleasure


Posts: 411
Joined: 4/27/2006
From: Land of Enchantment
Status: offline 		pq,

I am glad you are not going away, and are continuing to process what you've learned from this awful experience, both on and off the boards.  I feel your sincerity and I hope you do learn to let go of the need for drama and take better care of yourself.

Blessings,
sapphire

(in reply to pqwinny)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: for what it's worth - 9/30/2006 10:17:36 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I'd say be less sorry for a mess that simply amused and piqued a few online readers for a few minutes for a few days each- and be more focused on wondering how the hell this mess got started and what exactly it indicates about your life and your relationship, and where you want to go from here in regards to both of those.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to pqwinny)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: for what it's worth - 9/30/2006 11:59:46 AM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		PQ, it's nice to see that someone can come up and admit hey, it's not all heaven in heels.   Damn.  we're real people with real issues, and the "i'd never shame my Master or be ill-behaved" crew is what sets so many green subs on the trek for perfection that eventually dooms them to failure. 

Relationships are a growing living thing, and even if they've got the flu, they're another example of how humans interact. thanks for sharing, even if it was hard for you, and for some of us to read it.

Someday, you'll laugh at this!  :)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: for what it's worth - 9/30/2006 12:13:40 PM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pqwinny

so i post this now as an apology to the forum folk for having subjected you to this mess.  i am humiliated and i could run away with my tail between my legs or create a new profile but that's not me.

i truly am sorry for the mess.


No need to apologize, to me, anyway, as this is an "enter upon your own merit" type of place where we are all entitled to post and share as we wish (of course within the structure of rules by CM)  What seems a mess for one, may be seen as treasure for another who may WISH they were in... your.(or their own).."mess"...  Each person has something of value, i do my best to view life from that perspective. 

(in reply to pqwinny)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: for what it's worth - 9/30/2006 3:27:19 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Look
Ok this sucks its no fun at all but listen he is showing you his charector now and from everything iv seen plus the fact that even though you did as told something that upset you and others here at HIS request and he still isnt talking or working things out with you about something that honestly was his foult and bad judgment (yes you played into it and had some part but all in all he did something very stupid and dangerouse) His first act alone would have been a deal breaker for me though I see for you it isnt but his behavior since I really think would be. He doesnt have controll over himself first not enough to be considerate enough of you himself and everyone els on the road by DUI but now he isnt haveing enough controll over himself or enough meturity to deal with his actions and is not only trying to put the blaim on you but he is makeing a public spectical out of himself and YOU.... Yeah right now he looks very bad and foolish and you know what he deserves to he had you bring it to the forums he couldnt have thought that you would only tell of your own behavior and not let everyone know what he did that provoked it and if he did again he is beeing immeture and un realisitic. Truethfull though any minuta of respect that man had went out the window with the letter he had you post... You need to reavaluate if you will put up beeing treated like this... personaly I think you deserve and can do a lot better!!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to raiken)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: for what it's worth - 9/30/2006 5:01:17 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		You need not apologize to me, I am sorry for you and he both. I will have you in my thoughts.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to pqwinny)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: for what it's worth - 9/30/2006 6:26:23 PM   
Kaledorus


Posts: 95
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline 		What is your experience in power exchange? Is this your first attempt at forming such a relationship? What is it that you seek in a D/s relationship?
These are questions that would be helpful in ascertaining your current situation.

(in reply to pqwinny)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: for what it's worth - 9/30/2006 10:56:18 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		There is no need to apologise.You did as you were ordered,plain and simple....I hope all turns out the way you wish..be well...Tempting

(in reply to pqwinny)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: for what it's worth - 10/1/2006 12:04:36 AM   
gypsylee


Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I'd say be less sorry for a mess that simply amused and piqued a few online readers for a few minutes for a few days each- and be more focused on wondering how the hell this mess got started and what exactly it indicates about your life and your relationship, and where you want to go from here in regards to both of those.


yup.

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

_____________________________

You're one twisted fuck... Nup, I'm just an ordinary girl with nothin' to lose.


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: for what it's worth - 10/2/2006 9:56:36 AM   
MasterRobert1


Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline 		So, what did you learn? What are the lessons you're taking away from this experiecne?

(in reply to pqwinny)
Profile   Post #: 12
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