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Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 9/30/2006 9:04:25 AM

LookingInward

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Joined: 9/30/2006
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I have been reading quite a few posts related to male chastity/orgasm denial. Most seem to see it as a control thing or a type of punishment. I was wondering if there are Mistresses who see it on a more emotional level.

What I mean by that is, that maybe it is emotionally important from them for their subs to not have orgasms. That by not having them they are giving their Mistress a great gift.

Post #: 1

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 9/30/2006 9:16:46 AM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
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I should think that the emotional importance would fall on the submissive.

If what most people say is true, men often care most about their own sexual pleasure.

Forget the Domme and what she is saying. From a male standpoing, allowing 'that' to be manipulated is an inward and outward sign that your submission is meaningful TO YOU.

Once it is clear how you deal with yourself, then it is clear to the Domme that your submission contains value.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to LookingInward)

Post #: 2

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 9/30/2006 8:29:45 PM

DivaDuchess

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Joined: 8/17/2006
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Very well stated Jeff ... I would value a male sub/slave who 'rose' to the occasion of control because he wanted to simply please me, not because I demanded it of him. THAT's a level not seen often and only when there is true acceptance as a slave and feeling for the Domme. that applies to a female slave as well. It's a very lovely thing.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to mstrjx)

Post #: 3

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 9/30/2006 10:53:06 PM

lilyophelia

Posts: 38
Joined: 1/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DivaDuchess
...that applies to a female slave as well. It's a very lovely thing.

See, now this is off-topic, but since You did bring it up...oh, do i hate the idea of any sort of chastity for myself *shivers* it's just, like the death of sensuality for me, and it actually feels hurtful, to be told no with any regularity, when i constantly strive to be ever-better and ever more pleasing for my Miss. i just..am having problems with the idea of long-term denial. But, if you want to make into a pretty thing that someone might give up, as a sign of devotion, then i might understand that more.

But, permission is a different thing, as long as it's not denied frequently, or without good reason, i think. It's respectful to ask for permission, before any submissive/slave has orgasms (even if the permission is blanket permission to freely have orgasms). But, for me, chastity feels very yucky and sad and unpretty, especially because i don't know that most female subs/slaves are impacted by it in a hugely beneficial way. The girls that i've known, who've gone for a while without orgasms, have tended to be emotional wrecks. *she giggles here*

Going back on-topic, in regards to many male submissives/slaves, i think a big reason why chastity is so prevalent is that men can actually become a lot less submissive in the time just after their orgasms, and so that control kind of uses their own sexuality against them. This is a little general, though...but it's one of the main reasons that we would insist on chastity in a male slave. i mean, i would think that a male slave who had come to the level where he could give that up, because he felt his submission was more important (and he felt like this would help him to be a better submissive), would be a more serious submissive, and more likely to be at a place where he could fit into our life.

These are just ramblings...

-lily

(in reply to DivaDuchess)

Post #: 4

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 10/1/2006 12:01:36 AM

dicipline2

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilyophelia

See, now this is off-topic, but since You did bring it up...oh, do i hate the idea of any sort of chastity for myself *shivers* it's just, like the death of sensuality for me, and it actually feels hurtful, to be told no with any regularity, when i constantly strive to be ever-better and ever more pleasing for my Miss. i just..am having problems with the idea of long-term denial. But, if you want to make into a pretty thing that someone might give up, as a sign of devotion, then i might understand that more.

But, permission is a different thing, as long as it's not denied frequently, or without good reason, i think. It's respectful to ask for permission, before any submissive/slave has orgasms (even if the permission is blanket permission to freely have orgasms). But, for me, chastity feels very yucky and sad and unpretty, especially because i don't know that most female subs/slaves are impacted by it in a hugely beneficial way. The girls that i've known, who've gone for a while without orgasms, have tended to be emotional wrecks. *she giggles here*

Going back on-topic, in regards to many male submissives/slaves, i think a big reason why chastity is so prevalent is that men can actually become a lot less submissive in the time just after their orgasms, and so that control kind of uses their own sexuality against them. This is a little general, though...but it's one of the main reasons that we would insist on chastity in a male slave. i mean, i would think that a male slave who had come to the level where he could give that up, because he felt his submission was more important (and he felt like this would help him to be a better submissive), would be a more serious submissive, and more likely to be at a place where he could fit into our life.

These are just ramblings...

-lily

isnt that kind of a double standard? lol. your saying its ok for the female sub to have all the orgasms they want because they will remain submissive even afterward? a male will not?

I have to disagree....

you say that it would be cold and sterile and not sensual.... do you think that might also apply to the male?

I think if the case is he is completely rebellious after his orgasm then denial might be pretty good in that situation.....but dont blanket all male subs/slaves this way.

Everyone is unique....

(in reply to lilyophelia)

Post #: 5

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 10/1/2006 12:13:20 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dicipline2
isnt that kind of a double standard? lol. your saying its ok for the female sub to have all the orgasms they want because they will remain submissive even afterward? a male will not?

I have to disagree....

you say that it would be cold and sterile and not sensual.... do you think that might also apply to the male?

I think if the case is he is completely rebellious after his orgasm then denial might be pretty good in that situation.....but dont blanket all male subs/slaves this way.

Everyone is unique....

Even though experience (my own and reading these boards) has told me it is difficult for most men to retain the submissive mindset after orgasm, you are right, we shouldn't generalize.
I for example don't feel I would be at all served well by a male wearing a chastity device. I might do it occasionally for fun if it is something he enjoys, but any male who requires/desires chastity for any extended period of time, is incompatible with me, and therefore not going to be considered by me. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to dicipline2)

Post #: 6

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 10/1/2006 12:21:03 AM

Frank01

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Joined: 9/7/2006
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The sexual focus between males and females seems to differ for the most part. I think there is a genetic factor at work-the fact that a male's sex drive pretty much corresponds with pressure in the seminal vesicles. For my part, it vanishes pretty much the instant that pressure is relieved-and I could care less about women or sex, I get sleepy.

And it can be a real challenge to be all touchy feely with the female next to me that I just banged the hell outa. Probably why I do a bit better on the top side-I'd piss a Domme the hell off.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 7

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 10/1/2006 12:32:59 AM

lilyophelia

Posts: 38
Joined: 1/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dicipline2

isnt that kind of a double standard? lol. your saying its ok for the female sub to have all the orgasms they want because they will remain submissive even afterward? a male will not?

I have to disagree....

you say that it would be cold and sterile and not sensual.... do you think that might also apply to the male?

I think if the case is he is completely rebellious after his orgasm then denial might be pretty good in that situation.....but dont blanket all male subs/slaves this way.

Everyone is unique....

Oh, it most definitely is a double-standard! i said, for me, i can't see ever be able to cope with long-term orgasm denial. i'm usually more submissive after my orgasms, i would say. i also haven't known it to be as heavily used with female subs/slaves as it seems to be used with male subs/slaves. In fact, there are lots of submissive males who fantasize about it. But, in answer to your question, i think it is most definitely a double-standard...without a doubt.

Is it justified? i think it could be, because men and women can be sexually very different. Can be is important here, and i think that, with a big marker, if you were drawing lines, people might agree that male and female sexuality might be substantially different. Are there women with very assertive, hungry sexual appetites...sure...are there men who have very "traditionally" feminine views towards sex...sure, i think that's obvious. i hate definitive generalizations, and try very hard not to make them, but your experiences are important to note.

i don't personally know that chastity has a big impact on a woman's submissive mindframe, while i have certainly known many men for whom chastity (and this isn't, like, no orgasms ever, but more a device that limits masturbation) vastly improves their ability to remain in a very submissive place.

i don't mean to imply anything about you at all. you may be quite wonderful and yummy, and very sensual and very submissive at all times. i don't mean to imply something about most male subs/slaves, even...

...from my own, personal experiences, many men seem to lose some of their interest in being submissive after having an orgasm. For our situation, if we had a male slave, his submission would need to be a pretty stable and consistent thing, and so chastity would be an important tool for us with our slave. See, no blanket statements.

i'm sorry if i left ambiguity in my last post. i don't think every male is less submissive after he has an orgasm. We've forced anal play on a male slave who was extremely heterosexual, and he was...noticeably broken afterwards. So, yup, orgasms can help a lot too...it was more, unrestricted masturbation that i was targeting here.

-lily

_____________________________

http://lilyophelia.blogspot.com/ - Currently in the middle of a giggly-blushy lesbian story between a Lady and a younger girl.

(in reply to dicipline2)

Post #: 8

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 10/1/2006 12:35:13 AM

dicipline2

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: dicipline2
isnt that kind of a double standard? lol. your saying its ok for the female sub to have all the orgasms they want because they will remain submissive even afterward? a male will not?

I have to disagree....

you say that it would be cold and sterile and not sensual.... do you think that might also apply to the male?

I think if the case is he is completely rebellious after his orgasm then denial might be pretty good in that situation.....but dont blanket all male subs/slaves this way.

Everyone is unique....
Even though experience (my own and reading these boards) has told me it is difficult for most men to retain the submissive mindset after orgasm, you are right, we shouldn't generalize.
I for example don't feel I would be at all served well by a male wearing a chastity device. I might do it occasionally for fun if it is something he enjoys, but any male who requires/desires chastity for any extended period of time, is incompatible with me, and therefore not going to be considered by me. M

Thanks, lol.

I just feel sometimes males subs/slaves dont even get a fair shake fromt he get go because they are generalized like this.

For a Woman it is sensual to be able to orgasm because of this....

Why take that away from the male and make his expierence miserable?

Obviously this at the sole discretion of his owner.... but I dont think its right to have a prevailing logic that men are incapable of of functioning as a sub and thus should be denied right from the get go.

I fully agree that if it serves a purpose it is a good thing. It shows him that the Domme has total authority over him. However, if this is a constant practice it is doomed to failure from the begining.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 9

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 10/1/2006 12:40:19 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank01
And it can be a real challenge to be all touchy feely with the female next to me that I just banged the hell outa. Probably why I do a bit better on the top side-I'd piss a Domme the hell off.

In that case, you need to have your orgasm denied, or I would deny you until I was ready to kick you out of bed to sleep elsewhere and not piss me off...
Incidentally, I'm much less sensitive about a man falling asleep after sex as a fem dom, but that is probably because we always make sure I've had fun first. Indeed few thingsused to piss me off worse (in my vanilla lifetime) than a man who's had fun and is now snoring, while I'm lying there frustrated, and dissatisfied. LMAO, M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Frank01)

Post #: 10

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 10/1/2006 12:48:20 AM

lilyophelia

Posts: 38
Joined: 1/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank01
And it can be a real challenge to be all touchy feely with the female next to me that I just banged the hell outa. Probably why I do a bit better on the top side-I'd piss a Domme the hell off.

Indeed few thingsused to piss me off worse (in my vanilla lifetime) than a man who's had fun and is now snoring, while I'm lying there frustrated, and dissatisfied. LMAO, M

Well, at least He understands himself enough to stay far away from a Domme. i mean, i know that my Miss could keep a unresponsive slave from falling asleep with a reall yummy cane, for instance. But, at least it works into a Dom/sub relationship for him, and he has thoughts of aftercare for His sub, i think, from what he was saying. *giggles*

_____________________________

http://lilyophelia.blogspot.com/ - Currently in the middle of a giggly-blushy lesbian story between a Lady and a younger girl.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 11

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 10/1/2006 12:52:13 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I dont see my boys orgasm denials as a great gift. I do see the fact that he refrains from orgasm without the need of a chastity device as a good method of control, becasue every time he is tempted to touch. It is reinforcing the idea that he is not his own person to comand anylonger, but he and al his actions are controled by someone else. I dont deny him often, if ever. Just the fact that he has to ask is enough.
We do plan on using long term chastity in the form of a device once he is living with me, to keep him focused on what he is suposed to be doing and not thinking about the physical effect being around me has on him. Personally I also prefer a chastity device on a boy I am femenizing becasue it keeps the look of a hardon from ruining the effect.
As for subs being less submissive after orgasm, I have seen that in both male and female subs, so I dont see how anyone can specificaly say there is more of a benefit to males than females. But then again I kept all my pets in chastity, with or without devices, whenever i had them.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

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If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

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VampiresLair

(in reply to dicipline2)

Post #: 12

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 10/1/2006 1:58:27 AM

UnvailedPurpose

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Denial:The question in my mind is, if a woman is healthy, enjoys every nerve ending in her body screaming for release and is capable of deeply submerging herself in sweating clawing multiple eruptions…what rational reason would there be for depriving herself from those enrapturing ecstasies and euphoric moments?

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 13

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 10/1/2006 2:03:45 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UnvailedPurpose
Denial:The question in my mind is, if a woman is healthy, enjoys every nerve ending in her body screaming for release and is capable of deeply submerging herself in sweating clawing multiple eruptions…what rational reason would there be for depriving herself from those enrapturing ecstasies and euphoric moments?

My sentiments exactly!

M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to UnvailedPurpose)

Post #: 14

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 10/1/2006 2:13:32 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

greetings '

i think as i seen written again many submissive oonly think of what they want do you want this too. please take the time and learn that you need to ask what she want or needs then you will be reward with what you want

mons ( hey my typing is getting better ) :O)

(in reply to LookingInward)

Post #: 15

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 10/1/2006 2:40:03 AM

pinksissyPA

Posts: 90
Joined: 6/2/2006
Status: offline

This is a good thread. Hope the boring pompous ones do not ruin it with their oppressive agenda driven rantings

(in reply to mons)

Post #: 16

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 10/1/2006 7:30:46 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

dicipline (gods how that spelling disturbs me!) --

You seem to be forgetting that men and women sexually are two different animals. What works for men does not work for women and vice versa. That's what makes being a bisexual dominant who manages slaves of both genders such a challenge!

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to dicipline2)

Post #: 17

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 10/1/2006 7:41:12 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dicipline2

Why take that away from the male and make his expierence miserable?

Understand that most women won't, if given the chance, sit around the house all day and masturbate. Most male slaves I've had in service to me would do it in a heartbeat (or did.) Women also have a different power store when it comes to her orgasms. This is a generalization, but it's far more ethereal and physically encompassing for a woman that it is for males (although I've known and have trained some males to have the "body orgasm".)

My former property came to me masturbating 4-5 times a day, sometimes at work (and he was a cop -- makes the kissing Vegas cop look like a boy scout.) He learned that through controlling the orgasms, he had far better quality sex and mindblowing releases when they happened. He wasn't wasting his time during the day on a passle of meaningless, 5 minute quickies and was far more attentive and energetic when he wasn't blowing off his load every other hour.

We're not just doing this because we're sick fucks. Really, there is a science to it with the male.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to dicipline2)

Post #: 18

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 10/1/2006 8:16:53 AM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

Pandora ... on a local 'nilla site the question was asked ... "You are more hornier when you are having regular sex" Fact or Fiction?

100% of the women who responded (25 - 30) said fact... all the men who responded bar one (10 -15) said fiction...saying they are more horny when not getting regular sex ... makes perfect sense to me to keep him attentive during these times ;)

Unvailedpurpose ... there is more than one way to have them ... so yes, it would seem silly that a woman deny that that she denys others ... good thing women like me don't ;) a boy's a toy and like a good puppy best he perform all sorts of tricks to keep me enthralled and endeared.

< Message edited by Jasmyn -- 10/1/2006 8:18:01 AM >

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

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(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 19

RE: Male Chastity/Orgasm Denial Question - 10/1/2006 11:31:34 AM

dicipline2

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

dicipline (gods how that spelling disturbs me!) --

You seem to be forgetting that men and women sexually are two different animals. What works for men does not work for women and vice versa. That's what makes being a bisexual dominant who manages slaves of both genders such a challenge!

I can agree with that.... :)

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 20

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