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Master's that change - 10/2/2006 6:41:05 AM   
confusedbymales


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline 		i am so confused i lived 24/7 with my Master and then all of a sudden he decides to go Trans gender not sure if it was me ( if i was that bad) or what it was any thoughts
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Master's that change - 10/2/2006 6:50:30 AM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline 		More likely to do with him than you.

(in reply to confusedbymales)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Master's that change - 10/2/2006 6:51:16 AM   
Nikolette


Posts: 488
Joined: 10/2/2004
Status: offline 		First of all....

It WASN'T you.

You can't make someone reject their original gender. Only they can go through a process where they decide its right for them. There are basically three possibilities: 1- He has been thinking about this for YEARS and was too afraid to act on it. or 2- He is going through some interal crisis that made him jump to this to cope. or 3- He spontaneously decided this was something he really would love to do, and is probably in general somewhat irrational.

No matter what this just totally concerns him and if its too much for you or he seems too unstable your best bet is probably just to move onward. You didn't go into this with that as even a possibility (or you wouldn't be confused) so its perfectly reasonable that you might want out.

Don't feel bad, and don't make him feel guilty either. I'm sure this isn't malicious on his part and its just inconvient and confusing for the both of you.

Another good thing to do is talk to HIM. Ask HIM why/how/when/what. Get the answers you need if he has them.

Good luck


_____________________________

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ---Mahatma Gandhi

(in reply to confusedbymales)
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RE: Master's that change - 10/2/2006 6:54:51 AM   
MasterAtsushi


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/16/2006
Status: offline 		Rather than you causing it by being bad, your Master may simply have felt safe enough with you to finally be who He/She feels like is their real self.

(in reply to Nikolette)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Master's that change - 10/2/2006 6:58:59 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		LOL,

Women will turn to lesbianism in the face of a bad man, but men never turn into women because you were bad.  That's in them for other reasons, for them that are so inclined. 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to confusedbymales)
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RE: Master's that change - 10/2/2006 10:10:04 AM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I doubt that his decision was made just like that, or had anything to do with you. He has probably felt this way for awhile. It would have been better to have clued you in before now, but he didn't. Good luck.

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to confusedbymales)
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RE: Master's that change - 10/2/2006 2:22:47 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Ask Him

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Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to confusedbymales)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Master's that change - 10/2/2006 2:35:06 PM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: confusedbymales

i am so confused i lived 24/7 with my Master and then all of a sudden he decides to go Trans gender not sure if it was me ( if i was that bad) or what it was any thoughts


Be careful not to take responsibility or credit for what someone else chooses for themselves, it is dangerous to make those assumptions and give yourself that much power in this situation.  You didn't make any threats or twist his arm did you?  Nope! i didn't think so...so this one male Master did an about face, or a slant angled face, it was coming for a long time, this stuff just doesn't materialize too quickly, and it leaves you confused as to HIS way of thinking....be careful not to project that upon all males and male Masters.  i know it is difficult though, i have watched movies about husbands with children and wives of long standing...change...after being grandpa for 20 years, now watching the family figure out what do the grand kids refer to him as? And other questions, hundreds of initial questions...i watched many folks learn to deal with changes of such magnitude.  It can be done.  On a lighter note....hehehe....If its any consolation, after me, my ex dominant of 15 years went vanilla...whooda thought? LOL! i hear his new girl friend is the dominant one now...too funny. i always thought he was a latent sub anyways....*grin Hang in there.
 
Side note:  You may wish to consider what it is within yourself that drew you to this man (Master) in the first place, and do some reflecting upon that.

(in reply to confusedbymales)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Master's that change - 10/2/2006 3:21:22 PM   
Slipstreme


Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline
quote:

i am so confused i lived 24/7 with my Master and then all of a sudden he decides to go Trans gender not sure if it was me ( if i was that bad) or what it was any thoughts


You had nothing to do with his gender identity. Finding out who and what you are often takes years for some people to learn, and gender is something that, unless you struggle with your own gender identity, you probably wouldn't understand what it is like to look in the mirror and stare at a body you never felt was yours. It is not an easy decision to go ahead and change gender, and many people repress it for many years until the stress gets to them enough to come out of the closet.The change is always difficult on family, friends and coworkers as well, to find out that their boy ended up, seemingly suddenly, becoming a girl, but for the man in question, he probably has identified as being a female for years.

I'd suggest picking up a copy of "True Selves: Understanding Transexualism"

_____________________________

Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to raiken)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Master's that change - 10/2/2006 3:44:46 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Ok the question really isnt weather or not you caused this because you didnt. it also isnt weather or not he knew about his feelings befor and hid them from you or lead you on.. These questions really arent the ones you need to answer the question is is this a deal breaker for you. Will you stay with him through this do you have any desire to be with a female you have to do what makes you happy, but please support him through this he is gunna need friend loveing and understanding!! Weather you stay with him or not at least be there for him!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to Slipstreme)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Master's that change - 10/5/2006 9:29:47 PM   
confusedbymales


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline 		 i am no longer collared but i do stand by him as a friend

(in reply to Nikolette)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Master's that change - 10/5/2006 9:30:49 PM   
confusedbymales


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline 		yes after a while He did come out and say that was the reason

(in reply to MasterAtsushi)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Master's that change - 10/5/2006 9:34:26 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Someone does not make someone transgender. More than likely he has had these feelings of gender dysphoria for most of his life. It is not something you just talk about. He has probably decided he is ready to make the change.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to confusedbymales)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Master's that change - 10/5/2006 9:58:57 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: confusedbymales

yes after a while He did come out and say that was the reason


That what was the reason??

Oh and Im glad that you are going to be there for him even though you no long have the M/s relationship

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to confusedbymales)
Profile   Post #: 14
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