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RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 5:57:22 AM   
Iskander


Posts: 264
Joined: 9/26/2006
Status: offline 		When I was about 13  (late 70's) I went to meet up with some friends in our 'bunker' cubby house we had made concealed away in some dense bush and when i got there i found several (ols school black and white) bdsm porn mags.. I didn't quite understand them of course, but found then strangely arousing, so I took them home and made them mine.. 

Many years passed and they were pretty much forgotten, I had a few 'nilla relationships, until one day I got into a relationship with a girl who brought up bondage as a kinky sex thing, it seemed to awaken something that had been dormant for a long time, but that relationship ended because she was a 'play switch' and I realised that I wanted more than 'play' and the sub side did not suit me one bit...

After that there were a few more 'nilla partners, but to them the whole subject was taboo, and for obvious reasons didn't work... Then I was lucky enough to stumble across someone whom I clicked with on many levels and joyfully discovered she was/is submissive... And well here we are..

Iskander...


(in reply to SirLordTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 7:24:47 AM   
dsamethyst


Posts: 91
Joined: 9/20/2004
Status: offline 		the beginning of the girl called Gem.... hmm..  a funny thing happened while growing up..

I was the son my father never had,  I dated all the nice guys my sister dated their badboy best friends and married a sailor!
he introduced me to the activities...  but it was a good friend that invivted me to a dinner party then she uninvited me again   and my being bold enough to ask her why becasue as it turns out it turned more kink than vanilla.  

So it was through a discussion with the wench herself that i got an actual word for what it is is am... and what it is i like.   It took time for me to make the mistakes and discoveries i have to figure out where i fit!

and from what i have been told.  I fit fine!

tah dah

_____________________________

people will forget what you said
they will forgive what you did
but they will never forget the way you made them feel

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 7:54:25 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I was in college about 95-96ish and I had a boyfriend actuually break up with me because he said I was too submissive. I was shocked and appalled. I thought I was just being me. I had a roomate that was involved in the lifestyle. I had never heard of it I was young and naive. We discussed how I felt about what had happened and she asked me to come to a munch with her. So I did and the rest is history.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to SirLordTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 8:08:08 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OhReallyNow

...20 years later and she is still trying to perfect herself ( a losing battle, she knows lol )


On a slightly off topic note...
You're already perfect, girl. We all are. Perfect and beautiful. We simply don't BEHAVE as if we are. THAT is what we work on...living up to what is truly inside.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to OhReallyNow)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 12:25:06 PM   
MistressMelissa


Posts: 226
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLordTrainer
This is a thread I thought up after dinner this evening, reflecting on how I first started out in this lifestyle/way. In 94, I picked up a copy of Wiseman's SM101 in a porn shop, and it pretty much snowballed from there. That was about 4 years before I found the local munch and the internet. I found that book most instrumental in helping lay a good structural foundation for Myself. Would be interesting to hear other's views on what first brought them to BDSM..  Thanks


Greetings,
I don't have a clear cut event that I can establish as a starting point. Back around '74-75 when I would have been 12 or 13 I found an interest in bondage. I would tie myself up or anyone else willing to allow me the opportunity. Just about hanged my neighbor at age 14 trying my first suspension.  We didn't have internet back then so I didn't even know it was a fetish until I was probably 16 and found my grandfather's stash of Playboys. In 1980 I found my first adult book store outside Great Lakes Naval Training Center and was amazed to find the "Bondage and S&M" section. I started collecting leather/toys right along with magazines. Over the years and a failed marriage, I would stumble across others with an interest and get a chance to play here and there. The internet has caused an explosion of information and yet at the same time I wonder if the internet has made it too simple. While once someone had to earn their way into a community, today they simply need a computer. I have to wonder how many would actually put forth the effort to be in this lifestyle when they claim they can't find a local community even with the internet to provide them a gateway. Heck, I'm amazed that publishers will actually print books of our lifestyle. Thirty years ago it would have been too taboo. Desk top publishing has opened that door as well. If anything, there maybe too much information available these days.

_____________________________

Melissa
Mistress of Ds Haven
www.dshaven.com

The person who says it can not be done, should not interrupt the person doing it. - Ancient Wisdom

(in reply to SirLordTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 12:48:06 PM   
MMshappysub


Posts: 120
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline 		 

One afternoon i was in a vanilla AOL chat room and i had been talking to this one man. And right out of the blues he asked me if i was submissive ? (now, back then i had no idea what the hell he was talking about lol i was purely vanilla ) and i had said to him that i had no idea what he was even talking about. So he gave me a site and that was castle realm oldie but goodie site .

But anyway, the more i read the more i was starting to understand what was within me. i had already done some role play and other things that i just thought that was just kinky but i enjoyed serving him in all kinds of ways not just sexual. This was with my first husband that i explored with.  i had told my 3rd husband about it and he told me " Well I am not going to be Dom I have been there done that and would not do it again". So you know what happens next. i was looking for someone to explore this with. But i was unaware of the players and wannabe that was out there. i was never abused or anything like that.

Anyway, i continued on reading and learning started going into the Indiana BDSM chat room on AOL. i started talking to this one older gentleman (he was a switch) and we talked and talked he was sorta like a mentor to me. He helped me learn more about what was in within me. He was the first to introduce me to my first munch. He helped me get threw a lot of my ruff times with work and my pure vanilla husband. Other then reading and talking and giving me sites from time to time to read that is all we had ever done. He did teach me though not to actually play with a Dom until i  had at least meet with him at least 3 times this gave me a chance to get to know them better and learn to trust them a little bit. i followed that rule to a tee.

Time had passed with learning who just wanted sex. (i had found a lot of those lol) One afternoon after work i went back into the Ind BDSM chat room. i was talking to this so called Dom at the time when my Master now came in there, this other Dom told me not to talk to Him but did i listen no because, he did not own me. So i started talking to Master and we hit it right off.

He had to build me from the ground up. i did not know anything (yes i read sites) but i really did not know anything about how to act what to say. But Master must of seen something within me that i did not. Grins. W/we have been together for 6 yrs now and today i can gladly say i have learned a great deal from Him. Explored a lot of things that back then i would of said no way not even going to try it, one of my limits back then was golden showers and needle play. Now W/we all learn and grow and want to explore more and exciting new things. So now i do not mind to a degree golden showers and now love needle play. So learning and exploring and learning more about ones self is very important.

happy

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 12:54:03 PM   
MarMe


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/2/2006
Status: offline 		For myself, it was when my husband first slapped my ass and I turned to him and said 'ohh, do it again please'  Seriously though, that is pretty much when it all started for me. He was pretty kinky and just kind of introduced me to it. After a time, it evolved from just kink into more of D/s.

(in reply to SirLordTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 6:08:29 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		 
Hello A/all,

When I was in grade school, my friends and I used to go into the reading room and tie each other up to see who could get away.  For some strange reason, they were unable to tie me up in a way that I could not escape, but they seldom escaped my bonds.

Then I wandered off into vanilla life.

It was not until years later that I was drawn into the lifestyle, and found that I had made my way home.

Just me, could be wrong, but there ya go.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 6:24:55 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline 		Actually, mine were not so cut and dried. I turned to the pain aspect within BDSM as a means of regaining control of an out of control life . It has worked wonders.
 

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~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to SirLordTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 6:40:51 PM   
SirLordTrainer


Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tikkiee

Actually, mine were not so cut and dried. I turned to the pain aspect within BDSM as a means of regaining control of an out of control life . It has worked wonders.
 


Intriguing.. Im guessing you mean from a discipline/structural perspective, care to elaborate?

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Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.

(in reply to Tikkiee)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 6:44:54 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Intriguing.. Im guessing you mean from a discipline/structural perspective, care to elaborate?

Umm, no lol. More from a perspective that pain brought me back from the edge of unfeeling to being able to feel again. It was a means of...I guess you could say...of reaching me so far inside that I began to feel alive once again. Just a messed up childhood is all :)

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to SirLordTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 6:47:40 PM   
SirLordTrainer


Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline 		Ohhh ok gotcha.. and good for you

_____________________________

Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.

(in reply to Tikkiee)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 6:57:55 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLordTrainer

Ohhh ok gotcha.. and good for you

Pain can be wonderful at times

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~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to SirLordTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 7:24:03 PM   
SirLordTrainer


Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline 		Yes it can be.. although I prefer being the administer not the recipient..

_____________________________

Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 8:44:37 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I really don't know when it began for me.  I feel like it is foolish to say that at four I was thinking of doing nasty things... but I am not sure when I felt the desires.  Maybe as puberty set in my thoughts and feelings became rather up intense, but even then it was thoughts like the clouds, always changing with no discernable pattern.   In my young adult life I wasn't interested in any intimate relationships, I found myself very internally focused on discovering myself.  By the time alandra crossed my path, I establish a strong healthy relationship with myself and was ready for more.

Besides the natural flow of the authority transfer that was occuring within my relationship with alandra, my passion for sexual expression was very intense.  In the beginning it was not so much what we did but where we could do it and slowly what we did started to evolve.  I still remember more than a few times that my back was bloody from alandra's nails digging in as I did was I desired.  I can still remember the intense pleasure that I gained by causing her to do this to me.  I recall how we evolved into bondage in our sexual expression all in the first couple years of our relationship.

There was no books or internet that we referred to during these years.  There was no negotiation.  There was no safewords.  There was only freedom to communicate and then unihibited expression what we desired.  I don't recall feeling nasty or dirty.  I don't recall feeling guilty or ashamed.  In fact, I felt alive and passionate... and today even more so.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SirLordTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 9:01:06 PM   
mystictryst


Posts: 125
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline 		I was the girl who hid her eyes going into the adult store. I thought all 'odd' sexual thoughts (I had) were a result of my corrupted upbringing.

It never occured to me to be submissive until I heard my Master's voice ad on a telephone dating service (it's how I met him)... He said he was seeking a '24/7 submissive' and I thought "hmmm... I could do that..." and messaged him. I had no knowledge, no idea of what I was getting into. I knew what submissive meant - I thought he wanted someone who could be obedient, take orders, behave, and look good on his arm. The rest of is (the BD part) caught me a little off guard...

I am submissive in nature, however, I am extremely domineering in my everyday life and it surprises the few people who know both sides of me. :)

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/4/2006 4:34:58 AM   
SirLordTrainer


Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline 		I would just like to thank all who have posted thus far and all who may still yet. I think it's very healthy on many levels, in that we dont ever forget when, how and why we got to WIITWD

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Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.

(in reply to SirLordTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/4/2006 9:21:02 AM   
SirLordTrainer


Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline 		Very nice

_____________________________

Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/5/2006 4:36:09 AM   
SirLordTrainer


Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: swtsouthernsub
was introduced to the wiseman 101 book as well in 2000 it helped me a great deal then i read the anne rice books i cried i laughed and i ached to be sleeping beauty


Yes it is a very good book, as well I recommend John Warren's 'The Loving Dominant'.

_____________________________

Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.

(in reply to swtsouthernsub)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/5/2006 7:22:27 AM   
Iskander


Posts: 264
Joined: 9/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tikkiee
Pain can be wonderful at times


Oh yesss... I'm not someone who likes pain all that much (at all), but I will never forget my first nipple piercing...
I can fully understand why people get addicted to piercings...

Iskander...



(in reply to Tikkiee)
Profile   Post #: 40
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