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Keeping the Faith - 10/3/2006 6:33:06 AM

RiotGirl

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There's another topic on here called "Faithless subs" or some shite and i thought it was going to be about a totally DIFFERENT topic and well i feel disapointed. (wg.. those damn men again)

Anywho.. so imma start the topic i thought it was. Which was "subs/slaves that have a hard time keeping the faith" (and i dont mean religion)

who would like to start?

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RE: Keeping the Faith - 10/3/2006 6:38:37 AM

justheather

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I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you mean by "have a hard time keeping the faith".
Could you please explain for me?

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I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

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RE: Keeping the Faith - 10/3/2006 6:39:09 AM

mnottertail

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Posted on the wrong thread.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: Keeping the Faith - 10/3/2006 6:46:35 AM

thisishis

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quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you mean by "have a hard time keeping the faith".
Could you please explain for me?

Just a guess, and i can think of a few examples of where RiotGirl may have intended for this thread to go:

1. As a submissive/slave, in your search for a dominant partner, have you lost faith in finding them due to having to weed through all of the wannabes, fakes and HNGs?
2. As a submissive/slave, now that you've finally found a dominant partner, have you lost faith due to the reality of what serving them involves, not being what you thought it would be/ not measuring up to what you'd expected it to be like?
3. As a submissive/slave, do you sometimes worry that your dominant partner may lose/has lost faith in your ability to learn to serve them in a way that measures up to their expectations?

.... and i ran out of time, have to go and will try to reply with my answer to the OP later on sometime.

< Message edited by thisishis -- 10/3/2006 6:50:10 AM >

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RE: Keeping the Faith - 10/3/2006 12:30:01 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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Riot I hope this was your intent in beginning this thread, so am going to reply as it is also how I understood it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thisishis
Just a guess, and i can think of a few examples of where RiotGirl may have intended for this thread to go:
1. As a submissive/slave, in your search for a dominant partner, have you lost faith in finding them due to having to weed through all of the wannabes, fakes and HNGs

I don't know about sumissives, but as a domina, I've had a few of those moments. Mostly though they've been learning tools to get me to become more specific and a clearer communicator in terms of what I want/seek and need within a relationship, and yes it is a relationship I'm after, not more casual play, and not more casual sex.

quote:

2. As a submissive/slave, now that you've finally found a dominant partner, have you lost faith due to the reality of what serving them involves, not being what you thought it would be/ not measuring up to what you'd expected it to be like?

Again as a dominant, I have discovered that the vast majority of men who've tried to connect with me offering to be my slave, have only thought of the fun of being commanded sexually, dismissing the everyday boring/mundane affairs life insists on. This would also be the reason I would like a more mainstream definition of submission and slavery, vs top and bottom.

quote:

3. As a submissive/slave, do you sometimes worry that your dominant partner may lose/has lost faith in your ability to learn to serve them in a way that measures up to their expectations?

As a dominant, yes I do worry about being good to/for the one in my care, with trust, care, and love ever evolving rather than stagnating and becoming more of a habit.

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RE: Keeping the Faith - 10/3/2006 12:45:37 PM

onestandingstill

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Hey Riot Girl,
For me sometimes it's very hard to keep the faith.
I just ended my first D/s relationship 7/06. In that the problems I had have affected my faith in a Dom to lead with honor and truth.
While I realize everyone else is not him I see those same problems here online in trying to make friends or find someone to date.
Sometimes I wonder what the hell I'm doing on this blasted internet answering messages 3-4 hours a day.
It does not seem to help me find real people who want to be face to face friends, open and real in what they seek, or honestly looking for a more than fly by night romp.
All I seem to find is those with their agenda tucked under their arm or guys who think I'm going to just play with some stranger without getting to know them first.
Between that and the only Doms that seem interesting are usually very far out of this area I'm in.
My faith in internet communications producing my one is almost fully dead, and my faith in finding my one is something I hope for but have no evidence of.
I think the only reason I hang on is the fact I want a Master and a solid D/s relationship more than I want most things.
I do not want to rush into it, but do want to eventually work toward that goal with someone who's of like mind.
I think if I threw in the towel I may miss that one golden opportunity to indeed find the one to follow for the rest of my life.
Keeping the faith for me is more about hope of that which can not be seen, than faith something I see will be obtained.
suzanne

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RE: Keeping the Faith - 10/3/2006 5:36:14 PM

Sensualips

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A few weeks ago I observed an intense discussion/argument between a committed D/s couple. He felt like she no longer trusted him, that she had lost faith in him. She responded, "I have not lost faith in you. I have lost faith in myself. I have lost faith in us."

There was some silence after that. Because when evidence and interactions are showing that two people are not as compatible as they once were, that there are core differences that simple love and trying and even comminication can'tsolve...who wouldn't lose faith? Only an insane person, right?

Faith is a funny word. It is a belief without proof, without evidence, not based on logic. That is why it is called a "leap of faith" and I am not much of a leaper. I do not typically have faith in people, in that sense of the word. I may have confidence or trust in someone based on my past history and observations of that person. Once earned I am very loyal, clinging to that loyalty often past the point of reason. But true faith? Not so much.

I am seeing this question as submissives/slaves that find it difficult to maintain faith (or confidence?) in a situation or person. I assume probably his/her dominant or relationship, since RG singled out submissives/slaves. How people deal with that?

I think the thing about faith is you either have it or you don't. You choose to believe, without proof or logic, or you choose to be safe and reasonable.

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RE: Keeping the Faith - 10/3/2006 11:54:41 PM

srllile7

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Keeping the faith yes i feel like my faith is wavering in finding a Dominant partner and in my self as far as this life being the right fit for me. 3 weeks ago i go meet a Dom Ive been talking to for 5 months everything goes great, he continues swooning me after we get back home from the visit then a week later nothing, hes gone no answering a phone, no messages nothing, and well this is about how the first attempt at a SM relationship went for me as well except he didn't ignore just wasn't around much till finally i said lets end this. So I'm loosing faith in finding a Dominant man who is mature and responsible enough to say i'm not interested... I'm a big girl i can handle that but ehh i guess this is the Internet for you.

I must give tons of respect to those who have been "dating" as a submissive for along time as I am not sure if i can hack it forever; i'm feeling burned out within my first year. I'm looking for a nice true bdsm relationship, not just a horny bored man; and honestly not sure how to go about this. There are tons of tips etc on this website and others but it all comes down to instinct and well mine sucks i have to say .

So yes I'm getting a little low on my faith on the possibility of ever experiencing a long term true for me M/s relationship with a little kink on the side. But hopefully its nothing that a little down time from searching cant cure.

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RE: Keeping the Faith - 10/5/2006 12:45:56 PM

RiotGirl

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dur thanks folks.. i'm such an airhead.. i had forgotten i asked this question.. until i just created the post about branding.

i guess i sort of ment keeping the faith in a relationship. Keeping the faith in general. I tend to be like you Sens as i often see that i am a faithless person when it comes to the world and people.

i think faith is easy to lose hard to get. i think in any given situation one can lose faith many times and regain it. Say for example this group of cows i was herding away from a main road. At the start i had no faith that i was going to do anything with these cows. As i progressed and got them to comply i had tons of faith that i would resolve the issue. Then the bull tried to stare me down (and well i know diddly squat about cows and bulls) i lost faith as well Mr bull just seemed to be staring at me.. and then i eventually won the staring contest and and regained faith as i got them away from the road.

Even in people as they bounce back and forward with life? Just like with the cows?

faith it comes and it goes.. how do you keep it a constant? Even if that massive bull is staring at you like lunch? Or do you not worry about it and just keep working towards your goal? Or is faith just never giving up?

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Keeping the Faith - 8/14/2007 8:45:16 PM

shigglyboom

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<Bounce! ;)>

This (old) thread ties in with some struggling I've been doing lately. What do you do to combat lack of faith? What do you do when you see yourself losing faith in having faith?

For me, I find there are times when I *feel* faith, and it is effortless and joyous. This can be months or years. But at other times, faith seems like a theoretical chore that I begrudgingly practice without being quite convinced.

During the latter times, even having faith in having faith is hard. In other words - you start thinking "Why go through the chore? Why bother trying to believe?"

If you've gotten through a period like this and come out on the other side - whether in D/s or another context like religion, peak performance, etc .... how did you do it? What kept you going? How important was your belief that at the other end faith would "payoff", or come naturally again?

Thank you for any insights,
Liana

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