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purpose of training? - 10/3/2006 1:42:52 PM   
stillexploring


Posts: 72
Joined: 10/2/2006
Status: offline 		why  do you train your submissive /slave ?
is it just because  he/she can serve you in a better  manner ?
or do  you really care someone giving you his/her body  and  want him to  remain more healthy /competitive  and active in life.
and how do you train your subs/slaves ?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: purpose of training? - 10/3/2006 1:53:53 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		My training is less about the actual BDSM Acts, although that is a part of it, and more about how to be pleasing in a sumbissive manner.  There is a learning curve regarding obedience and trust which is built up over time.
Frankly, I don't hold too much with all the claims of already being trained.  It is a lousy word anyway, ( I feel the same way about the word "serve" or "service") because most boys will say "train me, Ma'am, how to take a butt plug or orally please you", but they have no interest at all in pleasing Me when it comes to drying My hair, or cooking a meal or washing the car. You indicate this yourself, stillexploring, by mentioning the use of "a body" as opposed to a relationship with a complete dynamic.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: stillexploring

or do  you really care someone giving you his/her body  and  want him to  remain more healthy /competitive  and active in life.


Training is the whole dynamic, and then how that is adapted in a particular relationship.  And the actual BDSM playtime activites make up only a very small percentage of that.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 10/3/2006 1:57:23 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to stillexploring)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: purpose of training? - 10/3/2006 1:55:40 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		What Dusty said!

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: purpose of training? - 10/3/2006 2:00:00 PM   
stillexploring


Posts: 72
Joined: 10/2/2006
Status: offline 		i did not mean  "using body" just for sexual activity . As a  sub you can do almost  anything  with him/her . most subs  are tied up  during  bdsm session  , so a sub would not be able to do anything even if you kill him .. Reason of using his  body is  he  trust you  and he believes that you  are not going to offer him any permanent  damage (however  sadly in some cases it  happens  accidently)

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: purpose of training? - 10/3/2006 2:21:32 PM   
Argentopal


Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline 		most subs  are tied up  during  bdsm session 


This is another one of those "one size fits all" statements that is not true.  I am seldom tied up for a play session and I soemtimes have someone cuffed and sometimes I do not.  It all depends on the person, the type of play, the circumstances, and many factors.

As to "training", as has already been stated, I begin very very slowly with service, things that the sub can do to help me, to make my life more pleasant and easier.  Play is slow as well with lots of aftercare and affection, appreciation for their trust and confidence in me.  Then we go from there and see what we can discover.

MsOpal

(in reply to stillexploring)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: purpose of training? - 10/3/2006 3:20:08 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stillexploring

i did not mean  "using body" just for sexual activity . As a  sub you can do almost  anything  with him/her . most subs  are tied up  during  bdsm session  , so a sub would not be able to do anything even if you kill him .. Reason of using his  body is  he  trust you  and he believes that you  are not going to offer him any permanent  damage (however  sadly in some cases it  happens  accidently)


Alright...
Then you must mean that there is no mind or heart attached to that body?
I agree that this can occur in some cases, but in those instances, there is also no real personal relationship.  It is either a case of pure domestic service from one who enjoys this and in turn gets some security which includes a roof over their head and some occasional conversation.
Or, it may happen in the case of no relationship, but a nice play partner.  And when it is over, it is over.  See ya at the next party?
In the first example, the only training needed is how to properly cook, clean etc., and do it with a smile.
In the second instance, there is no need for training, because it is a temporary, albeit, mutual gratification.
This is exactly why I object to the word "training" or "service" as some sort of  very broad catch all.
I see it in profiles all the time.  "I want to be trained", or "I am ready to serve a Mistress"...
But if ask, what does this mean to you?...I cannot get an answer.
BTW, in your quote above, you are still, in fact, referring to a scene, as opposed to a service oriented relationship.  I can't tie you up, even if I wanted to, and then tell you to do the dishes!

Edited to add:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Argentopal

most subs  are tied up  during  bdsm session 


This is another one of those "one size fits all" statements that is not true. 


Absitively!

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 10/3/2006 3:23:26 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to stillexploring)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: purpose of training? - 10/4/2006 8:05:49 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stillexploring

why do you train your submissive /slave ?
is it just because he/she can serve you in a better manner ?
or do you really care someone giving you his/her body and want him to remain more healthy /competitive and active in life.
and how do you train your subs/slaves ?


I train for two reasons.

To discover if someone is an appropriate slave for me.

To help someone learn more about herself in relationship to erotic slavery and SM.

For either of these reasons I have formal program I designed. Couldn't describe it to you, it is complicated and also has some flexiblity for different skills and abilities. I can tell you that it must happen face-to-face for at least 3 hours for at least 14 sessions so almost 4 months of time.

That has turned out to be the right amount of time for someone to learn more about themself and BDSM to make better choices and for us to see whether or not we as two people and we as a family want/can continue as owner & slave or simply part ways, hopefully as friends.

Of course, as Fox would tell you, training never really ends because we've just been working on him learning the appropriate baskets for different clothes to make laundry more effecient around here. It has taken about two weeks of reminders, feedback, and doing it over and over until I was satisfied but I think he has now.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to stillexploring)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: purpose of training? - 10/4/2006 8:12:58 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline
quote:

why  do you train your submissive /slave ?


So the slave can learn about me and my preferences and the way I do things.  So he or she can better serve me.  So he or she can grow and learn as I can.  To enforce structure.  To ensure compatibility. 

quote:

is it just because  he/she can serve you in a better  manner ?


No, there is also a personal aspect that may be taken from it.  Even if there is not a long term match there, the sub will go away with something that can be taken to the next relationship.  Serving me the way I want to be served is a big portion but so is personal growth.

quote:

or do  you really care someone giving you his/her body  and  want him to  remain more healthy /competitive  and active in life.


Absolutely.  I want a slave who is an intelligent, fun, self sufficient person who can hold their own in society in general.  This makes them more valuable to me.  If they have issues in that sense, I would encourage growth in that area.

quote:

and how do you train your subs/slaves ?


Vewy carefully and vewy slowly.  I go from the broad to the narrow and with time various scenarios get played out.  I have general rules, manner of address and expectations that are outlined and addressed.  Then I talk a lot about me, what I like, how I like it, what the sub likes, how that gels, etc.  Then I start to narrow the field.  I get more specific and discuss particular scenarios, how the sub should act, what is and is not allowed, loopholes, communication, etc based on specific circumstances.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to stillexploring)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: purpose of training? - 10/4/2006 12:43:46 PM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		Hmmm ... I train slaves myself, not just mine (when I have one in House), but others that will come to me for that reason.  Basically what most are looking for is pushing toward hard limits ... yes.  However, there is alot of other things involved in a good slave.  For instance, I love to have my back rubbed and my feet as well.  Can you paint nails?  How about your cooking skills or ability to follow an almost anal daily schedule?

At the end of the training, I give them a 'token' training collar.  They have the choice of being 'auctioned' off or leaving to fend for themselves.  I've only had one choose to go it alone and they were back in 5 months *lol*.  The auction is fun and exciting ... the slave sets what they believe they are worth NOW.  Whatever price they set, I try to get as close to it as possible.  Whatever is gotten is put in a maturing CD for 5 or 10 years to mature.  The point is, the slave I have trained, has earned it ... it's all theirs.  I love to watch a young man or woman go from know nothing to very nicely laid out and from no self pride in many cases to overflowing sense of pride.

So ... training is whatever one wishes it to be, for me ... it's helping another person become what they feel they are inside very capable of being and doing.




_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 9
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