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GOING THE DISTANCE - 10/3/2006 6:59:55 PM   
UNTILYOU


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline
 I am wondering if someone, preferably a Dom, or even a sub if she has experienced this, if someone could help me out on this question..
 
I am getting alot of Doms approaching me interms of getting to know me for a Dom / sub realtionship,  which is all fine and dandy, as that is what I am after, but there's one problem, well at least it's a problem for me.. they are all from out of state..
 
So my question is, how does one have this type of relationsip long distance ?
 
I cant imagine how you would do it, really live it and enjoy it to its fullest, if the other person is far far away and not accessible for human touch..
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RE: GOING THE DISTANCE - 10/3/2006 7:09:56 PM   
swtsouthernsub


Posts: 477
Joined: 12/23/2004
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there was a recent post here on the forums about that once again check all back post of forums especiall off topic ones ask masters/ ask domme/ ask sub/slave great information found on thoses posts 

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Messenger Of Truth
Let the words of my mouth and meditations of my heart,
be acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and redeemer
Psalms 19:14

Those with a closed mind live a sheltered life.

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RE: GOING THE DISTANCE - 10/3/2006 7:25:20 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline
Did that done that wasn't a bad experience just not enough for me to continue long distance.  When i decided that i needed someone closer i looked only for those closer to home and then i stated it in my profile and only answered those that either read the profile and although a distance away wrote and explained they were in my area frequently or only those in my area got a response.  I hated doing that but have to take care of my personal need/limit before getting into a relationship that i could rarely be a part of.  Good luck.

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RE: GOING THE DISTANCE - 10/3/2006 8:09:43 PM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline
It would seem that being in Phoenix you would be able to find some local kinksters.. if you are very new start with Arizona Power Exchange.. they have a website http://www.arizonapowerexchange.org/index1.htm

Meeting people in real time is much better than trying to get to know them over the internet, although it IS possible to find them through sites such as this if you are patient and bide your time well.

You can also just do a general internet search for BDSM, Phoenix, AZ and I am sure you will find other venues to go out and meet people. Most have an email address if you are nervous about attending alone and they will try and arrange a "buddy" to meet with you to bring you to the activities. You can also attempt to find a "yahoo" email group list which is local to your area.. although I dont know of any for the Phoenix area..

Good luck to you and be patient..it will all work out as it is supposed to.. :)

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RE: GOING THE DISTANCE - 10/3/2006 8:22:31 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
People can be fulfilled in all sorts of life experiences.  The choice of life for a monk might not be the right choice of life for you.

Some people can make LDRs work, at least for certain periods, and some (most) can't.  You have to make that determination for yourself.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_555442/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#555476
How do you cope?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_399208/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#399230
Long distance relationships...how do you all make them work and overcome the obstacles that arise?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_358232/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#358330
When the Master is away

http://www.collarchat.com/m_243191/mpage_2/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#243396
Online or Distance relationships

http://www.collarchat.com/m_5502/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#207957
Long Distance Relationships

http://www.collarchat.com/m_214831/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#214831
Long distance d/s

http://www.collarchat.com/m_210165/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#210165
Pleasing my master long distance

http://www.collarchat.com/m_131170/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#131170
In Between Visits

http://www.collarchat.com/m_124826/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#124826
LDR and sickness or death

http://www.collarchat.com/m_89834/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#89834
Long distance punishment ideas

http://www.collarchat.com/m_22973/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#22973
Long Distance Relationship (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_5502/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#5502
Long Distance Relationships (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3521/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#3521
Long Distance

http://www.collarchat.com/m_272610/mpage_1/key_LDR/tm.htm#272610
LDR D/s ideas

http://www.collarchat.com/m_108560/mpage_1/key_LDR/tm.htm#108560
Long Distance Relationships????



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RE: GOING THE DISTANCE - 10/3/2006 10:08:36 PM   
hypnoticblue


Posts: 130
Joined: 9/20/2006
Status: offline
My personal opinion, would be to wait until you find someone locally.  You live in a large enough city that if you really crave a physical relationship, you'll find one.  Don't worry about it!  There will be more...

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RE: GOING THE DISTANCE - 10/4/2006 5:12:30 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
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Well, the good thing about Long Distance is that it gives you more chat time and talk on the phone in getting to know them. Hopefully, honesty is always there. Eventually, you're going to have to meet. Make yourself a six month rule. If you can't seem to see each other in six months or less, then the relationship will most likly not go anywhere. No one can just wait and waste there time on someone who can start something online from out of state, but can't push it forward with a physical visitation.

No one should spark an interest with someone out of there area unless they have the ability to visit them in the near future. It's a lack of responsibility to do so. If they just can't visit you, then they never meant to meet you in the first place. There is something they are hiding and they most likly just want you on there Chat List of subs to get off to in there Internet Fantasy Life. 

< Message edited by FangsNfeet -- 10/4/2006 5:14:59 AM >


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RE: GOING THE DISTANCE - 10/4/2006 7:58:36 AM   
hypnoticblue


Posts: 130
Joined: 9/20/2006
Status: offline
what he said lol

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RE: GOING THE DISTANCE - 10/4/2006 8:43:13 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline
I have expanded my criteria just a tad because I have met some really nice people who are out of state or out of my local area but in reasonably close cities.  If they have a reasonably good possibility for relocation I will consider continuing discussions with them and see what happens.  What I do not do is seriously dominate someone long distance unless I have met them. 

Travel for business, vacations, family responsibilities, etc can happen in any relationship forcing you to temporarily have a LDR.  This can be fun and imaginative if done for a short term.  I won't, however, base an entire relationship on long distance.  I must have physical contact and there must be a primary local relationship eventually...and soon.

I will have discussions with those who are LD.  If they can make an effort to meet to see if there is a possibility for more, I can work within that for a time as details are sorted and arrangements made.  But I am very leery of it.  Without continual contact and the ability to have physical contact from time to time during a process of relocation, it is not as enjoyable to me.  I would suggest looking almost exclusively in your local area first.  There may be a gem somewhere outside your area but it takes a lot of work and money to get from cyber to physical if it is a very long distance.  There are also more concerns about fakes when you can not talk and meet face to face.  Be careful and use your best judgment but if local is a limit for you, stick with that.

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-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

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RE: GOING THE DISTANCE - 10/4/2006 12:25:20 PM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline
I've done LDR's ... hated it.  I'm quite capable of dominating online or anywhere else for that matter.   I prefer IRL though as the touch of another body is what makes it very sweet for me.  Actually hearing a scream or moan from a person lying or kneeling right there makes the experience very special.

If I were you ... get into an IRL situation and network.  Or open yourself up to relocation in the near future.  Another would be only respond to those that have the ability to visit ... often.  Another would be to search only in your state of choice and perhaps the two surrounding.  The distance is cut down that way.  Do NOT reply to anyone not from your states of choice. Don't even read their notes, just ignore them if you must.  Forget rude, they started it by not reading your profile enough to know you were seeking something LOCAL.  Make sure your profile is redundantly obviouse that you will only do local.

Good luck.


_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

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RE: GOING THE DISTANCE - 10/4/2006 1:08:58 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
You totally have to decide just how much you want to limit yourself. I'm in a slightly remote area and I was still going to limit my search to no more the 3 hours away. Well i met Sir and He lives 6 hours away and you know what I learned was that it was worth the extra distance *S*

Even if it doesn't work out in the end, it is totally worth the extra effort to spend time with Him now.

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RE: GOING THE DISTANCE - 10/7/2006 6:50:05 AM   
pinkee


Posts: 487
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

Well, the good thing about Long Distance is that it gives you more chat time and talk on the phone in getting to know them. Hopefully, honesty is always there. Eventually, you're going to have to meet. Make yourself a six month rule. If you can't seem to see each other in six months or less, then the relationship will most likly not go anywhere. No one can just wait and waste there time on someone who can start something online from out of state, but can't push it forward with a physical visitation.

No one should spark an interest with someone out of there area unless they have the ability to visit them in the near future. It's a lack of responsibility to do so. If they just can't visit you, then they never meant to meet you in the first place. There is something they are hiding and they most likly just want you on there Chat List of subs to get off to in there Internet Fantasy Life. 


i'd say 75% of the email i receive from Men are from Pl who live out of state. In my profile, it states i have family in Ohio, and wish to remain close to them -- say a day's drive.  Apparently, some Men do not read this part.
 
i had a "ldr" with a Man who lived 2 1/2 hours from me...every day, by phone, for months on end.  Finally i realised that He was never going to meet me in real life and ended it.
 
i want a 24/7 LTR; i want to live with my One.  i think if i were the one doing the relocating, i'd first find a place to live, a job, and other such things so that i could live alone, but near Him.  This would allow U/us time to find out whether or not O/our relationship should be taken to the next level.
 
i would not find much satisfaction in a "ldr" in which i only saw the Man on rare occassions. 
 
pinkee

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RE: GOING THE DISTANCE - 10/7/2006 12:35:30 PM   
amlonging


Posts: 153
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UNTILYOU

 I am wondering if someone, preferably a Dom, or even a sub if she has experienced this, if someone could help me out on this question..
 
I am getting alot of Doms approaching me interms of getting to know me for a Dom / sub realtionship,  which is all fine and dandy, as that is what I am after, but there's one problem, well at least it's a problem for me.. they are all from out of state..
 
So my question is, how does one have this type of relationsip long distance ?
 
I cant imagine how you would do it, really live it and enjoy it to its fullest, if the other person is far far away and not accessible for human touch..


Untilyou,
You have said you need, desire  accessible for human touch.
If you desire and need that, then you already know where to look.
Been there, done that.... but I am not you.
hugs

(in reply to UNTILYOU)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: GOING THE DISTANCE - 10/7/2006 1:56:08 PM   
diz


Posts: 1076
Joined: 9/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UNTILYOU

 I am wondering if someone, preferably a Dom, or even a sub if she has experienced this, if someone could help me out on this question..
 
I am getting alot of Doms approaching me interms of getting to know me for a Dom / sub realtionship,  which is all fine and dandy, as that is what I am after, but there's one problem, well at least it's a problem for me.. they are all from out of state..
 



So my question is, how does one have this type of relationsip long distance ?
 
I cant imagine how you would do it, really live it and enjoy it to its fullest, if the other person is far far away and not accessible for human touch..



Untilyou, i think the answer lies inside of you and with the One you connect to, obsticles can be over come, i have in the past had a relationship M/s with someOne who lived 5 minutes away from me and it did not work amazingly enough He could not find time to be with me.... a year later i realised it was not to be,sometime on i have  now  entered into a relationship with One who lives roughly 2 hours from me, the friendship is strong and W/we are always there for each other and right now it is good.... what will stand in O/our way in time only remains to be seen, but i have such close contact on a daily basis that i am happy and satisfied with what i have right now. Personally  go exploring options and do not refuse to get to know anyone straight off, be happy, make friends with A/all and follow your instincts...

i wish you luck  :)

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RE: GOING THE DISTANCE - 10/7/2006 1:59:45 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
it can be done... it's not easy... every relationship will have it's on unique challenges and requirements.  Some will beable to do it... some will not.  The How to do it first starts with... Are you Committed to Doing it!!?

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: GOING THE DISTANCE - 10/8/2006 10:26:54 AM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

Well, the good thing about Long Distance is that it gives you more chat time and talk on the phone in getting to know them. Hopefully, honesty is always there. Eventually, you're going to have to meet. Make yourself a six month rule. If you can't seem to see each other in six months or less, then the relationship will most likly not go anywhere. No one can just wait and waste there time on someone who can start something online from out of state, but can't push it forward with a physical visitation.

No one should spark an interest with someone out of there area unless they have the ability to visit them in the near future. It's a lack of responsibility to do so. If they just can't visit you, then they never meant to meet you in the first place. There is something they are hiding and they most likly just want you on there Chat List of subs to get off to in there Internet Fantasy Life. 

Very good advice right there. Best of luck

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

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