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Collar Me! - 10/3/2006 9:47:41 PM

hypnoticblue

Posts: 130
Joined: 9/20/2006
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How do you go about becoming collared by a dom? Do you wait for them to ask you? Or do you ask them? Or is it possible for either one of those things to happen?

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RE: Collar Me! - 10/3/2006 10:06:31 PM

Owned1

Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
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There is no one answer to this question. It depends on the dynamics between the Dom and the sub/slave. Some Dominants will only collar one when they ask for it, others will offer it, and yet for others it is a mutual decision.

Owned

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~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to hypnoticblue)

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RE: Collar Me! - 10/4/2006 5:51:19 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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The way it worked for us is that he knew damn near immediately I was the right one. He offered the collar after just a couple of months and I deferred because I didn't know how it could work ldr. He explained, and overcame my worries and I accepted.

Now there are doms out there who expect the sub to petition, they ought to explain that and should they don't, the sub needs to ask the specific person how it works with him./her.

(in reply to Owned1)

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RE: Collar Me! - 10/4/2006 7:53:52 AM

hypnoticblue

Posts: 130
Joined: 9/20/2006
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what do you mean petition?

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RE: Collar Me! - 10/4/2006 8:01:30 AM

gypsylee

Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline

i dunno how i did it, but try this:

put on best sub gear possible.

locate collar.

pick up collar in teeth.

crawl to Dom.

kneel at His feet.

make puppy-like whining noises.

place collar at His feet and wait with head down.

*shrugs* worth a try...

_____________________________

You're one twisted fuck... Nup, I'm just an ordinary girl with nothin' to lose.

(in reply to Celeste43)

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RE: Collar Me! - 10/4/2006 8:14:31 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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My girl anne petitioned me, formally and in writing. I have, in the past, offered collars. Right now, for the initial consideration, they are expected to hand in the questionnaire, so they make the first move. For the Preliminary Collar, which is kinda what I see as a "let's see if this can work in a way where we are both committed to the relationship", I offer that. For the Contractual Collar, it is expected that the slave petition.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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(in reply to hypnoticblue)

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RE: Collar Me! - 10/4/2006 8:29:59 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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RE: Collar Me! - 10/4/2006 10:21:51 AM

Voltare

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
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Like suggested, approach it like you would any other type of relationship. Some women expect to be asked for marriage, others refuse to just wait. Discussing the collar, what it means, and what is expected are great places to start. If the collar is just a play device, then obviously it won't require the same weight and heaviness that a 'full' collar/relationship collar might (the equivalent of marriage according to many lifestylers.) The collar represents, usually, a very personal and individual type of committment. Decide what it means for you, find out what it means to your partner, and from there you can decide, together, the when, why, and how of it all.

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: Collar Me! - 10/4/2006 12:11:57 PM

DivaDuchess

Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
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For Our house ... the slave earns the collar. I will let the slave know when they have accomplished that.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to Voltare)

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RE: Collar Me! - 10/5/2006 11:23:19 AM

teamnoir

Posts: 226
Joined: 4/5/2005
From: San Francisco Bay Area California
Status: offline

Either can work.

(in reply to hypnoticblue)

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RE: Collar Me! - 10/5/2006 9:32:43 PM

MistressMelissa

Posts: 226
Joined: 11/21/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hypnoticblue
How do you go about becoming collared by a dom? Do you wait for them to ask you? Or do you ask them? Or is it possible for either one of those things to happen?

Depends upon the protocol you follow.

In my house it is the slaves responsibility to beg my collar. Since they are the one surrendering their will to me, it is up to them to ask. By them having to beg me for my collar, they approach me of their own free will. It is then up to me to decide if they have earned the privilege of wearing my collar.

I only believe in one type of collar, that of ownership. Thus my collar is a physical promise of my commitment to them, as much as it is their promise to me.

_____________________________

Melissa
Mistress of Ds Haven
www.dshaven.com

The person who says it can not be done, should not interrupt the person doing it. - Ancient Wisdom

(in reply to hypnoticblue)

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RE: Collar Me! - 10/6/2006 11:12:14 AM

fckmeimirish

Posts: 27
Joined: 5/11/2006
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This is a great question ... especially for someone who is new because the answer will reveal some very important truths to you about this lifestyle. It has been touched upon above by many, but I want to put it into no uncertain terms. Everything here, as in the vanilla world revolves around our own unique individuality. No two Doms/Masters are the same to serve, or be collared by. Some Doms are more about protocol and ceremony, where others are more about simply having their whims attended to. Collaring is no different, for some it is a VERY formal practice, and for others it is simply a gift that has great meaning to the parties involved. Hell, for me, I don't use a collar like anyone else I know. Service is a mental, physical, and spiritual commitment made between a slave and I ... eye to eye ... person to person ... so while I always respect the customs of others ... I personally don't believe that an inanimate object is worthy of carrying all of sanctity of that agreement ... that is to be carried in your heart ... so I use a collar when I take a slave out into the public ... it is a reminder to her that her behavior is to be appropriately modified in public from what is normally acceptable in my home. I like my girls to act like complete and utter sex animals in my home ... they are to seduce, seduce, seduce ... me or anyone else who comes through the door to satiate their own slave-needs ... that, for legal and safety reasons, is not an acceptable way to behave in public so I put the collar on as a symbol of restraint. Rather than using a chastity belt for physical prevention, this is a form of mental bondage that works very well for me and my girls. You should see the anticipation in their eyes when they hear the keys jingle and they know its time to play once more. So to make my point, every single individual will have their own methods, so don't worry so much about the ceremonial and protocol aspects of things until you actually find someone that you wish to serve ... then you just mold yourself to them and learn what that individual expects of you. If they are not good at being clear in their expectations, they're probably not going to be too good at Domming either as that is crucial to their success.

(in reply to MistressMelissa)

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RE: Collar Me! - 10/6/2006 8:18:09 PM

hypnoticblue

Posts: 130
Joined: 9/20/2006
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Well, I have to say that ya'll are right about one thing... everyone is different... I appreciate all the comments that you guys have made. You've answered my questions perfectly. :)

(in reply to fckmeimirish)

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RE: Collar Me! - 10/6/2006 8:33:37 PM

Angeleyes1993

Posts: 6
Joined: 10/5/2006
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depends on the dom.

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RE: Collar Me! - 10/10/2006 5:08:45 AM

DivaDuchess

Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
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Hmmm ... interesting, perhaps a bit more detail.

When stated that they work for the collar ... they do, very hard. There are two collars in Our home. Both are earned, only one is begged for. The first collar is more a 'training collar', it's very plain with no name or adornment. The second one is when the slave feels he/she has earned it. It has his/her name along with my Crest engraved on it. Depending on the slave, it is either metal or leather. That one, the House Collar, the slave must beg for it ... for instance:

1. crawl on his/her hands and knees (clothed)
2. keep his/her head bowed, no eye contact
3. use teeth only to pick up and carry collar.
4. crawl with collar and lay it at My feet
5. keeping head bowed, remove clothing
6. kneel with knees spread and arms and hands down, palms facing out, keeping head bowed.
7. remain in that position while I consider his/her attitude

If I feel that he/she has shown the proper obediance, attitude and actions, I will pick up the collar and order him/her to their pallet. They will crawl, naked to their pallet (usually on the floor in the laundry room while training). Kneel again, this time face down, arms out, palms towards the ground. If I have decided they have earned the House Collar, I will tap their right shoulder. If I don't feel they have earned the House Collar ... *lol* ... that's for me to know and the slave to find out.

Just My way of doing things. My Husband does not normally provide a collar, I do. Though there have been times when affection has pushed Him to give one when it has been earned. In Our home, though, I am the Primary Owner.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to Angeleyes1993)

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RE: Collar Me! - 10/10/2006 8:49:53 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsylee

i dunno how i did it, but try this:

put on best sub gear possible.

locate collar.

pick up collar in teeth.

crawl to Dom.

kneel at His feet.

make puppy-like whining noises.

place collar at His feet and wait with head down.

*shrugs* worth a try...

Yep! that'd work for Me!

HalloweenWhite.

(in reply to gypsylee)

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Post #: 16

RE: Collar Me! - 10/10/2006 9:22:10 AM

gypsyssoul

Posts: 127
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Balti., Maryland, living in Summerville SC
Status: offline

reminds me of the saying ..

different strokes for different folks ..

but i agree ..

there must be someone you are interested in

discuss it with them . . perhaps the answer awaits with a few simple words

~~blessings and best of luck

_____________________________

~~"I have always sought this other side, but like a flame I dare not touch, For like forbidden fruits of wild .. just one taste would be to much"...
~~ blessed be

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)

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RE: Collar Me! - 10/10/2006 12:55:59 PM

DivaDuchess

Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

If you have been a good sub/slave and have followed your Master's orders and directions ... there should be no reason you haven't come close to earning one. Kneel and beg ...

Good luck to you.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to gypsyssoul)

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Post #: 18

RE: Collar Me! - 10/12/2006 7:05:37 AM

hypnoticblue

Posts: 130
Joined: 9/20/2006
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Oh, I finally earned it ;)

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RE: Collar Me! - 10/12/2006 9:09:49 AM

NYMaster101

Posts: 107
Joined: 7/11/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hypnoticblue

How do you go about becoming collared by a dom? Do you wait for them to ask you? Or do you ask them? Or is it possible for either one of those things to happen?

There is no simple answer to that. You will both know when the time is right. Every couple is different. For me it would be something of a turn-off for a sub to ask for a collar. However, a hint now and then would not be unreasonable.

(in reply to hypnoticblue)

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Post #: 20