what to do (Full Version)

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Angeleyes1993 -> what to do (10/5/2006 6:25:12 PM)

I have been seeing this man for about two years now and he recentally got married, his wife is bisexual and I have slept with her a couple of times, but really all I want is this man, which claims to be a master, I feel in love with him hard, which in turn broke up my marriage of 12 years, he wants me to give up any other men besides him and his wife plus now I have to pull teeth just for him to pay attention to me, what do you think I should do, just keep going with the flow, or just let him go



Owned1 -> RE: what to do (10/5/2006 6:57:25 PM)

This is a decision you have to make, however lets look at the history.  You have been with him, you left your marriage, he wants you to leave all other men ~~ yet he get married.

Have you and he discussed having a poly relationship?  Perhaps that is his plan and he has or has not informed you.  The Ethical Slut is a good read, it may assist you in this situation.

As I said at the end of the day you have to make the decision however as it stands you will always be the beta or second in his life.  Is that enough for you?

Owned



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: what to do (10/5/2006 6:58:56 PM)

Is the wife fully aware of the connection between you both?

Why does it take so much energy to get attention from him?

Have you swapped one needy clingy situation for another because you don't feel you deserve or can give yourself a true sense of fulfillment?



MagiksSlave -> RE: what to do (10/5/2006 7:12:53 PM)

Well seeing as he got married AFTER beeing in a relationship with you I think that shows a lot of where he places you in his life. (no offence or anything) it is rather aparent from that alone that you will never be first or he would have married you not this other girl... he must feel great though haveing gotten you to leave your marraige this shows your devotion to him even if he dont have the same for you he will treat you how ever you let him. Ask yourself do you always want to be his last priority??

Magik's slave



Focus50 -> RE: what to do (10/6/2006 3:42:19 AM)

Hi and welcome to the Forums... [:)]
 
There's so many possibilities here that I'm gonna take the simplest approach. 

"Okham's Razor" is like a formula or guideline for solving mysteries and states (more or less): All things being equal, the simplest, most logical explanation will be the solution.
 
Known facts:
He married her, not you.  And he's not even paying you much attention anymore.
 
Toss in an old proverb: "Actions speak louder than words!"  That also includes lack of action....
 
I think you should let him go.  But there is a glimmer of hope (or potential for further misery) in that he may still be enjoying the "honeymoon period" with her.  As for your own marriage, I can't help thinking that is was on the way out anyway, or you wouldn't have been exploring "greener pastures"?
 
Focus.



unownedredhead -> RE: what to do (10/6/2006 4:07:07 AM)

I have to back Focus50 on this one.  A good Dom takes care of all his girls.  You are not being taken care of.........you are being taken advantage of.  



FangsNfeet -> RE: what to do (10/6/2006 4:26:11 AM)

What to do?

Stop being stupid. You know what's going on. You know you are being played like a Yo Yo for his gratification. Stop being an idiot and move on. You know the relationship is not going to work out. What advice would you give a good friend of yours who said they were in the same situation?

Come on, surely you aren't dumb enough to know what not to do.



Tikkiee -> RE: what to do (10/6/2006 5:26:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Angeleyes1993

I have been seeing this man for about two years now and he recentally got married, his wife is bisexual and I have slept with her a couple of times, but really all I want is this man, which claims to be a master, I feel in love with him hard, which in turn broke up my marriage of 12 years, he wants me to give up any other men besides him and his wife plus now I have to pull teeth just for him to pay attention to me, what do you think I should do, just keep going with the flow, or just let him go

I think you already have your answer. [:)]



unownedredhead -> RE: what to do (10/6/2006 6:19:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet   Stop being stupid.


*standing and applauding*
  
dina



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: what to do (10/6/2006 7:16:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: unownedredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet   Stop being stupid.


*standing and applauding*
 
dina

See now when *I* make an answer like that, people tell me I'm being too harsh and cynical and always go for the quick and mean answer.



raiken -> RE: what to do (10/6/2006 7:48:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: unownedredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet   Stop being stupid.


*standing and applauding*

dina

See now when *I* make an answer like that, people tell me I'm being too harsh and cynical and always go for the quick and mean answer.


Some folks can't handle the direct approach...



raiken -> RE: what to do (10/6/2006 7:49:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Hi and welcome to the Forums... [:)]
 
There's so many possibilities here that I'm gonna take the simplest approach. 

"Okham's Razor" is like a formula or guideline for solving mysteries and states (more or less): All things being equal, the simplest, most logical explanation will be the solution.
 
Known facts:
He married her, not you.  And he's not even paying you much attention anymore.
 
Toss in an old proverb: "Actions speak louder than words!"  That also includes lack of action....
 
I think you should let him go.  But there is a glimmer of hope (or potential for further misery) in that he may still be enjoying the "honeymoon period" with her.  As for your own marriage, I can't help thinking that is was on the way out anyway, or you wouldn't have been exploring "greener pastures"?
 
Focus.


Ah i have to go with Focus50 on this as well.



Arpig -> RE: what to do (10/6/2006 10:17:18 AM)

The reason some of us can get away with blunt answers and you can't is simple: some of us are usually jerks & assholes (and I include myself in that group), and you generally aren't.



prettykittie -> RE: what to do (10/6/2006 10:22:57 AM)

Drop him like a bad habit!!!he is using you...not in a happy,fun kinda way either

"I am very good at giving advice,but i very seldom follow it."
Alice from Alice in Wonderland..[;)]



Mavis -> RE: what to do (10/6/2006 11:33:32 AM)

Aside from the stated obvious that this isn't working really well for you, also consider that If you try to join them in a poly triad, eventually you will find yourself doing the "position jockey."

you've already said "I have slept with her a couple of times, but really all I want is this man"   so the entire GOAL of joining them would be to eventually "win Him" and cut her out.   If you take that track, you'll surely loose Him anyway.  

He's gone.  Don the black veil for a while, then move on. 



raiken -> RE: what to do (10/6/2006 11:39:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mavis

Aside from the stated obvious that this isn't working really well for you, also consider that If you try to join them in a poly triad, eventually you will find yourself doing the "position jockey."

you've already said "I have slept with her a couple of times, but really all I want is this man"   so the entire GOAL of joining them would be to eventually "win Him" and cut her out.   If you take that track, you'll surely loose Him anyway.  

He's gone.  Don the black veil for a while, then move on. 


Yup and i have to add another area of thought to this situation...it doesn't feel good when you know the other slave involved sees you as just being in the way...  If his wife begins to feel this way, if she hasn't already...shit will fly, be forewarned!  You will loose...



FangsNfeet -> RE: what to do (10/6/2006 2:36:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

See now when *I* make an answer like that, people tell me I'm being too harsh and cynical and always go for the quick and mean answer.


See, I have a Master in Ass Hole wraping up my Thorsintisis where as you are still working on being a Certified Bitch. A little more time and you'll get there.  



Angeleyes1993 -> RE: what to do (10/6/2006 3:06:06 PM)

i see all of your points and have been thinking of a reply, too much shit has been thrown at me that i feel like killing myself.



SirMoi -> RE: what to do (10/6/2006 4:03:10 PM)

This man does not fit the description of 'Master' in any way and, if he sees himself as one, you'd be well off to RUN in the opposite direction. Your present course will only lead to disappointment and heartbreak for you.



redpetals -> RE: what to do (10/6/2006 4:08:45 PM)

we don't have to say it..it's in your gut or you wouldn't be here asking



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