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Help out a newbie - 10/6/2006 12:43:06 AM

bslinma

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/5/2006
Status: offline

I am new to the lifestyle. After reading stories and things of the such it was almost like I felt a "calling" ... not to sound weird, but it was like "Yeah, that's it ... that's what I want to be". So I have decided that I want to become a pleasure slave and I want to find a mistress or a couple that will train me to their likings. I am just wondering how to go about that. I have posted my profile on here, but other then this site (which I am so happy to have found) I don't seem to be able to find ligit sites. I have slao noticed that unless you know someone it's difficult to be accepted into the lifestyle.

Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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RE: Help out a newbie - 10/6/2006 2:03:49 AM

MissDiandSirHugh

Posts: 1158
Joined: 8/11/2005
From: Goondiwindi ( Qld )
Status: offline

Welcome bslinma some of the best things you can use are patience and time to both keep exploring your feelings and understand your self also to just look around the site and see what there is here,read the profiles fully so that you understand what that person or persons are looking for and then decide if they are seeking what you have to offer before makeing any contact.
If you do find you and they are very compatable then send a message introduceing your self as much as you cna with out beign rude or just a one line message and not a copy of your profile but about you as a person.
Not knowing your country or where you are in it We can not say to go and find a group that may be in your area but if some one does tell you Our advice is to find out when they meet and introduce your self to them as they will indeed make you welcome and let you also feel that you are not alone in the life style plus try to help you in every way they can.

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HoRoo for now from Us both and enjoy all you read even if you don"t agree with us or others.
Knowledge is no Burden to Carry

(in reply to bslinma)

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RE: Help out a newbie - 10/6/2006 2:27:52 AM

patina

Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
From: no
Status: offline

I welcome you too, I am reasonably new also but have been on here and been on enough dating sites to know that you will first go through the dweebs of crud. So take it easy and spend the next few weeks or months just learning all about the lifestyle. If you see a post you really like check out that persons profile or when you check out a profile see if they have posted any. Just go slow, and have fun make friends. If have any question you can contact me and I will do what I can to help. mainly just a shoulder to lean on

Patina.

_____________________________

a diamond in the rough

(in reply to bslinma)

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RE: Help out a newbie - 10/6/2006 2:39:24 AM

DivaDuchess

Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

bslinma ... Hmmm, okay you JUST logged in. Have you heard the term ... Patience is a virtue. Your profile is well thought out. You do narrow your choice by being unwilling to relocate, but that's not a terrible thing. You answered the question many Mistresses may ask, but you missed one ... why?

You might try posting a picture or perhaps lightening the wording up a bit. For instance, do you have a hobby? Do you like to camp? There are also other sites besides this one that cater to the lifestyle. There are also others that 'accept' it. Keep plugging away and be ... Patient.

Duchess

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to patina)

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RE: Help out a newbie - 10/6/2006 6:23:15 AM

Amaros

Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DivaDuchess

You might try posting a picture or perhaps lightening the wording up a bit. For instance, do you have a hobby? Do you like to camp? There are also other sites besides this one that cater to the lifestyle. There are also others that 'accept' it. Keep plugging away and be ... Patient.

Definitely, be patient, don't rush into anything - as for sposting picture, it's nice, but there are two schools of thought on this - soembody who isn't hung up on appearence will respond anyway, I'm guessing you're already swamped with offers.

The other school of thought is, that if you're honest about your height, weight, appearence, etc., you'll weed out anybody merely looking to accessorize - if that's your thing, fine, but typically, you want somebody who will see you as a whole person, that's my advice.

It really depends on what you want, so take your time, ask questions, follow your heart.

(in reply to DivaDuchess)

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RE: Help out a newbie - 10/6/2006 7:09:57 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Wait 6 months before you make a commitment to anything.

My advice for Novice Female Submissives

Newbie!

At a loss

I'm a new domme seeking advice

Does a slave also have to be a fool?

sub: totally new concept

Questions for other newbies

The Journey

Starting Out

New to the Life, Help

How to deal?

Request for Advice

Advice please: Relationships, bdsm, love and boundaries

First time sub seeking you advice- how to find the right master?

First time sub seeking advice

a newbie seeking advice

How can I be a great sub?

Brand new life

Help needed

Emotional Rollercoaster

Welcoming newbies

New to this

Just a few questions

Do's and Dont's

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to bslinma)

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RE: Help out a newbie - 10/6/2006 7:19:52 AM

TxBadMan

Posts: 198
Joined: 4/7/2006
From: Moody, Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bslinma

I am new to the lifestyle. After reading stories and things of the such it was almost like I felt a "calling" ... not to sound weird, but it was like "Yeah, that's it ... that's what I want to be". So I have decided that I want to become a pleasure slave and I want to find a mistress or a couple that will train me to their likings. I am just wondering how to go about that. I have posted my profile on here, but other then this site (which I am so happy to have found) I don't seem to be able to find ligit sites. I have slao noticed that unless you know someone it's difficult to be accepted into the lifestyle.

Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Get involved in your local scene; read as much as you can; and ask questions. The only stupid question is the one that is never asked

Above ALL else though, take your time and enjoy the journey.

_____________________________

Chris

(in reply to bslinma)

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RE: Help out a newbie - 10/6/2006 7:28:26 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Everyone has their own defination of a sub or slave. Yes they can both be collared.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

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RE: Help out a newbie - 10/7/2006 12:51:12 AM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

Enjoy the journey, have patience, be careful, and read, read, read. And when you are finished reading find more to read! Then if you still believe this is who you are make sure you meet any local or not so local groups. I did not find it difficult to be accepted and actually have met some wonderful folks here. Good luck!!!

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

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RE: Help out a newbie - 10/7/2006 5:34:40 AM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

To the Op: welcome to collarme, and to BDSM in general. May i add a caution? i was very fortunate to have a Mentor Who taught me a great deal about what various practices were, kept me safe, and generally was my shoulder to lean on. i feel very blessed and will always be in His debt.

On the other hand, i have from time to time received email from members who offered to "train" me to be a submissive. Like you, i identify as a pleasure subby. It was never clear what these training offers entailed....but some seemed to include an extended visit to the Trainer's home, where He would give me instruction in person. Frankly, i took this to include having "play" and sex with Him. It's just not my bag to sleep with a Man outside a committed relationship.

i cannot tell you how to find a good Mentor, but if you do a search on these forums, the subject of Mentoring has been discussed several times before, and you might enjoy reading some of those threads.

Lastly, listen to your own instincts and adhere to reasonable safety precautions, i implore you. i myself did not have clue one when i first came here and have taken unnecessary risks. i would not want you to have to go through all sorrow i have.

pinkee

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)

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RE: Help out a newbie - 10/7/2006 7:05:44 AM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

All good responses, but can I second (or maybe it's THIRD by now) the one about patience? It's very important.

I got an email from a sub and responded a day or two later. The next day he responded by thanking me for taking the time to respond, but he was "under consideration for a collar" now. This was on Sept 21. I checked his profile and he'd set up his profile on Sept 15th!!!! In six days he was considering a collar! Well about a week later he emailed me back and said he'd been scammed. He bought this Mistress about $200 in toys and then she disappeared. Well he didn't seem to learn from his mistake because he's already begging to kneel at my feet when we've only exchanged a few emails. If I was so inclined I could probably get a couple hundred in toys too.

Another bit of good advice (already mentioned) is to get involved in your local scene. I was very reluctant for a long time because I was just too nervous. It was very imtimidating to meet so many people for the first time, all with some knoweldge and understanding of a subject I was so completely clueless about. But, after hanging out here for about a year I went to my first Munch and then to a couple of parties. It was a real eye opener. I learned MUCH faster when I met people in person than I ever could have online. I was finally able to understand so much about the dynamic when I saw couples interact, heard scenes negotiated, saw play etc... than I ever could have gotten by reading online.

Check for local groups and contact them. See if they can introduce you to one or two people who will be willing to stick by you at your first few functions and make introductions. In my case the woman who ran one of the local groups did this for me and it made the transition much easier.

Good Luck

TN

(in reply to pinkee)

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