Advice/Help/Vent

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tixarah -> Advice/Help/Vent (10/6/2006 1:12:04 AM)
So mostly this is just a vent because really i dont know what else to do at this point... Im 21 years old, and lost my job about a month ago, i was laid off due to cutbacks in the company, lovely eh....so i went from a steady good income, to nothing, i looked and looked and finally found a job major wage deduction though and am starting work again in a week....heres my issue though, i didnt have savings, ive been paying off student loands and my credit card and making rent i live alone and all my bills and such, and didnt have a savings yet....i dont hve anything and i havent paid octobers rent, plus my bills are due, and i owe just about 1300 dollars in bills right now and have absolutely nothing and no one i can ask for help as my family just gets by...my mother is disabled and my father has a wife that spends more then they make......i just dont know what to do or who to turn to...so im just....venting now..sighs...thanks for listening whoevers out there in cyber land....sorry for the vent

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Advice/Help/Vent (10/6/2006 1:24:53 AM)
I'm sorry you're going through this Tixarah, but take heart that a lot of people are having incredible difficulty as well. Only thing I can say is prioritize and pay rent so you'll have a place to sleep, and if not, call mom/friends and ask if you can stay with her/them for a few weeks. Good luck, M

Nikolette -> RE: Advice/Help/Vent (10/6/2006 1:58:13 AM)
Its so unfortunate that so many people have to live paycheck to paycheck. I'd go with the previous suggestion. The common sense thing is RENT first. If you are homeless you have absolutely nothing to work with. You can easily live a couple months behind rent, and since you do have a job you will be able to manage that. Now might be a good time to cut back on expenses. I don't know how you are living, but when I was on a severely fixed income I cut back to the extent that I had no cable, one house line, no internet, and ate extremely cheaply. I have never had a credit card since I didn't want to get into a debt cycle- so that might be something to avoid in the future when you don't have a lot of disposable income. (Not critisizing, just offering up my own philosophy). I didn't really spend any extra money on anything and looked only for what was free/discount to do for fun. You'd be shocked at the many ways you can find to cut out excess spending. Additionally if you are in a lower income bracket you might be elegable for food stamps, which would help cut another expense. Its not a long term solution, but a short term aid. Don't feel bad or guilty, or like its a hand out. The taxes you have already been paying go to fund that, and other government aid and grants, and if you view it as what is meant to be ASSISTANCE, not something to be dependant on- it can really be a help. Good luck with this. My best friend is going through something similar, only she is also a single mother. Its sort of like that Jewish story about the guy who goes to god and complains about how his house is loud and and chaotic and he wants god to fix it... so god tells him to bring in the cattle from the barn. .. he does but its no solution- he goes back to god and asks "What were you thinking, that didn't solve anything, help me make this better, I'll do anything." so god tells him to add all the rest of his barn animals- the man comes back again, still needing help- so god tells him to invite his neighbors in, and their animals. The house is packed full. He can't sleep, he can't eat... he is totally miserable. So he goes back to god, totally distressed. He says "I just can't take this one more day. Its driving me CRAZY" ... God tells him. Okay. send home your neighbors and their animals and put yours back into the barn. The man does this and revels in just how very perfect his situation was from the begining. So that was a big digression but its one of my favorite little stories on how to find some peace in what I presently have to work with. [:)]

MistressMaamNH -> RE: Advice/Help/Vent (10/6/2006 2:03:44 AM)
Get a second part-time job and put that money into paying down your bills and/or savings so you can get ahead. A LOT of people work more than just 40 hrs a week. It may not be a lot of money, but places like McDonald's and grocery stores are always hiring and often have very accomodating hours. MMNH

meatcleaver -> RE: Advice/Help/Vent (10/6/2006 2:33:51 AM)
Yep, it sucks. Despite all the sentimentality in the media about what a great society you live in, just remember when you get back on your feet, how many people suffer in a 'sink or swim' society. I'm sure you'll get out of it but internalise your experience and let it inform your politics, especially when those politicians keep telling you what a great society you live in. I never forgot my first experience of being in the shit and I've always refused the political propaganda of what a great society we live in.

swtsouthernsub -> RE: Advice/Help/Vent (10/6/2006 3:17:04 AM)
Sorry to hear your in such a perdicament i agree with the others pay rent first, apply for food stamps if nothing else go to your community churches that have food pantries, as well as other places that may help pay sm all utilities ,electric bills, gas heating and such lived in a car for 2 months so i know where your coming from it will get better for the lord only puts on us only what we can handle and he will carry it the rest of the way good luck you'll be in my thoughts

Kedicat -> RE: Advice/Help/Vent (10/6/2006 3:47:52 AM)
Been there done that. It does pass. It does not go on forever. Seemed like it at the time. It sucked. Have to scrape and put up with the folks screaming for there money. It just takes time. So far we don't have debtor prison. Cut back as much as you can. ( sucks ) Checkout the consumer debt help places. ( NOT quickie loans!!) They can help put some stuff like student loans on hold for a bit, sometimes without penalties. If you don't cut a deal with some creditors, the interest can pile up huge! But some will give a break, especially if an official agency makes the request. I got through it all. Paid everyone off in full. Been doing great for decades. Don't be too pissed at the folks bugging you for the bills. It's their job or their much needed cash too. Don't let the creeps pressure you. Check your rights to not be unreasonably harrassed by bill collectors. It passes. Then new bad times take it's place. Variety is the spice of life [:D]

Kedicat -> RE: Advice/Help/Vent (10/6/2006 3:51:49 AM)
Of course there is always the option of hidden indentured slave. Dissappear into some Doms dungeon....

cuddleheart50 -> RE: Advice/Help/Vent (10/6/2006 3:54:44 AM)
I have been there too, and still am most of the time, so I understand how you feel. I just take one day at a time, the bills will wait, they have too...they can't get blood from a turnip. [:D]

tixarah -> RE: Advice/Help/Vent (10/6/2006 4:20:54 AM)
thanks E/everyone....its nice knowing im not alone......I know rent comes first, but its hard to pay rent when ive gone...0 in my bank lol, im going to try and talk to my mom tomorrow and see what togethter we can get together, the biggest issue is that my step fathers name is on my lease too..so they dont wnt him going down because of me.. Funny You mention the dungeon Kedicat...i got a "job" offer to be this guys slave for 3 grand a month....it was a little sketchy and far from home though, so kindly denied the request.... again thank you all for listening to my vent....i needed it

Owned1 -> RE: Advice/Help/Vent (10/6/2006 6:49:28 AM)
I think the option not to be someones slave for 3 grand a month was a very prudent one. Without knowing anything that sounds much more than sketchy. If you can speak to your landlord and explain what is happening, let them know you will eventually pay the rent, perhaps set up a payment plan. Once you have an income again set up a payment plan with all your creditors even if it is 10$ a week, generally if you are showing some good faith and making some payments they will understand. As well it usually stops the incessant phone calls for your money. Use this as a wake up call to never let yourself get in this spot again. Consider savings a bill you must pay monthly in case of just this type of situation. Again even if you put 10$ a week away it is amazing how fast it will add up when you are not touching it. Great suggestions already made on how to cut corners. This is the time to look at what is a necessity and what is a want. For example take out is a want, cooking in is always cheaper. All the best, you will make it through to the other side Owned

pinkee -> RE: Advice/Help/Vent (10/6/2006 7:28:10 AM)
To the Op: speaking the landlord is a great idea, but unless you can pay 2xs the rent in November, don't make any promises you cannot keep. Pay the utilities as well, if they will not allow you to fall behind a month or two. Then consider a 5 year plan (i know, sounds silly, but it's necessary). Maybe you need a degree in s''thing that pays well and is very secure. 21 is young to be on your own. Please feel free to email me on the other side, if i can be of any help. pinkee

RiotGirl -> RE: Advice/Help/Vent (10/6/2006 7:46:03 AM)
you know, my mother always tells me that she never had bad credit. Because when she had money problems, she would WRITE (or call) the companies and explain her situation and ask for some sort of payment plan until she is back on her feet. i generally try and remind her that it was over 20 years ago and ppl arent that nice now a days. but its a suggestion

mnottertail -> RE: Advice/Help/Vent (10/6/2006 8:10:11 AM)
obviously, you must immediately file to defer student loans. Just think of the future and what an elegantly penny pinching sex slave you will be due to this course of experiences. Ron

stockingluvr54 -> RE: Advice/Help/Vent (10/6/2006 11:01:16 AM)
First off....been there many times myself....things will change! The key word here is "change". Change usually comes form inspiration or desperation...your case desperation. You need more dough...ok. Money is all over the place in this country...everyone has some. All you have to do is figure out a service or product to sell to pry them away from a few coins. It's actually quite easy if you're willing to work at it. Here's a little story that'll sum it up nicely and something you might even consider to help bail you out of the cash dilema you're in. I have a personal friend that immiagrated here from Czech. She couldn't even hardly speak the language when she got here. She understands that the USA is the land of opportunity very well. Most Americans don't. Anyways....she started a cleaning service cleaning houses with just a vaccume cleaner and some rags and some cleaning products. She of course charged her customers by the hour and the dough was "under the table". She scrubbed and scrubbed and word got out about what a great job she did and more customers got lined up by word of mouth. Now she starts getting buisnesses calling her and she does them at night. She's also had to hire help. She is rakin in the dough and now buying property and reselling but she still gets on her hands and knees and scrubs. She recently got her US citizenship and LOVES this country. She does well by anyones standards and it happened fast! Keep in mind that we (my friend and I) live in a very remote part of the mountains in Montana near a very small town so if it can be done here..it can be done anywhere..as long as you provide a good service and work. Anyways....if you need some quick dough..why not do exactly what she did and start a cleaning service? No real investment...a few cleaning supplies...an add in the paper...a few postings on the local bulletin board,etc. and that phone will start ringing! You do a GOOD job and WORK....and word will get out fast! I shit you not......you can make some fast money! Good luck......

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