RE: Three Catagories

RE: Three Catagories (Full Version)

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topcat -> RE: Three Catagories (1/22/2005 9:28:51 PM)
quote: All human beings possess categorical rules or scripts that they use to interpret the world. It’s called schematics and we all do it. When we see a creature flying in the sky, our brain runs through a series of schematics and our first conclusion: “It’s a bird”. Then of course we try to zoom in on it to identify, it is a big bird, a small bird, a white bird, a black bird… all this information will help us categorise what kind of bird it is. Sometimes we are stumped and we cannot identify it. But we try. And it’s not out of mischief but rather out of our curious human nature. Milady A- brillant, blonde beauty- I have a strong urge to bite you. It is so good to see you back- when are you coming to NYC again? Stay warm, Lawrence

darkinshadows -> RE: Three Catagories (1/23/2005 4:31:48 AM)
labels are just small, insignificant scraps of cloth that help hold the bigger picture together, but are not the most important part of the garment. Are the needed? By some yes... others, have no need for them. A catergory is much larger... it is more like a grouping that includes different similarities. I am a submissive/slave/vampire/service orientated/pleasureslave/fulllimit/nolimit/consensual/shoe'n'footfetish/throatfetish with Sadistic tendancies... whatever Master WANTS kinda gal.... laughing Peace n love

Suleiman -> RE: Three different names! (1/24/2005 11:34:05 PM)
The labelling of SM is a difficult matter It isn't just one of your holiday games at first you may think me as mad as a hatter when I say that both sides have three different names! First there's the kind who don't like to play daily they think of SM as just bedroom games - such as Swingers or cyberkind black blue and paisley all of them sensible everyday names. There are fancier titles if you think they sound sweeter, some for dominants and some for the subs: such as bottoms or tops, players and kinkster but all of them sensible everyday names. But I tell you, a true perv needs a title particular a name that's particular and more dignified. How else can he keep his whip perpendicular, or lay out his clothespins, or cherish his pride? Of names of this kind I can give you a quorum, such as Slave, Goddess, Master, Lordling or Thrall More meaningful then just dom or mere bottom - Names that distinguish them from all other kinds. But above and beyond there's one label left over and that is the label you just can't define the name that no human research can discover peculiar to each of us, its origin divine. (With apologies to T S Eliot)

MadameDahlia -> RE: Three Catagories (1/25/2005 12:28:47 AM)
What’s in a name? that which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet; - Romeo A name is a name is a name... titles work the same way. Be who you feel like being. Be a Goddess... be a pony... be an alley cat... be a lady of the night, prowling the streets... be a potted plant if that's what rocks your socks. Live and let live.

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Three Catagories (1/25/2005 10:44:10 AM)
Oh my, I love this stuff. I am sure I have this on some old post somewhere on this site, but it is fun (and can be rewarding) to revisit it anew every once in a while. So here are my categories: Top/Bottom: This is my general classification of all BDSM relationships. Tops are generally the actors, while bottoms are generally the acted upon. The Top/Bottom dynamic can then be further broken down into the following sub-categories: Master/Servant: Top enjoys having services performed, bottom enjoys performing services. Think "Bruce Wayne and Alfred" or "The Stable Boy and Buttercup" Trainer/Slave: Top enjoys training, bottom enjoys being trained. Master/Slave: Top enjoys owning another as property, bottom enjoys being owned. Think "Story of O" Owner/Pet: Top enjoys owning another human as a pet (animal or human), bottom enjoys being owned as a pet. Big/little: Top enjoys the role of the caretaking adult, bottom enjoys being cared for as a child. Dominant/Submissive: Top enjoys displaying physical/mental dominance over another, bottom enjoys being physically/mentally dominanted. Think "rape scenes", "bondage scenes", and "wrestling scenes" Sadist/Masochist: Top enjoys causing pain, bottom enjoys pain. Most people have bits of all of these kinds of relationship desires in them, and it is not uncommon to find someone who likes to top in one dynamic and bottom in another. (For example, there are slaves who enjoy bottoming as a slave in a Master/slave relationship, yet also enjoy topping in a Trainer/slave relationship to newer slaves.) In addition, there are people who do not derive their pleasure from the relationship dynamic, but rather the acts themselves. I think of these as fetishists (think latex or feet) or sensualists. As always, YMMV, and so might mine. I have added quite a few thoughts since the last time I posted a reply to this kind of question, and I am sure my ideas will continue to change, grow, and evolve. Yours, Taggard

caitlyn -> RE: Three Catagories (1/25/2005 11:43:13 AM)
I prefer to classify myself using the Latin, "WIGTI TIMJR ITM", which stands for; "What I Got Talked Into, That I Might Just Regret, In The Morning." caitlyn

Suleiman -> RE: Three Catagories (1/25/2005 12:10:25 PM)
That's not really latin, though, is it? It's more of a very long acronym (of which, of course, the romans were very fond)

Suleiman -> RE: Three Catagories (1/25/2005 12:11:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia be a potted plant if that's what rocks your socks. DUDE!!! YOU DIG POTTED PLANTS, TOO?!?

caitlyn -> RE: Three Catagories (1/25/2005 3:12:41 PM)
My extensive research (three minutes on google) tells me that it's a rare strain of Latin, spoken by the Etruscans of the Po Valley, whom anthropologists have determined were the actual inventors of the BDSM lifestyle. Proof of this can be determined from pottery shards bearing images of various spanking activity, with inscription that loosely translate as, "Dat Po Girl!"

Envisioner -> RE: Three Catagories (12/29/2007 2:11:53 AM)
I'm a great believer in the power of labels. Myers-Brigg types, favorite colors, spiritual elements...all just ways of better understanding ourselves. No label can confine you, it can only define you so others may better understand the complex, multifaceted truth that is You. All that said, though, it helps to know what a label means to others, so I have this question. The distinction between Owner/Slave and Dom(ina)/Sub has been explored, but how would you distinguish Dom(ina)s from Tops and Subs from Bottoms? Collarme doesn't offer Top and Bottom labels, so how can I tell whether the "submissive" I'm talking to wants to be treated as a sub or a bottom (other than just asking her, which is the plan, but it'd be nice to go into the conversation forewarned)? For that matter, how can I tell whether I'm a Top or a Dom? Not understanding the labels well, I know only that I am Me.

topcat -> RE: Three Catagories (12/29/2007 6:17:45 AM)
Dude- you realise that you just chimed in on a conversation that ended nearly three years ago? Not that your post isn't a valued contribution, just that there must be a more recent thread on label and boxes around... I'm just sayin', yanno? Lawrence

DesFIP -> RE: Three Catagories (12/29/2007 8:18:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressFire70 To me, the most basic difference is this: subs and their Dominants have a limited power exchange. This limit may be in length of time (say a weekend) or in area of control (say total control over clothes but not food) or both. A slave, on the other hand, wants to surrender totally to a Master (gender neutral). A slave will only ever had one choice: to obey or not. Fire Unless of course the rules in their dynamic include not obeying if it will not be good for the s type or the relationship or any family member therein. Obedience is not his kink. Emotional transparency is. So if I obey but become angry and resentful I damage the relationship. If I don't do it, and I talk to him instead and we stop the anger and resentful then by disobeying one order, I have actually served the relationship better. We aren't all cookie cutter shapes, easily labeled. Some of us are multifaceted people.

Envisioner -> RE: Three Catagories (12/30/2007 5:46:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP We aren't all cookie cutter shapes, easily labeled. Some of us are multifaceted people. Of course we're not cookie cutters; to me a label is more like a decoration placed on a cake. You can write the word "Happy" and the word "Birthday" on a cake, but if you write them both, the recipient of the cake will be puzzled if it isn't their birthday. So if someone tells me they're a submissive when they're really looking to top from the bottom, then it's clear that there's a labelling failure involve; they should wear the correct label for what their kink is, and say outright, "I want to tell a man what to do to me" so that I don't waste my time on them, being that I want to be making the decisions (with general advance consent of course). I'm inclined to think it's a bit wasteful that the terms "top" and "dominant", or those "bottom" and "slave" are generally held to mean the same thing. I think a person who wants to direct every aspect of their treatment ought to be called a bottom, while one who wants to surrender their freedom to a trusted and loved partner to do as he wishes ought to be called a submissive. Similarly, a Top is just acting dominant for their partner's pleasure, while a Dom actually is dominant because that's their partner's pleasure. Of course, that's just my off-the-cuff opinion and I'm perfectly willing to be told why it's wrong, but if nobody sees any problem with it, it seems sensible to me.

anowner -> RE: Three Catagories (12/30/2007 7:24:49 AM)
Categorizing behaviors is something I do a lot. Categorizing people is something I do much less. These categories are pretty good first cuts, but life requires more subtlety. That said, caitlyn's category: quote: "What I Got Talked Into, That I Might Just Regret, In The Morning." is one I'm very fond of encountering. If she were a hundred miles or so closer, she'd be getting a mash note.

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