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sub or slave - 10/7/2006 5:19:03 AM   
sweetnsoftinpa


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline 		if a Master sets up a bank account for His sub, and puts money in the account so that she does not feel like she is asking for money from Him. does this make her a slave or is she still a sub? do Masters set up accounts for Their subs?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: sub or slave - 10/7/2006 5:45:59 AM   
pinkee


Posts: 487
Status: offline 		Gee golly...the sub vs. slave debate has sparked more threads than any other topic i remember.  As to your specific question, no, a submissive who is partially or fully supported financially by her Dom is not "instantly" turned into a slave. 
 
IMHO, the difference between a submissive and a slave boils down to this:  a submisssive has hard and soft limits, which the Dom has agreed to respect.  Hard limits may change, but the Doms always respects them.  Slaves, on the other hand, make a single decision:  to accept a collar from a Dom.  After that, slaves do whatever the Dom requires, without hesitation, regardless of any personal feelings on the matter.  A slave never refuses a Dom's instructions, and has no personal choice but one: to return the collar and leave the Dom.
 
BTW, please substitute Domme, Master, He, She etc. wherever appropriate to the above.
 
pinkee 

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
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RE: sub or slave - 10/7/2006 5:48:58 AM   
ayasha


Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline 		Having money of one's own does not affect whether a person is a submissive or a slave.  It is rather a ridiculous concept for them to not have access to money - what if something happened to Him?  Some Masters control their slaves spending, some do not - expecting them to use their own brain. 

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
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RE: sub or slave - 10/7/2006 5:53:04 AM   
sweetnsoftinpa


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline 		He does not want me to work when i move to Him. right now i do have a job and will be leaving it when i do move and i know that i will be losing that independance.

(in reply to ayasha)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: sub or slave - 10/7/2006 6:01:50 AM   
ayasha


Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnsoftinpa

He does not want me to work when i move to Him. right now i do have a job and will be leaving it when i do move and i know that i will be losing that independance.


smiles, there is nothing wrong with not working.  you can still have money in an account without it affecting whether you are submissive or a slave, even if you are allowed to spend it freely.  It should not matter whether it is money that you put in the account, or money that He put in the account.  Take it as a good sign that you will have access to some money, which some don't, and relax and enjoy your time together. 

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: sub or slave - 10/7/2006 6:07:13 AM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		sweetnsoft, sub or slave, it makes her a woman with access to an account, that's about it.   Think of it this way,  if a girlfriend shared an account with her boyfriend, does that make her his wife?  No.

The way they choose to handle money doesn't change the labels of their "positions" , nor does it change the type of relationship they have, it's just how they handle money.    

Good luck on your new relationship,  it sounds like He's providing a nice way for you to transition from apart to together.  i like it. Best wishes!

(in reply to ayasha)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: sub or slave - 10/7/2006 8:04:53 AM   
thisishis


Posts: 278
Joined: 5/11/2006
From: Southeastern MA
Status: offline 		Having or not having a job,
Having access to, or not, to money,
Having a collar, or not ..... none are automatic indicators of whether a person is a submissive or a slave.

The indicator of difference between a slave and a submissive:
The amount of 'say' that they have agreed to exercise, and the amount of 'power' that they have agreed to surrender to the dominant partner in the relationship.
AKA: The amount of power, or lack of ... which either will exercise in regard to choosing what they do, do not do, have access to, & do not..... vs the amlount of power which has been surrendered over to the dominant partner. 


submissive: The dominant partner exercises a good amount of power over any choices* regarding the submissive. The submissive maintains the right to negotiate/renegotiate choices made. Mutual & informed consent exists between the two at all times.

slave: The dominant partner exercises unlimited power over any choices* regarding the slave. The slave accepts the dominant partner's choices as their own. Mutual & informed consent exists between the two at all times.


*aside from and not to include limits, if any, which may have been agreed to between the two prior to any negotiating stages of the relationship



DISCLAIMER: These are 'rough' and/or very basic examples of the definitions (imo), with the understanding that any individual relationship may require greater detail in definition to provide further clarification, to some degree.

< Message edited by thisishis -- 10/7/2006 8:07:18 AM >

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RE: sub or slave - 10/7/2006 9:08:17 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		It has nothing to do with being a sub or a slave.....a slave is a sub who is considered a slave by herself and her dominant...a sub is a slave who is considered a sub by herself and her dominant, there is no other defining criteria....again NO OTHER DEFINING CRITERIA!

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(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: sub or slave - 10/7/2006 11:43:11 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnsoftinpa
if a Master sets up a bank account for His sub, and puts money in the account so that she does not feel like she is asking for money from Him. does this make her a slave or is she still a sub? do Masters set up accounts for Their subs?

The definition of a slave or sub is never defined by any particular action or deed, it's far more complex than that.

And yes, some masters set up accounts for their subs.

And some wives set up accounts for their husbands.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: sub or slave - 10/7/2006 12:04:48 PM   
amlonging


Posts: 153
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		and puts money in the account so that she does not feel like she is asking for money from Him. does this make her a slave or is she still a sub?

After reading your profile... I am going to assume that what is really confusing you is that he wishes some sort of financial control.
This is very scarey for a woman in your situation.  It is probably a part of you that you have always controlled.  And you hear that slaves give everything over to the dom, including finances, so a flag pops up in your brain.  A flag pops up cause you have made it perfectly clear you dont want to be a slave, whatever definition you have of that or you and the dom find yourself defining slave to be.
 
Talk to him about his motives for doing this for you.

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: sub or slave - 10/7/2006 12:17:17 PM   
Argentopal


Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline 		We have stopped trying to decide who/what I am and just be content that whatever it is, it works for us. I did accept that I would, to the best of my physical, mental and emotional ability do what is required of me.  All that said, Argent does not have the time nor inclination to micro-manage me.  I am given a set amount of money deposited inot my checking account at the first of each month.  I am to purchase food, beer, household supplies and whatever incidentals we need each month out of that account.  If I want personal items, that comes out as well, if I have enough left over.  If there is something special like a grandchild's birthday I may ask for an extra amount specifically for that.If Argent needs a large purchase of new clothing or something for a business trip I may tell him I need to use one of the credit cards and he will tell me the limit I may spend.  For something like his birthday or an anniversary I try to plan way ahead and make sure I have something left to keep to have to spend on a gift  for him.  When I owned my own business the income such as it was, was mine to put back into the business or keep or spend.
MsOpal

(in reply to amlonging)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: sub or slave - 10/7/2006 12:17:25 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

It has nothing to do with being a sub or a slave.....a slave is a sub who is considered a slave by herself and her dominant...a sub is a slave who is considered a sub by herself and her dominant, there is no other defining criteria....again NO OTHER DEFINING CRITERIA!


Sure there is.  You have to take a boulder and tie it to her waist, then throw her in a river.  If she floats she's a slave. If she sinks to the bottom she's a sub.

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: sub or slave - 10/7/2006 10:11:30 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Dang i think i sand to the bottom of the river!

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: sub or slave - 10/8/2006 12:40:57 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		How someone treats you doesn't define who you are...only you can define who you are.

Master


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(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: sub or slave - 10/8/2006 2:08:05 AM   
sweetnsoftinpa


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline 		i thank E/everyone for T/their input and i will talk to Him more.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: sub or slave - 10/8/2006 4:37:43 AM   
gypsylee


Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnsoftinpa

...do Masters set up accounts for Their subs?


i wish mine would. a gold creditcard account.

_____________________________

You're one twisted fuck... Nup, I'm just an ordinary girl with nothin' to lose.


(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: sub or slave - 10/8/2006 8:09:52 AM   
pyrobabe


Posts: 53
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		My Master likes to make an account for each sub/slave in case anything happens to him or if he/she part ways they aren't stranded. By each sub/slave I mean he's train many sub/slaves up to this point and he's done that for each one...

(in reply to gypsylee)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: sub or slave - 10/8/2006 8:10:45 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

It has nothing to do with being a sub or a slave.....a slave is a sub who is considered a slave by herself and her dominant...a sub is a slave who is considered a sub by herself and her dominant, there is no other defining criteria....again NO OTHER DEFINING CRITERIA!


Sure there is.  You have to take a boulder and tie it to her waist, then throw her in a river.  If she floats she's a slave. If she sinks to the bottom she's a sub.


ROFL..I believe this is a keeper!

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: sub or slave - 10/8/2006 9:48:25 AM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Sure there is.  You have to take a boulder and tie it to her waist, then throw her in a river.  If she floats she's a slave. If she sinks to the bottom she's a sub.

_____________________________

marie.

OMG LOL marie, I just spewed coffee all over my computer.

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 19
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