A few questions (Full Version)

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jnyblu -> A few questions (1/20/2005 11:33:58 PM)

Hello all. I'm new here and new to the lifestyle in general although I've always been very naturally dominant. I'd love to get some answers to a couple of questions.

1. What kind of things should I say to someone who's profile interests me when contacting them for the first time? Should I just send a simple, short note expressing interest and letting them know what about their profile I was attracted to?

2. Do potential subs/slaves contact doms often or is the dom expected to make first contact?

Also, I would love some feedback on my profile from others. I know it's a bit lengthy, but I wanted to be as honest as possible about exactly what I was looking for.

Should I give more detail about myself personally? Like my interests, hobbies, etc.?

Thanks to anyone with some advice.

-David




sweetpleaser -> RE: A few questions (1/21/2005 6:39:54 AM)

Your profile is very good. I don't believe it is too long and it expresses what you want well. Your pictures are great also. The only slight improvement could be to spell a couple words correctly but it's not imperative. As far as first contact goes, subs get bombarded with mail so you need to have yours stand out. Be honest and tell the person you liked their profile and hope you can be a match. Don't do a simple, "Hey, I like you, let's hook up" because it sounds like a troll. Be sincere. Women want sincerety. Good luck in your search (and keep us posted)



sub4hire -> RE: A few questions (1/21/2005 10:08:59 AM)

quote:

1. What kind of things should I say to someone who's profile interests me when contacting them for the first time? Should I just send a simple, short note expressing interest and letting them know what about their profile I was attracted to?

2. Do potential subs/slaves contact doms often or is the dom expected to make first contact?

Also, I would love some feedback on my profile from others. I know it's a bit lengthy, but I wanted to be as honest as possible about exactly what I was looking for.

Should I give more detail about myself personally? Like my interests, hobbies, etc.?



I'd be short and sweet. Honest and to the point. I get a lot of e-mails everyday. My profile is very short. It states I am here seeking friends. I think telling them exactly what part of their profile you liked is good. Most don't even take the time to read profiles. We get a lot of..."well it seems we have the same interests" When you ask what exact interest. They cannot tell you.

If I were seeking I'd definately be looking at profiles. I would'nt hesitate to send out an e0mail. I do that now when I see that someone is honest in one. Of course I only send it as a compliment and I make that perfectly clear.
It is hard to find a mate in the vanilla world. Let alone bringing your fetish's in trying to find one. I'd use every asset I had to find the right person for me.

I would'nt add to your pprofile your vanilla interests. Not even all of your lifestyle interests. Give them just enough to peak their curiosity. That way they have to ask. Communication is opened up. Never know, you may have so much more in common with a person once you start talking to them.

But first and foremost I'd be honest and straighforward. Know exactly what it is you are looking for. And go get it.



Manawyddan -> RE: A few questions (1/22/2005 5:55:25 AM)

quote:

I would'nt add to your profile your vanilla interests. Not even all of your lifestyle interests. Give them just enough to peak their curiosity. That way they have to ask. Communication is opened up. Never know, you may have so much more in common with a person once you start talking to them.


That rather depends on what sort of relationship one is hoping to form. After some horrific times at munches, I have zero interest in someone whose entire life seems to revolve around bdsm. Some assurance that they have something else in that head of theirs would make me much more likely to make contact.



topcat -> RE: A few questions (1/22/2005 6:45:16 AM)

M. David-

I'd say your profile is clear, well written, and honest, with good pictures- but I do think it is too long- save the detail of who/what you are seeking for email. As you are seeking a 24/7 relationship, I would throw in some bits about your more mundane interests, but again, be brief and general.

As to emails- I'd say it is likely that you have to make the first contact- again- be brief, clear and avoid any sort of 'let's get together' on the first message, EG;

Dear X-

I just came across your profile and wanted to drop a note to tell you that I liked your sense of humor/defintion of a master/big tits/spritual approch to BDSM/whatever.

Could you answer a question for me? I see you say that you 'cannot relocate' - does that mean ever, or just that you don't want to do it at the begining of a relationship?

good luck in your search,

David


Keep it short, simple, and give them a good opening to reply. I hate long email exchanges, but I think that putting too much time into a first contact is just a bad allocation of resources.


Stay warm,
Lawrence



FangsNfeet -> RE: A few questions (1/22/2005 3:28:22 PM)

1. It's not what you should say but what you shouldn't. Especialy with females. Things not to say or with opening one liners
1. you bitch let's fuck,
2. Do you swallow,
3. Hello there slut, I'm your Daddy,

etc etc etc... Sometimes these one liners work, but do you really want someone who replies back to those messages?

Try things such as "Greetings, I've read your profile and you're someone who seems to be what I'm looking for. I'd like to hear from you so that we may chat and get to know each other and see where things can go. After all, I will be naughty and nice. I want to try out my kinks, and heat up the spice."

After all, you can always send a nice message and yet it can still be dirty.

2. anyone can contact anyone. I don't know of any rules that indicate otherwise. For the most part, I normally notice the males contacting the females the most regardless of being a sub or dom.

3. Profile dose look good. To bad you are bi or gay.

Take care and enjoy being a member of CM and welcome to the life style.



jnyblu -> RE: A few questions (1/22/2005 8:58:47 PM)

Thank you to everyone for your feedback. I've actually received several messages from people complimenting my profile which has been very encouraging. I sincerely want to learn as much as I can from those more experienced than I am. Hopefully in time I'll find what I'm looking for here.



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