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RE: flip flopping Dom - 10/8/2006 8:04:41 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Ha a "Dom" that isnt even takeing care of the slave he is lucky enough to have yet is looking for more slaves!! Classic!!!!

Dump his tush your to good for him

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: flip flopping Dom - 10/9/2006 9:03:17 AM   
shadevarr


Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline 		To the OP, have you attempted to collect all your thoughts and worries in a letter? I have found that a well written letter can cut through some mens mind far easier than a conversation can.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: flip flopping Dom - 10/9/2006 11:46:47 AM   
DEMONLORD


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/24/2006
Status: offline 		nothing to say here, for now

< Message edited by DEMONLORD -- 10/9/2006 11:58:14 AM >

(in reply to shadevarr)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: flip flopping Dom - 10/9/2006 12:04:19 PM   
simplyaslavegirl


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		i would like to take the time to Thank A/all for the suggestions, i am taking it all into consideration and will figure out what to do.

(in reply to DEMONLORD)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: flip flopping Dom - 10/9/2006 7:17:03 PM   
ayasha


Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simplyaslavegirl

I am in a Master/slave relationship but it appears that my Master is flip flopping on what He wants.  He wants a second slave and while i don't have a problem with that my problem is that He is not very attentive to the slave that He has(me).  He doesn't seem to realize that He is close to losing me because He doesn't spend the time with me(training, or otherwise) and I really need some advice on how to attack this issue with Him.Help!!


This could have been written from this one a year ago - lol in fact, think it was!  Got tired of waiting for Him to do all the things He said He would do; being a housekeeper that gave blowjobs just wasn't enough for this girl.  So one looked at His actions instead of His words; and thought OK, if one stays - will it be any different in 3 months, 6 months, a year?  The answer was nope - hadn't changed in 9 months so didn't see much hope for future change.  So one left and though there have been some regrets - it was the right thing to do.  Best wishes to you.............

(in reply to simplyaslavegirl)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: flip flopping Dom - 10/9/2006 7:25:37 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

maybe i'm just asking too much from Him *shrugs* 


Maybe you are aiming too low.  Maybe he can't provide the oversight you ache for.  Only you can answer these questions.  But there certainly isn't anything wrong with asking for something in a relationship.  It's not all about the Master.  Really.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to simplyaslavegirl)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: flip flopping Dom - 10/10/2006 3:57:01 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DEMONLORD

nothing to say here, for now

Hellova debut post; direct, articulate, universal application, even a tad menacing - and all in six words....
 
Welcome to the Forums anyway.
 
Focus.

(in reply to DEMONLORD)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: flip flopping Dom - 10/10/2006 4:03:21 AM   
losttreasure


Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: DEMONLORD

nothing to say here, for now

Hellova debut post; direct, articulate, universal application, even a tad menacing - and all in six words....
 
Welcome to the Forums anyway.
 
Focus.




(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: flip flopping Dom - 10/10/2006 5:18:09 AM   
RazorJAK


Posts: 821
Joined: 8/5/2006
From: Manistee
Status: offline 		As we've only been told one side of the issue,  I can only work with that.

This is actually one of my bigger pet peeves.  So-called "masters" who seem more concerned with the getting instead of the having.  Instead of working with the resources at hand and making things better,  they'd rather go after the new shiny.  This is a classic example of the consumerist throw-away society our culture has become.

As to those who have commented "He's the Master.  you're the slave.  If you don't like it,  leave."  I couldn't agree more with the leaving part.  However ...

What many *cough* masters seem to keep forgetting is that being in command is a RESPONSIBILITY.  If they wish only to have playmates then admit to being a top who wants sessions only and none of the "boring" stuff in between.

A way I used to drive this lesson home with the more obtuse people who just didn't get it any other way is by asking this:

What would you do if your child brought home yet another stray animal when he's not been taking care of the pets he already has in the house or yard?

In my not so humble opinion,  one who tries to take on multiple slaves or subs while not giving the amount of care and attention to the first slave's needs (and frankly deserves) is just that ... a spoiled child.


(in reply to losttreasure)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: flip flopping Dom - 10/10/2006 6:13:05 AM   
ayasha


Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline 		RazorJAK:

Excellent post - thank you. 

(in reply to RazorJAK)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: flip flopping Dom - 10/10/2006 6:22:55 AM   
ellecid


Posts: 18
Joined: 9/13/2006
Status: offline 		Reading with great interest! As a newcomer, and asking this question for my submissive self, how does one differentiate between "giving the amount of care and attention to the first slave's needs (and frankly deserves)", and the Dom loosing his power to the slave/sub? How does one know when the sub is asking or expecting too much?

(in reply to RazorJAK)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: flip flopping Dom - 10/10/2006 6:56:11 AM   
RazorJAK


Posts: 821
Joined: 8/5/2006
From: Manistee
Status: offline 		That's a YMMV(*) question.

It takes conversation and time.  If the master believes the sub is asking or demanding too much,  he'll say so and go about correcting the situation.

There is such a thing as "Topping from the Bottom".  But it is just as lazily misdiagnosed in the BDSM field as is ADD in the medical field.  70% or more of the time it's simply a weak dom whining that his plaything isn't being a completely obedient and brainless toy for him to use and abuse as he wishs.

(*) Your Mileage May Vary

(in reply to ellecid)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: flip flopping Dom - 10/10/2006 9:32:54 AM   
ellecid


Posts: 18
Joined: 9/13/2006
Status: offline 		simply,
I so relate to what you are saying, and am in the process of deciding whether I stay or move on. I have made my needs known. He says he understands them, yet he does not meet them. His response? "You know what I am and who I am. You must decide to accept or leave".  The woman in me feels that if he truly wants me, he would bend a bit, as I dont think I ask for much. So... I feel your pain:)  Its hard to think of leaving when your heart is involved. I hope you do what is best for you.

(in reply to krikket)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: flip flopping Dom - 10/10/2006 4:02:30 PM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline 		Agreed! Great post, hopefully the OP will read it several times and do somehing to change her reality.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrimitiveLogic

You can't make someone be something they have no interest or capacity to be. Behavior is the only true currency with any value...words are merely words. Stay and continue your current reality; or change it.
Asking him why won't change anything. "Expecting" from the bottom is like fishing without a hook...you'll spend a long time going throught the motions without accomplishing anything. Sorry to sound so grim...but inept leaders are simply that...inept. To paraphrase an old adage: say what you mean and mean what you say...say what you'll do  and do what you say. Good luck to all who enter something that isn't quite what it was advertised to be.
PS. read my by line...Reality is what YOU create; not what others leave behind.

(in reply to PrimitiveLogic)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: flip flopping Dom - 10/11/2006 4:38:33 PM   
ChaOz


Posts: 98
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		Yeah ok you have two choices, but essentiually you need to work out what motivates him as a Dom and how you can influence him via that or just leavel. the first choice is to back right away from him, take time apart, and make him work for your attention. When he expects somethign, do the opposite, so that he gets curious and ends up focusing on you more. The other choice.. go on iso-hunt.com and check out the books on domination there. If you cant find them I can help you out. There's tonnes of good material for him to read, maybe he is just new and doesnt know how far he should take it. Or just talk to him, do you keep a sub journal? Dom/subs need to understand each other, you should know what motivates the other person and what tehy are looking for. If he cant fill those needs move on but dont give up just yet. Chances are he just thinks being a dom means a certain thing, and so he is sticking to it regardless of what you say so you need to get through to him somehow.


< Message edited by ChaOz -- 10/11/2006 4:45:59 PM >

(in reply to BeingChewsie)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: flip flopping Dom - 10/13/2006 3:22:41 AM   
subbie12


Posts: 9
Joined: 10/12/2006
Status: offline 		My words of wisdom:
~~Never make someone a priority who is keeping you as an option.

This came to me after being disappointed one to many times by promises not kept. If he doesn't think your needs are important he is not worthy of being your Master/Dom. A good Master/Dom takes care of his responsibilities and if he wants to keep you he should take care of you. A M/s~D/s relationship is a symbiotic one with each person getting what they need from the other. If one is doing all the giving and the other all the taking the one doing all the giving will eventually find themselves empty with nothing left to give............

_____________________________

~~Sexual kink is a variation that some have used to break down the walls inside themselves and truly connect with their partner.

(in reply to ChaOz)
Profile   Post #: 36
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