Care and feeding of your inner beast ?

Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (Full Version)

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BitaTruble -> Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/8/2006 12:55:35 AM)
As usual, I read a thread which, in turn, caused me to get to thinking but the subject is different enough that I didn't want to highjack the original thread. I am at a point in my life where I am very comfortable in my own skin and am at peace with myself and the life I live with Himself. This does not detract from the endorphin and adreline rushes in any way .. those are enjoyed for the thrill they bring in and of themselves. I'm writing more about things outside of 'play' though. Every day service is something I, personally, find a great deal of joy in doing (probably why I hum while doing dishes and such which amuses Himself no end ::giggles::). Every day service to Himself feeds my inner beast. So, I read a thread in which a slave was not getting the inner beast fed (in this case through a perceived lack of attention to herself by her Master) ... and it got me to thinking about whose responsiblity is it to feed that beast. The Master? Well, I suppose an argument could be made that it is his duty to do so, but I guess my brain just doesn't work that way so I'm trying to open my mind to other possibilities. Himself is not responsible for my orientation. I am what I am and would be regardless of whether or not I even knew him. So, am I responsible for feeding my inner beast? Nurishing it by taking joy in what I do, reveling in the fact that I am in a relationship where power exchange is manifested on a daily basis? What happens if I am not in such a relationship anymore? I starve? That doesn't sound very good to me. So, the question. Can the beast be fed without a relationship? Is service without power enough to help maintain growth and health? On the flip side, how does a Master feed the beast without a slave? Does a Master look to the slave to feed him? How does one feed themselves when they have no slave? Do they starve? Do you define your beast as a dynamic of authority of one over the other, as a power exchange.. do you even believe you have a beast which needs must be fed? Ever curious, Celeste

HCWT1 -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/8/2006 1:56:39 AM)
Thanks for asking the question Bita Truble,will watch with interest,as i beleive that the arnser is why i just took off and walked away from a collar. For what its worth,after thirty years i believe the inner beast does need to be forfulled,and it definatly takes action by both parties,otherwise on a personal level,what is the point. HCWT1

LaTigresse -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/8/2006 6:27:09 AM)
Interesting questions. I read this then went out to walk the dogs and thought about it. Most of my acceptance and exploration of who I am in relation to BDSM, WIIWD, whatever the hell you want to call it....has been without a significant other. Here is the kicker, it is by choice. I won't even go into those reasons because it does not apply in the context of this thread. For me, feeding that beast has been done in a miriad of ways. Education, communicating with others with r/t experience that I respect, taking positive control of aspects in my own life. In essense, dominating myself. I knew I wanted specific things and needed to determine, was I ready for that, then what did I need to do to be ready. I see too many relationships regardless of the individuals situation, bdsm or otherwise, that one or both parties are expecting the other person to fullfil them, fix all their problems, fill their empty holes. I saw the potential in myself to jump too quickly into that, both wanting someone to do it for me but more dangerously wanting to do it for someone else. I knew that was a slippery slope headed for an ugly crash and wanted to avoid it. I felt that I needed to be whole and fulfilled by myself. Then I would be able to have the sucessful relationship that would enrich and compliment my life rather than make it. Feeding my beast is as simple as stopping myself from buying those beautiful earrings I would have jumped all over last year. Stopping my mouth when my adult son calls me crying at the end of his emotional rope and just listening rather than telling him how to "fix" it. Giving advice only when asked for and just being there without trying to force my "way" on him. So many small seemingly vanilla things but for me it is all about taking control of my life in a positive way, then acknowledging my accomplishments. I used to NEVER be able to think I was good enough. Someone would compliment me on something well done and I would just kinda "yeah, thanks" while my inner voice would nag me "pfffttt, good job! you know you only did half ass and could have done so much better!you have no right to be proud of yourself" Stopping the negative habits of 44 years and focusing on growth. Things a dominant can do for a submissive/slave, I am doing for myself. If and when someone special comes along I know I can "walk the walk, not just talk the talk". Alot of my nurturing and guiding urges also get fed by my work with animals. You cannot lie to a dog or horse, you cannot productively force your will on either and get a healthy result. I enjoy seeing them blossom and find themselves with their training. Introducing a horse to a new concept, seeing their confusion, reassuring them, encouraging them, pushing them, watching that you do not push them past their limitations, then seeing them finally "get it" and gain confidence. Knowing that you accomplished this without damaging them. That is just pure joy.

Amaros -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/8/2006 10:17:14 AM)
For me, it just never goes away - it may subside for a while, but usually that just means I'm pushing limits in some other direction, and it doesn't take much to bring that hunger back like a tidal wave - I'm rather more concerned with keeping it in check, and finding suitable outlets for it. I need a huge ego to keep my equally voracious id and superego under control, and I've fought some bloody, pitched battles there. I also have a powerful compulsion towards adversarial competition, for lack of a better way of phrasing that, I love challenge, so about all you'd have to do to get me going is complain or act bored - I guarantee you won't stay bored for long, I'll find a way to feed you...

Amaros -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/8/2006 10:25:29 AM)
I'm gonna hurl myself against the wall 'cause I'd rather feel bad than not feel anything at all... - Warren Zevon.

pinkee -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/8/2006 10:44:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Interesting questions. I read this then went out to walk the dogs and thought about it. Most of my acceptance and exploration of who I am in relation to BDSM, WIIWD, whatever the hell you want to call it....has been without a significant other. Here is the kicker, it is by choice. I won't even go into those reasons because it does not apply in the context of this thread. For me, feeding that beast has been done in a miriad of ways. Education, communicating with others with r/t experience that I respect, taking positive control of aspects in my own life. In essense, dominating myself. I knew I wanted specific things and needed to determine, was I ready for that, then what did I need to do to be ready. I see too many relationships regardless of the individuals situation, bdsm or otherwise, that one or both parties are expecting the other person to fullfil them, fix all their problems, fill their empty holes. I saw the potential in myself to jump too quickly into that, both wanting someone to do it for me but more dangerously wanting to do it for someone else. I knew that was a slippery slope headed for an ugly crash and wanted to avoid it. I felt that I needed to be whole and fulfilled by myself. Then I would be able to have the sucessful relationship that would enrich and compliment my life rather than make it. Feeding my beast is as simple as stopping myself from buying those beautiful earrings I would have jumped all over last year. Stopping my mouth when my adult son calls me crying at the end of his emotional rope and just listening rather than telling him how to "fix" it. Giving advice only when asked for and just being there without trying to force my "way" on him. So many small seemingly vanilla things but for me it is all about taking control of my life in a positive way, then acknowledging my accomplishments. I used to NEVER be able to think I was good enough. Someone would compliment me on something well done and I would just kinda "yeah, thanks" while my inner voice would nag me "pfffttt, good job! you know you only did half ass and could have done so much better!you have no right to be proud of yourself" Stopping the negative habits of 44 years and focusing on growth. Things a dominant can do for a submissive/slave, I am doing for myself. If and when someone special comes along I know I can "walk the walk, not just talk the talk". Alot of my nurturing and guiding urges also get fed by my work with animals. You cannot lie to a dog or horse, you cannot productively force your will on either and get a healthy result. I enjoy seeing them blossom and find themselves with their training. Introducing a horse to a new concept, seeing their confusion, reassuring them, encouraging them, pushing them, watching that you do not push them past their limitations, then seeing them finally "get it" and gain confidence. Knowing that you accomplished this without damaging them. That is just pure joy. i completely agree with Your post, LaTigresse. i would only add that P/pl in this country need to safeguard T/their libidoes and fertility -- at every stage of life -- because IMHO the medical community pays little or no heed to the potential for sexual dysfunction or infertility. As an example, i was amoung the first generation of women to take the birth control pill. When it was originally released for prescription, it contained massive doses of hormones as compared to birth control pills introduced in the past few years. One immediate side effect of the "70's birth control pill was to render some women infertile for lengthy periods of time after they stopped using the Pill. To my knowledge, no medical research is currently being done on the possible long-term side effects of the '70's Pill. i mention this not to disagree with You in any way, nor to imply that BDSM is sexually-centrist for E/everyone. However, it is for me. To protect myself, i am aware of the side effects of any medication offered me and engage in activities, such as writing erotica, which help keep my libido strong and my body sensitized. pinkee

mstrjx -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/8/2006 11:00:50 AM)
I'm rather in the same boat with LaT. I'm currently without a partner. I have been fortunate in that in my years doing this, the amount of time between partners has been pretty small. The time I am spending now 'without' is my choice. I also have to deal with the fact that I have two (perhaps) diametrically opposing beasts that don't always seem to live well together. My day-to-day living never lets me forget who and what I am, as I mentioned in another post. I'm always 'exposed', one way or another. But that, of course, only goes so far. My BDSM (call it my personal) beast is addressed in subtle ways. For the time being, that is enough until I take care of what I feel needs to be handled. Jeff

TopCurious0 -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/8/2006 11:35:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble On the flip side, how does a Master feed the beast without a slave? Does a Master look to the slave to feed him? How does one feed themselves when they have no slave? Do they starve? Do you define your beast as a dynamic of authority of one over the other, as a power exchange.. do you even believe you have a beast which needs must be fed? Ever curious, Celeste Right now I'm single and subless... For me, the beast is the bits of me that I keep under control to be the member of society that I want to be. The slave/sub/bottom does not feed me. I feed off the interaction. Have not figured out how to Feed without, but at least the hunger comes and goes, and only gets so bad. I spend a lot of time feeling hungry, and occasionally a bit crancky because of it. What do I do? I try to ignore it, and stop it from affecting the rest of my life. I'm not willing to unleash it on anyone who does not give me consent to do so.

juliaoceania -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/8/2006 11:54:24 AM)
I am a very service oriented person myself. I need to feel as though I am of help to the person I am with, and I love doing things for my Daddy. There is no other way to nourish that particular beast (boy I love that term). I love giving my time to others, being helpful, giving my time to charity... that sort of thing... but it is not the same thing as service to my Daddy.... it does not feel the same emotionally. Both dominant men I have been involved with gave their time to their community in differing ways. Being of service is not inherently submissive or dominant. So they may look the same, but they are different beasts...smiles. I remember one time you posted a service thread and you talked about picking apples for your Himself, how you did this with tender love and total attention to detail (yes I actually read what other people say...lol). You then said you would pick up apples for a friend, but you would not devote your time to such detail for anyone else... that is the beast in my mind... and I can relate... and no I cannot feed it but through my submission to another... it just is not the same for me. My beast lies dormant until the time that someone awakens it. It hybernates and awaits a dominant that I feel submissive to, and then it comes out in response to that. If I am not involved with a dom, I am fine, and I do not starve. Sometimes in my present situation being far from my Daddy and not seeing him as often as i would like, that beast is fairly hungry. He mentions an injury, tiredness, doing his own laundry... and I feel something akin to guilt... but not quite guilt. I want to be the one that does things for him... I wnt to cook for him, do his chores, make his life more pleasant and relaxing.. I want to serve him... and I am not able to always.... That is just my thoughts... thanks for sharing yours Celeste

valeca -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/8/2006 12:11:01 PM)
My orientation would be the same with or without Master in my life, of that, I've no doubt. That said, for myself, it's a balancing act as to who feeds my beast. On one hand, I feel I'm responsible for my own feeding...looking for (and finding) the joy in the every day, and in the extremes--that is part of my responsibility to Him, to myself, and to the relationship. On the other hand, the pleasures I get in service, in large part, stem from my service to Him--so in a round-about way, He's the one feeding my beast by allowing the opporunity to serve Him. It's almost like a catch 22: The more I do to please, the happier He is The happier He is, the happier I feel The happier I feel, the more I do to please. I feel it's a healthy balance between the two. I don't feel in our relationship the bulk of the responsibility rests fully on either of our shoulders. By feeding myself, I feed Him. By feeding me, He feeds Himself. Great topic, Bita. It gave me a lot to think about.

Amaros -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/8/2006 12:14:02 PM)
Actually, I do take a lot of vitamins, come to think of it...

LotusSong -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/8/2006 5:42:13 PM)
Right now.. my inner beast is going to take a nap.

sublizzie -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/8/2006 5:48:13 PM)
I have not yet had the pleasure of having a Dom (singular) to serve. When my unmentionables were younger the beast was kept quiet through taking care of them and their needs. Now that they are out on their own, I was without someone to serve. One reason I adopted my 2 cats was to have something that needed daily service. Cleaning litter boxes just wasn't quite enough though. I am very luck in that there is a local group that practices D/s on a group level. I was blessed to be accepted into the group so I now have a number of Dominants who allow me to serve them in group meetings or in other ways that meet their needs. While it would be nice to have a Dom I could serve 24/7, being with the group does take enough of the edge off the beast that it's easier to get through the days and weeks until that happens.

mellian -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/8/2006 8:50:47 PM)
Lately been really wanting to unleash my own inner beast, to just pounce on someone and ravage them, but still have to deal with the stupid shell and also doesn't not having much opportunities, especially when I tend to overthink it when they come or/and way to concern I may make the other person feel uncomfortable. -mellian

BitaTruble -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/8/2006 10:11:05 PM)
Thank you for all the replies. :) I've been trying to wrap my brains around the posts of slaves who write that they are not being given the dominance they require from their Masters, so their solution and the advice I see most often given (outside of communicate) tends towards 'leave' and it's just very hard for me to grasp leaving as a solution. I read these posts and most of them indicate that communication has been attempted and failed and I wonder if it's because the communication which is taking place isn't addressing the real issues of the relationship, but rather the superficial aspects of it. I see a lot of those same sorts of issues in vanilla marriages and as an excuse for cheating on your spouse. There's no sex, so I cheat. What should I do? (answer: talk or leave!) There's no play. What should I do? (answer: talk or leave!) He's not a Master because ABC are not taking place. What should I do? (answer: talk or leave!) And so on and so forth. I'm trying to put myself into someone else's shoes here and I'm having more difficulty with it than usual. Perhaps it's a difference between active dominance with active submission vs passive dominance with active submission. 'If you can't see it, is it still there' sort of thing. So I look at that and know that my own inner beast is fed by 'my' action in service to Himself and that it's nurtured by my own desire to please him regardless of actions he may or may not take. On the other hand, I am also very well aware of who runs the show around here, so I don't question the authority and I don't need to test it or 'activate' it to feel it. I see the struggle of other slaves though, and I just wish I could help them, so that's more what this is about than anything. Trying to figure out a way to do that so they are at peace with who they are .. and yes, I know it boils down to choosing the right dominant in the beginning, but I'm not so sure that if it wasn't Himself who was in my life that I would be having these sorts of issues that I see from others. I mean, who knows, maybe ... but I just don't think so. (Am I making ANY sense here at all??? lol ) Anyway, all the threads about leaving dominants, not getting the power exchange and things of that nature just make me wonder a bit how much 'inner beast' should be fed by 'inner reflection' and how much should be dependent upon outside influences even if those influences are our Masters and Mistresses. Thanks again for the replies everyone! I'm going to continue to think on this topic and maybe get a clue as to why some of these threads are written and what's going on in the world of dominance and submission. ::chuckles:: Celeste

KnightofMists -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/9/2006 12:01:05 AM)
What is this inner beast? Personally.... I don't identify with this particular concept. I am who I am. There is no beast within that needs to be fed... but maybe it is just a matter of semantics. For what some call the inner beast... I just identify as my inner self. My inner self is what is within me that motivates myself. I see my innerself as not somthing that must be fed from my external world, but it is the drives and motivations of how I will interact with my external world. I am more than a person in an M/s relationship. In my intimate M/s relationships... my motivations are demonstrated very specifically in those particular dynamics. However, I am also a parent, son, friend, employee, manager and a few other things as well. How I interact in these various interactions are motivated from within myself. I "take" from these various interactions that which provides for me the gratifications that am motivated to have. I have found that the closer I am able to demonstrate my innerself in my daily interactions the more gratified and happy my life is. So if I am to feed that inner beast as you call it... or as I consider it... I seek to gratify myself within my interactions.. I must have the right interactions that will give this gratification. I gain an immense amount of pleasure and happiness from my interactions with alandra and kyra. If I wish to continue to enjoy the pleasures that these relationships bring me... I need to continue to be the person that earned these specific relationships in the first place. I have found that the best way to continue to be that person is to be true to thy self. In the end... I am responsible for my own self.. just as my girls are responsible to be their own self. We be who we are and being who we are is what feeds us.

crouchingtigress -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/9/2006 12:17:19 AM)
Hi Celeste, My feeling is that the only person that is responsible for their personal physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual health is the person themselves. Anything else will always cause suffering. How you ask? Ask you self "what do i need right now in this moment to nourish myself"...and listen to the answer. If you get an answer that involves another person that you dont have yet, dont fall into the trap of letting that stop you, and worse depress you. ask yourself to go deeper, to not cop out, because the answer will give you a great source of strength that will ultimately be a very attractive quality that attracts your mate to you.....

patina -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/9/2006 12:40:35 AM)
I call my inner beast my void, 21 years of a vanilla marriage did not fill that void, dating after the divorce did nothing to it. Being with that one Dom for a time did apease it somewhat, now I know what the void needs to feel complete. I know that to really totally fill that void it will take more than just a Dom. To count on someone else to satisfy you inner beast-void-sanction- is to ask for troubles all your life. The only person you should count on to satisfy your self should be yourself. Any others are just extras or more pleasure from life. Patina

mons -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/9/2006 1:47:41 AM)
greetings bita my what a thought i had always felt that with out a dom/ domme we have nothing to hold us together as beings , i mean without a sub a dominant male or female has nothing you speak of the submissive part of this group but what of the dominant we are beast too who feeds us i wonder and when we have no one do we feed on ourself. this is my thought on it you need your himself you called him right you can not feed on yourself it is how would you i wonder and me a dominant women who would i feed on and how would i this si a great thougth you have brought forht bita what a brain you have this is something to really see and learn from how do we feed i think some feed by going to dugeon or private parties me i want one to owe i have him but as you said what would be do if we did not have him who would feed us then i think it is the dominant place to feed the submissive i love the feel of control power it feeds me well that is my answer dear bita and thank mons

catize -> RE: Care and feeding of your inner beast ? (10/9/2006 7:39:05 AM)
quote: I've been trying to wrap my brains around the posts of slaves who write that they are not being given the dominance they require from their Masters, so their solution and the advice I see most often given (outside of communicate) tends towards 'leave' and it's just very hard for me to grasp leaving as a solution. I read these posts and most of them indicate that communication has been attempted and failed and I wonder if it's because the communication which is taking place isn't addressing the real issues of the relationship, but rather the superficial aspects of it. I see a lot of those same sorts of issues in vanilla marriages and as an excuse for cheating on your spouse. Bita, I have several thoughts on this issue. From all that you have posted, your particular beast has been well fed for a very long time. Your dynamic is cemented, so to speak. Your submission can and does continue to ‘feed’ you because there is no question in your mind that your every act is in accordance with what is desired by your master. Speaking from experience, when one is in a newer, untested D/s relationship, if there is no overt dominance it begins to feel as if one is submitting to a brick wall. The beast goes hungry and gets a headache from banging against that wall. The dynamic cannot survive in a vacuum. My second point is that if either party feels unsatisfied, there is an issue that needs to be fixed. It doesn’t matter whether the problem belongs to the submissive or to the dominant; it needs to be addressed and rectified. Experience, trust and time are all factors that affect how well the beast is sated.

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