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BlkTallFullfig -> RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? (10/8/2006 10:12:44 PM)
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ORIGINAL: Jasmyn
I read a headline the other day that said dominant, independent women were more likely to end up alone and unpartnered than their more forgiving counterparts and it made me wonder how this panned out in the bdsm world It is true that dominant women scare a great deal of men. I have always been told I am intimidating by simply standing there, but that is neither here nor there. I no longer feel the need to act more flaky to make anyone comfortable. I treat everyone with courtesy and respect, and expect the same. I believe the very first rule of being a dominant babe, is to be comfortable in your skin, and know that a penis on hand (or anywhere else) doesn't make you less or more of a woman... That statement is made with due respect to bi/lesbian ladies; I only speak in hetero terms because that is my experience, and from where I make the majority of my observations.
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If you don't mind me asking M, are you finding dominance a hinderance or a help? ;) It is only in hinderance in that I'm less likely to accept random dates with men I recognize to be dominant, or worse, domineering. It isn't impossible for me to date a dominant if he is a kind gentleman who treats his lady like my dad treated women (with chivalry/respect/care). Domineering manly man however, I stay far away from, because we get along like a house on fire.
Do I get any less action/proposals? No. In fact, I think men find me more interesting now that I'm less shy and apologetic. My ex husband would cut off his right arm to be with me again, knowing I am as bad as I am now, LOL. I could still rival Liz Taylor with the marriage/divorce thing if I didn't put the acceptance of it on hold. My difficulty has only been in finding a ("SINGLE" lol) submissive gentleman with whom the chemistry is just right (kink wise/physical), and the commitment to long term is similar to mine.
The bottom line is that finding a potential life partner is hard work, requiring self awareness and openness to commitment on both sides. What I have found among would be submissive men is a divorce between their desire to love/submit, and their acceptance/love of that desire to make it everyday life without worrying that it makes them look a weakling/sinner/whatever other issues they come with.
Does being dominant make me less marriage material? Yes, only because it makes me more specific in knowing with whom I would have long term potential vs the same old mistakes. Besides marriage really is an institution, and I don't want to be committed if he isn't obedient, loving, kind, democrat, and a good match for me physically and spiritually. I hope that answers your question. [;)] M
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