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tributes.. - 10/9/2006 7:05:26 AM

rubyleu

Posts: 63
Status: offline

as much as i respect the Domme position and the responsibilities that come with that, i dont seem to understand fully why so many Dommes, or females, especially on this site, want tribute. some profiles talk about nothing but that. money money money.. sometimes, the word "prostitution" comes to my head, but i know its not the right term. may it be because im sub, or im proud, or shit lets put the labels aside here, i prefer earning my own money and feeling good about it rather than someone handing it over to me cos he or she is under my control. i dunno.. just doesnt make sense to me. why does my Master not want my money and just want my body, soul and spirit instead?

im guessing i might get some nasty replies, because i feel there are many 'pissed off' dominant women on this site. you read their profile and all it is, is negativity. no this, no that, etc etc.. i understand some ppl get turned on by that..

so whats this thing about money all the time?

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RE: tributes.. - 10/9/2006 7:09:34 AM

DeviantLady

Posts: 38
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline

Try reading some other profiles and looking for the positive.

(in reply to rubyleu)

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RE: tributes.. - 10/9/2006 7:16:24 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

As long as their are men eager to spoil their women, there will be women looking to be spoiled. There is nothing wrong with that, at all. It is as prevalent in the vanilla world as it is here, if not more so with the number of women looking for a good man to take care of her. Same concept, man pays for everything, different wording.
If your Master DID ask for money from you, would that be a dealbreaker in your relationship?
The reason a lot of Domme profiles are so negative are becasue we are cutting the responses we tend to get off at the pass, so they say. It is easier to list what we dont want than it is to hope someone reads closely enough to know what we do. I know in my case, I had to move the announcement about collaring LoverForDomme up to the top of my profile, because no one ever read far enough down to see that I was no longer looking. Its nothing negative, just something that wasnt getting noticed.
Maybe you need to read a few more profiles. There are more than enough of us here that are positive about things.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

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(in reply to DeviantLady)

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RE: tributes.. - 10/9/2006 7:42:10 AM

SexyFemDom

Posts: 25
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

You will find what you believe. If you look for the negative, that's only what you will see. Try to look at the positive once in a while - you'll make your world a brighter place.

Some subs like pros and some don't. The ones that dont like them probably want a long term thing.

Pros or lifestyle (or a pro/lifestyle combo) whatever--- they are all people.

So long as there's subs willing to pay a fee or offer a gift, the will pros willing to accept $ or gifts in exchange for their time and training.

What's the big deal anyway? Like there arent more important things to ponder.

(in reply to rubyleu)

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RE: tributes.. - 10/9/2006 7:59:29 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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It's the internet you can find anything if you look hard enough. There are some Dom's who ask for tribute as well they just don't advertise it as much.

~Lashra

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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to SexyFemDom)

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RE: tributes.. - 10/9/2006 8:54:24 AM

USwhimsy

Posts: 5
Joined: 11/9/2005
Status: offline

Good day,
My general opinion of tribute is that if a male knows what he's getting into from the beginning, then he shouldn't complain. I do not ask for tribute, but I do charge a fee for my services. I regard that as I would any other confidential, professional services that I offer. I have earned several professional licenses and certificates which I do apply to my ProDomme services. I do not consider my self a prostitute since I do not offer sexual gratification in any form. There is nothing sexual about BDSM to me, and when I do an intake for a session, I feel out those who clearly mistake my services for such, and do not take them as clients. Moreover, many of my clients become friends, and recurring clients just as many of my other professional clients outside this realm do. If you uphold yourself as a professional, and help your clients in any business feel safe, secure and know that they are being respected, and their confidentiality upheld then you should be treated as a professional. In my "other" business realm, I help heal clients physically and mentally. The BDSM realm is similar whereas clients come to me for help in fulfilling a part of them that they feel they cannot safely do outside a professional realm. Some are happily married and cannot share their fantasies in their marriages. Some are just plain shy, or afraid of what their friends might think. Some are professionals themselves who do not have any friends in the BDSM realm, and want to start out with someone who thinks on their level to get a feel for what they can look for in others. Some just want to experiment. Whatever the wish, it's all about a personal choice that should not be judged by anyone but the person making their own decision for their own personal lifestyle.

Regards,
USwhimsy

< Message edited by USwhimsy -- 10/9/2006 8:55:24 AM >

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

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RE: tributes.. - 10/9/2006 9:32:52 AM

DivaZya

Posts: 103
Joined: 2/15/2005
Status: offline

A search for the word tribute can find a lot of money oriented Mistresses.
So how can you search for someone who doesn't demand, ask, or even mention tribute?
I don't mind at all when a service oriented submissive/slave surprises Me with a hand built bench for My garden, or spends a few hours weeding.
I really look forward to My c.u.b. who has taken over the tasks of keeping My bathroom and kitchen shiney in all the corners - and still never knows if he'll be used as a 'clean up boy' in any other way - or if he can snatch a few hours from his environmental attourney career every week to keep himself in good standing with Me.
   submissive girls aren't just a pretty face and a nice ass to torment - the good ones prove themselves as helper girls too !
The girl (I haven't found yet) will be happy to find ways to make Me remember her after she's gone, and look forward to when she'll come to stay - sort My closet? For her safety and security, she should be employed at least part time away from My household - it's important that the submissives have their own money - their own friends & certainly access to old friends and family!

   These gifts and services are not the same as cold hard cash, but each does Make My World more Pleasent - and I do demand service.

   Does all that have an effect on tribute? Female submissives are a speical class - has anyone ever heard of a healthy young attractive female paying tribute to Anybody? yet males - healthy young attractive males - will do so second only to older more financially secure males.

For some, the tribute is a security - I've been in a situation where having been sent a tribute would have totally eased My mind about setting aside an entire weekend to scene with someone, and they didn't make it.
Too many males just want wank material. Enough FemDoms want easy cash, supply & demand, neh?

Always the best Diva~Zya

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~ D/s isn't based on fantasies- it may be motivated by them, but reality must be dealt with, and sometimes sharply! ~

(in reply to USwhimsy)

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RE: tributes.. - 10/9/2006 12:13:36 PM

sugarcoatedscamp

Posts: 120
Joined: 5/5/2006
From: Fort Wayne, IN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

The reason a lot of Domme profiles are so negative are becasue we are cutting the responses we tend to get off at the pass, so they say. It is easier to list what we dont want than it is to hope someone reads closely enough to know what we do.

I can relate to what you're saying here. It's the reason I put the big bold notice at the top of my profile, urging those I'm not seeking to move on. My profile is pretty lengthy, and I'd expect anyone who approached me to have read it in its entirety beforehand, but at the very least, I figure the bit at the top is going to be visible any time I come up in someone's search.

< Message edited by sugarcoatedscamp -- 10/9/2006 12:14:19 PM >

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You can call me Master now!

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RE: tributes.. - 10/9/2006 3:18:10 PM

DominaAngelina

Posts: 15
Joined: 2/26/2005
From: Poway
Status: offline

The following was posted by Domina Betka Schpitz .... who is a Pro and lifestyle Domina - Her words have helped a lot of slaves with the same question you are posting today - I hope this will help you as well.

Domina Angelina

The following are her words...

"When people come in to see me they are compensating me financially because they are unable to serve me personally due to some outside circumstances. those circumstances could be distance, time commitments, relationship status, or any number of other things. It is a way for someone that normally would not have the opportunity to play with me the opportunity to do so in a safe, discreet envoronment, with clear boundaries set, in a fantasy setting perfectly equipped for our scene. The fact that I am being compensated financailly means I can devote my time and attention to them exclusively. I can give them my undivided attention without trying to figure out how I am going to pay the bills or afford the toys we are using. How else would I make the time to play with so many strangers and afford the constant stream of new and interesting devices?

When I am doing a professional session the tribute paid by my clients is to cover the time and expense of being a very well equipped, outfitted and educated player. These things have taken years to collect and be very costly. They are not paying simply for the privilege of playing with me, they are reserving time im my training schedule that would otherwise be spent training my personal slaves. The reason personl slaves do not pay me a monetary tribute is that in exchange for their training they help me with a myriad of tasks in my life and businesses. They exchange their time and skills for mine.

Collecting a large range of equipment and clothing is no inexpensive task and unfortunately, there is no little S/m fairy to drop off the perfect thing for your fantasy session. I will not bore you with the specifics of every last item, but I have a collection that has taken 10 years to build and is worth tens of thousands of dollars. This is S/m and bondage equipment alone. I am also an avid poly-fetishist who enjoys latex, corsetry, gloves, shoes and boots so my wardrobe is extensive and ensembles range from $300.00- $2000.00 on average. The studio itself is 3,500 sq feet of multiple themed rooms. I also use hospital grade disinfectants and do consistent remodels and equipment additions. Combine this with advertising, computer and website costs and you can certainly see why this is such an expensive profession. Some people will say "oh you could do all of these thibgs for a lot less" and this is true.

That is why I believe a Domina's rate should reflect her personal collection and skill level, not just the sort of work she is doing or an over inflated ego. If I didn't have all of this overhead my rates would be lower, however, that isn't the sort of fantasy I want to live. I use the studio and accoutrements at my disposal to weave a dream world where fantasies manifest into hedonistic displays of dabauchery. I wouldn't want to skimp on that".
posted by Betka Schpitz

< Message edited by DominaAngelina -- 10/9/2006 3:25:45 PM >

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RE: tributes.. - 10/9/2006 8:21:31 PM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

I differentiate between professional dominants, and financial or tribute dommes.

I have met Betka socially and know that she is indeed a business woman. I think there is more of an honesty and clarity in professional domination--it is a business that provides a service for which I think there is demand and one that I think is important for whatever equilibrium exists in the BDSM population. I think pro dommes also play an important role in the spread or acceptance of BDSM across population.

I am less accepting when monetary wants are slipped into personal relationships. I once met for lunch a domme who described my mannerism as "flawless" and was surprised that I had not receieved training to behave as I did. After the lunch, she indicated that she was now offended by my manners. She had asked me to bring her a card. What I did not know is that that card was supposed to have money inside as a tribute for having lunch.

There was no mention of anything of the sort in the multiple emails we had exchanged before meeting for lunch. If there had been mention of such tribute, I would have immediately clarified I was not the person she sought.

If a woman wishes to make money from the demand that exists for domination, I would see her choice in better light if she is upfront about it.

I see the type of D/s relationship I seek to be similar in spirit to general social relationships. I look upon giving tribute to a domme similarly to how one would when courting a vanilla woman. It seems weird to me to give money to a woman to socialize with me, as it would for me to pay a friend to go watch a movie with me.

I seek a woman not for her skills or equipment, but for what makes her attractive to me--even if it is for a play relationship. In return I offer that that might allow her to find me attractive and enjoy being or playing with me.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 10/9/2006 9:21:40 PM >

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RE: tributes.. - 10/10/2006 1:10:03 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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Before ya post something about this topic (or any other), it's always good to do a search of the CM forums to see if the topic has been discussed ad nauseum in the past. In this case, we've had SO many conversations about the exact question you've asked, I can't even bring myself to type it again!

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to rubyleu)

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RE: tributes.. - 10/10/2006 1:36:27 PM

DiannaVesta

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

Before ya post something about this topic (or any other), it's always good to do a search of the CM forums to see if the topic has been discussed ad nauseum in the past. In this case, we've had SO many conversations about the exact question you've asked, I can't even bring myself to type it again!

THANK YOU!!!! This subject is worn out!

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