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RE: women whisperer - 10/10/2006 10:06:23 AM

tangldupinblue

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i think their are alot of them out there, but it takes a certain ear to hear it. i know that i had heard and seen many a man try to do it, but it never effected me until Daddy whispered to me.

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RE: women whisperer - 10/10/2006 12:03:42 PM

zumala

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956
"Woman behavior is best understood from the perspective that women are prey animals with a well-developed fight or flight instinct. Their first response to a threat is to flee, although they are known to stand their ground and defend themselves or their offspring in cases where flight is not possible, such as when a baby would be threatened.

Homo sap evolved under conditions of being a prey animal, and the fight or flight response isn't linked to the X chromosone by any means. This stuff is just silly.

I don't work with prey animals or herd animals, and in fact I've been notorious at more than one zoo for spooking hoofstock with my natural body language...including the petting zoo animals that don't spook for screaming kids running and grabbing at them. The mindset really is completely different with prey animals, and the same body language that will let you get close to wild carnivores appears to scare the crap out of herd animals, sometimes literally.

I think it's fairly clear that Emperor is just joking around with that. You could put the word 'horse' in there and it would sound a lot more reasonable.

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RE: women whisperer - 10/10/2006 1:08:33 PM

KnifeCandy

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Cute, Emp, cute.

Seriously, though, I have known three "woman whisperers" in my life, or, more correctly, "human whisperers." The first was my best friend & "other half" when I was 16. It seemed that only the two of us had the connection to start with, but he went on to discover a way to translate it to everyone he met...very clever of him, but left me feeling a bit unimportant, to be sure. How did I handle it? Poorly, given my tender age. More on his methods in a bit.

The next time I met one, I, handled it by, ah, accidentally falling in love with him. Bummer, since we were both married...to other people. We did eventually managed to disentangle ourselves back to a warm friendship, though, and I've watched him do the same thing with other women since. Poor girls. Again, I probably handled this less well than I could have, but at least we remain friends.

The only one whom I've known who could do this without actually physically meeting someone, however, is my current Dom. And that is an interesting feat indeed. I feel I'm handling this one very well, and enjoying every second of it. ;)

Back to the methods...if you do not innately possess this sort of empathy, there are courses that will teach you useful skills, and from what I've gleaned, they fall into two main categories: Pick-up Artists (PUA, geared more toward "woman whispering" in specific, although there are female PUAs as well) and those courses designed with therapists in mind. The quickest & most commercially available form of therapy-derived courses are in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). This was the route my ex-best friend took to translating his skills to all humans. I have dabbled in this field, but have found I lack the discipline to apply it on an everyday basis, relying instead on my innate empathy for most interactions. It is fascinating stuff, however, and excellent resources are available, such as the classic "Frogs into Princes" by Richard Bandler & John Grinder and the more accessible "Instant Rapport" by Michael Brooks.

Of course, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that sociopaths are, pretty much by definition, consummate people readers (or "whisperers"). I don't believe I've met too many of these, thank goodness, but if I did, and could ID them as such, I'd probably handle them by running, as quickly as possible, in the opposite direction.

KC

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RE: women whisperer - 10/10/2006 2:14:15 PM

Emperor1956

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zumala gets the sugar cube!* My post was the intro to the Wikipedia article on "horse behavior" verbatim with two small changes -- I changed "horse" to "woman" and "human" to "Man".

Why? Because I wanted to make a point that the OP and the entire concept of "woman whisperer" is essentially insulting to women. Horses and dogs may have wonderful intelligences and personalities, but they are, at base, less than human. To equate human-human interaction with "woman whispering" is foolish, and insulting.

I find it interesting that many have posted in the thread in a positive vein (KnifeCandy's post for one) that equates the concept of "woman whisperer" with a sensitive, emotionally whole man. That's fine, but I don't think that was what the OP was about at all (and I also note that KnifeCandy broadens the topic to "human whisperers", again, not at all what I think was meant.)

Then again, maybe the OP is a Rorschach, and I'm just reading into it differently. Wouldn't be the first time.

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*Originally I was going to give out a cookie, but My holly pointed out that that was using positive rewards, much like a "horse whisperer". So I figured "lets go all the way".

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"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

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RE: women whisperer - 10/10/2006 2:56:05 PM

Najakcharmer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956
I wanted to make a point that the OP and the entire concept of "woman whisperer" is essentially insulting to women. Horses and dogs may have wonderful intelligences and personalities, but they are, at base, less than human. To equate human-human interaction with "woman whispering" is foolish, and insulting.

I don't know about that. From the perspective of a real life professional "animal whisperer", I don't think it's even possible to think of living beings that you understand and empathize with so deeply in an insulting or contemptuous way. If I met someone who felt the same deep reverence, respect, affection and understanding for me that I do for the animals I work with, that would be pretty close to my definition of an ideal relationship.

I do consciously apply some of the same Zen-like focus and concentration on the body language of my subject to BDSM scenes, so I guess you might say that I am a "sub whisperer" also. LOL But it is very far from being insulting to a sub that I am focusing so intently on what they are feeling and experiencing, even at times they may be unable or unwilling to speak.

I don't work with horses or dogs or anything domestic. I don't think that most people would regard the animals I do work with as "lesser", or be particularly insulted by a comparison.

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RE: women whisperer - 10/10/2006 5:46:42 PM

losttreasure

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

zumala gets the sugar cube!* My post was the intro to the Wikipedia article on "horse behavior" verbatim with two small changes -- I changed "horse" to "woman" and "human" to "Man".

Why? Because I wanted to make a point that the OP and the entire concept of "woman whisperer" is essentially insulting to women. Horses and dogs may have wonderful intelligences and personalities, but they are, at base, less than human. To equate human-human interaction with "woman whispering" is foolish, and insulting.

I find it interesting that many have posted in the thread in a positive vein (KnifeCandy's post for one) that equates the concept of "woman whisperer" with a sensitive, emotionally whole man. That's fine, but I don't think that was what the OP was about at all (and I also note that KnifeCandy broadens the topic to "human whisperers", again, not at all what I think was meant.)

Wait a minute... the OP was insulting to women?

*checks inside knickers*

Yep... I was pretty sure I am a woman. I wonder why I wasn't insulted?

I guess I wasn't reading it negatively. I just took it to imply that there might be men who train a woman to comply to their wishes, and in doing so they might employ a process that requires them to have a special understanding of her motives, needs, and desires.

*stops and thinks*

Hmmm... why does that sound so familiar?

I do have to point out that I quoted the Wiki article on horse whispering, and not horse behavior. That might make a small difference.

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RE: women whisperer - 10/10/2006 6:15:40 PM

patina

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Would you consider this the same as a person trained in the technique of NVCIP Non-Violent Crisis Intervention Prevention.
Which is used in jails and detention facilities in order to deesculate a fight before it breaks out or even just to help one individual who is getting upset. You must be able to read the sign of unease in a room of aggressive people. Know who is aggitated and be able to seperate them from the others without anyone even that person noticing. To find out what the problem is to fix it without it exploding. It is not easy. Especially with teenage girls.
Give me a dozen teenage boys over 5 teenage girls anyday.

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RE: women whisperer - 10/10/2006 6:41:49 PM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Horse whisper was brought up in another post. Have you women ever came up against a Woman whisperer. How did you handle it?

Yes I have, and it was not about me handling anything, it is about letting him handle me... which is fairly easy.

He does not break me down, he builds me up. He does not boss me around. He is polite and kind to me. He inspires me to submit to him, he does not manipulate me into it.

Edited to add: I feel as though he knows what is wrong from the tone of my voice, it is not like he reads my mind, but he definitely reads me... my whole being. He knows what motivates me, he knows why I submit. and he uses this for the benefit of our dynamic. It sometimes shocks me that he knows the things he knows about how I think. It builds trust that he has not used these things to manipulate me for selfish reasons. It is pretty amazing actually

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 10/10/2006 6:47:13 PM >

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RE: women whisperer - 10/10/2006 6:48:23 PM

catize

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quote:

How did you handle it?

I yelled, "Speak up, Sonny, I can't hear ya!"

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RE: women whisperer - 10/10/2006 7:19:34 PM

Sinergy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Horse whisper was brought up in another post. Have you women ever came up against a Woman whisperer. How did you handle it?

I've known one. I handled it by loving every precious moment.

I wrote a post here about the Sub Whisperer. It was mostly tongue in cheek.

But this thread caught my interest. I have been called the most frequently hit on male instructer at the company I do the women's self defense for. I generally ignore it because the idea kinda squicks me out. I have seen the women at some of their most vulnerable times. While they tend to consider me a Paragon of Male Virtue And Morals And Character And Kindness And Strength, I am aware they only know the mask I wear to teach the class.

Whether or not these things are true is not relevant to how I feel about the whole thing. When I get hit on pretty much all I want to do is go take a shower, beer in hand, and have a long cry.

I have lots of female friends. I have been told by a few of them little tidbits which explain why they find me attractive.

1) I dont have conversations with her breasts.

2) I look them square in the eye with a level, non-threatening, non aggressive gaze.

3) I dont spend most of my time heaping unasked for advice on them.

4) I am non-threatening.

5) They learn over time that if I want something I will ask for it.

6) I accept it when they say "no."

7) I dont try to take away their emotions with idiotic statements like "you should not feel that way." I simply accept their emotions for what they are and wait for them to pass. I am in no hurry.

8) I make it a safe place for her to express her emotions. I dont feel put-upon or threatened by her emotions even when they are about me and negative. I am a fix-it kinda person, so I look for a common middle ground we can all work with.

One of my close female friends one time told me that one of the biggest differences in the way that men and women view each other is best summed up in the following.

"Men think women are going to embarrass them. Women think men are going to hurt or kill them."

So strumpet asks me if I am writing a manual on being a woman whisperer.

Figures she would point out where it is just me and I might be wrong.

Sinergy

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RE: women whisperer - 10/10/2006 9:13:27 PM

MyNameisMaam

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I take the time to really get inside someone's head before we spend time together in a session. I pay such close attention to every detail - the way they breathe, their pulse, when the sweat starts to bead on their forehead, when their hands get warm, or cold, the way their skin shows goosebumps, the way they squirm and what makes them, the look in their eyes, the smile on their face, the way they calm themselves down...everything...I leave exhausted...Never found a Dom who tunes in quite the same way...wish I had

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RE: women whisperer - 10/11/2006 11:01:23 AM

Sinergy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MyNameisMaam

I take the time to really get inside someone's head before we spend time together in a session. I pay such close attention to every detail - the way they breathe, their pulse, when the sweat starts to bead on their forehead, when their hands get warm, or cold, the way their skin shows goosebumps, the way they squirm and what makes them, the look in their eyes, the smile on their face, the way they calm themselves down...everything...I leave exhausted...Never found a Dom who tunes in quite the same way...wish I had

Hello A/all,

I find my DomSpace by tuning in to everything about her. It is a heavenly place to be as tachypsychia and heightened awareness take over.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

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