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Confused Guy - 10/9/2006 9:03:25 PM   
GirlyDevil


Posts: 104
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		Good evening to all,
  I have a male that I've talked with several times online. He states himself as a switch, but when I asked about it he says that he is a sub. Yet when he emails me he uses the term slave. I'm getting confused on what he is. I know that he is definitly not a dominant. He says that he will do whatever in order to please me. Should I give him the benefit of doubt of just being a sub for now? Or go with calling him slave?
  Thank you
    
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RE: Confused Guy - 10/9/2006 9:19:14 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Some people use the terms sub and slave interchangeably. It might help to compare your respective definitions on the terms.

The listing of switch could be for various reasons: some desire to dominate, unease about how submissives are perceived, or to broaden his field.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to GirlyDevil)
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RE: Confused Guy - 10/9/2006 9:46:37 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		Why are you worrying about what to call him if you are attracted to him, and he will do what you want and need him to do?
Call him whatever you'd like if you dom him and you are compatible.  M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to GirlyDevil)
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RE: Confused Guy - 10/10/2006 5:35:36 AM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		It sounds like he may not exactly know what he wants.  Finding out together is half the fun.  Relax, if you like him and he likes you, just go with it.



_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
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RE: Confused Guy - 10/10/2006 9:03:51 AM   
GirlyDevil


Posts: 104
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		Good morning everyone,
  Thank you for the suggestions. Yeah I'm meeting him today for some play time, and as a couple of you have said, I'll just go with it. Thanks

(in reply to DivaDuchess)
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RE: Confused Guy - 10/10/2006 12:58:13 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GirlyDevil

Good evening to all,
I have a male that I've talked with several times online. He states himself as a switch, but when I asked about it he says that he is a sub. Yet when he emails me he uses the term slave. I'm getting confused on what he is. I know that he is definitly not a dominant. He says that he will do whatever in order to please me. Should I give him the benefit of doubt of just being a sub for now? Or go with calling him slave?
Thank you
   

What ever happened to meeting and finding out for yourself rather than taking for granted what someone says they are?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to GirlyDevil)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Confused Guy - 10/10/2006 2:25:21 PM   
Samwhiplash


Posts: 191
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

Some people use the terms sub and slave interchangeably.


I definitely like the word slave. I am very aware of the connotations that go along with sub and with slave... but somehow I find the word slave more exciting regardless of whether it is used in the correct context or applies to the sub/slave in question.

I expect that this may well be the case with this switch. If he is new he may not be aware of the difference, or maybe he understands but also find the word slave to be exciting to sign.

Either way GirlyDevil.... I hope you guys hve safe fun.

< Message edited by Samwhiplash -- 10/10/2006 2:26:04 PM >

(in reply to undergroundsea)
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RE: Confused Guy - 10/10/2006 2:36:24 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		It sounds like he is not even sure of what these things are in his own mind. 
Some boys like the romantic notion of considering  themselves "slave" when, at best, they are a kinky bottom. Well, I guess anybody can call themselves anything they wish, but My relationship, or lack thereof is based on what I think.  Example:  I have friends who are Switches or submissives, but I will only collar and own a "slave".
If you are that interested in him, then I would suggest that all you can do is give him your specific definitions of Switch, submissive and slave.  It is up to you to decide where he falls.  It is not up to him to label himself and then expect you to refer to him according to his whim of the moment.  Since you are in charge, you have to determine how he fits into your expectations and what you would consider him to be.
If he is willing to do anything for you, then this should not be a problem. 

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to GirlyDevil)
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RE: Confused Guy - 10/10/2006 6:09:43 PM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		I've run across a few that find excitement in the word 'slave' ... then they get a taste of what that actually means IRL and off they go running in the oposite direction *lol* ... be patient and things will work out.  Your friend simply sounds like they are exploring inside themselves.  Stick around for the ride and have fun.



_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 9
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