I feel for you mistresses

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

I feel for you mistresses

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> I feel for you mistresses

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

I feel for you mistresses - 10/9/2006 10:03:45 PM

Slavechris25

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline

I have a female friend who wants to explore her dominant side. We spent the night together and I told her about this site. So she decided to set up a profile.
Within minutes she was receiving mail from submissive men. She must have received about 100 emails in 4 hours from so called slaves wanting to give her everything, claiming they will dedicate their lives to her. She didn't even post a picture.
I think a lot of the mail was what slaves have written once and sent to every fem domme on this site. Some were like essays.
So I think I will give up my search to find a mistress now. I have spent a couple of years searching but now I understand why its so difficult. There are just too many men wanting to be slaves or looking for w**k material.
It must be very annoying being a fem domme receiving so much junk mail all the time from these people.
I think pro dommes are the best way for me to explore my submissive side now. It must be near impossible to find a genuine dominant female on this site and all you submissive guys and girls who have found their mistresses are extremely lucky.

Post #: 1

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/9/2006 10:09:52 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

Yeah, it's why I rarely even look to find anyone anymore. There are just too many people creating noise, and it's practically impossible to cut one's way through it.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to Slavechris25)

Post #: 2

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/9/2006 10:17:13 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

Ah yes, the pathetic, miserable existance of the malesub.

Wait, or is it the pathetic, miserable existance of the Domme??

I'm just tired and confused.

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 3

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/9/2006 10:34:17 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

Okay, but be warned that stop seeking and you'll find might be bullshit being sold to you from more assertive men who will go after the women they desire and court her accordingly.
You certainly are making a good choice by beeing seen here on this side. The other thing to do is try to meet women withing your community groups.
Giving up in my opinion will only make you angry/bitter in 5-15years for not getting what you want rather than taking your chances and living life as you learn your way through it. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Slavechris25)

Post #: 4

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/10/2006 3:34:02 AM

needstheOne

Posts: 44
Joined: 10/5/2006
Status: offline

I noticed the same and i endoved to do something different to set me apart. Going to munches and R/L clubs which set up a safe place to learn and play with like minded people is great. My first Mistress and i were very active in the local and not so local scene and found many new friends and playmates. For my First Mistress, who is a Pro Dom, it was a time where she could be with real people that were serious about the scene and not just people who come once or set an appointment and never come. She could relax and be herself. Local clubs are great. But the private play parties are even better because you can show off yourself, in play or servitude, and show your self worthy.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 5

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/10/2006 4:50:08 AM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

Why give up?

If you read all the mails you should have seen that a load of them are rubbish so someone who writes a decent polite e-mail has a very good chance of a reply.
Post on the boards and get known, go to munches and real life events, show sincerity about what you seek and be patient.

Good luck,

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to Slavechris25)

Post #: 6

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/10/2006 5:07:05 AM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: needstheOne

I noticed the same and i endoved to do something different to set me apart.

hmmmmm like what? Make up your own words? (sorry, I just couldn't stop myself)

Yes, as soon as the green light went on my mail box started filling up. But do not be discouranged. It doesn't take long to learn how to sort it all out. First of all the ones from Bumfukistan just get deleted, no sense in even bothering. The ones that can't even be bothered to write a complete, well thought out profile-DELETED. The ones who start by telling me how much they want to worship me and kneel at my feet before they have a clue as to what I'm about-DELETED. (you starting to get the idea?) I can make pretty quick work of 100 emails.

After a bit of this shuffiling I'm left with the ones who stand out as real, honest to goodness human beings who would like to make contact with me (another human being) to see if we have some common ground. So don't give up. If you stand out as a real person you will eventually find the real person looking for you.

(in reply to needstheOne)

Post #: 7

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/10/2006 5:16:04 AM

DivaDuchess

Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

It was a nightmare at first when We joined this site. It took several days to weed through all the crappy trollers. Like many others, We have a specific add. At this time We are not looking for a male slave. But ... wouldn't you know, much of the mail came from male slaves/subs. I was polite at first then ... the BLOCK button became my best friend *lol*.

I've had some nice conversations with female slaves, but nothing earth shattering. What gets me is they come online, chat for a few minutes, then vanish for days *lol*. Don't really care, just find it funny. I wouldn't give up, just go about your business. Post here on the forums and get involved in your local community. Do something IRL, get seen, be noticed. Not pushy ... noticed ... there is a fine line difference *lol*.

In the end ... have fun. Relax and be yourself.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 8

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/10/2006 9:10:03 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

So, how is someone who is genuine giving up the search at all helpful to us? Or, is it simply a convenient reason you can use to justify your feelings of unworthiness?

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Slavechris25)

Post #: 9

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/10/2006 11:23:43 AM

TigerPurrs

Posts: 6
Joined: 9/30/2006
Status: offline

Giving up isn't the right answer. TNStepsout does it almost exactly the way I do. I've been here about two days and I had 4 pages of emails within 24 hours.

I am still getting an average of 5/hour right now. I went through most of them, "hey baby, here I am" and "on my knees" and "will do anything right now to serve you" within a short time. I replied to all of them, but most of the replies were, "no thanks." and that was it. Repeated pestering got them blocked. I've already blocked about 7 men who were just annoying.

I have a handful in my inbox right now that deserve a reply. Perhaps there is a match in there, perhaps not.

Point is, if you try to stand out, and appear something above the ordinary troll, you will get through to some.

Don't call her Mistress in your first email, don't promise her the world, don't beg her, just let your own self shine through.

Good luck.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 10

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/10/2006 11:45:30 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam
So, how is someone who is genuine giving up the search at all helpful to us? Or, is it simply a convenient reason you can use to justify your feelings of unworthiness?
Master Fire

Great point/question! M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 11

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/10/2006 12:47:57 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

What does your giving up searching for a mistress have to do with your friend getting time-wasting emails from a bunch of unscrupulous wankers? "A couple years", while it sounds tremendously long, is hardly anything given that some of us women have been looking for 5-10 years with little tangible result. Me thinks you give up too easily.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Slavechris25)

Post #: 12

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/10/2006 12:49:24 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

So, how is someone who is genuine giving up the search at all helpful to us? Or, is it simply a convenient reason you can use to justify your feelings of unworthiness?

Master Fire

Thank you!!!!!! You said that far better than I did!

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 13

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/10/2006 1:15:16 PM

dicipline2

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

So, how is someone who is genuine giving up the search at all helpful to us? Or, is it simply a convenient reason you can use to justify your feelings of unworthiness?

Master Fire

I agree. I felt just as this guy does because all my emails requesting a chat or something just to get to know someone better went unanswered and I am also younger than most dommes would like.

However, I am not going to give up just because a bunch of guy who are only half serious and just want something to do. I refuse to let these little wimps win that easily.

There are too many true, deserving, and wonderful dommes out there who truly want a sub/slave that is real. I have been on collar me since 2004 with little succes either, but as it was mentioned before, it can take many years to find what you are looking for in BDSM.

my question is this....if your female friend is curious in exploring her dominant side, why did you not....*laughs a bit* volunteer? you know, explore BDSM together? It could have perhaps been due to your friendship, I am not sure and this is why I am asking. I would suggest that you see if she is open to exploring S&M with you.

just a some advice.....lol.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 14

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/10/2006 2:01:22 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dicipline2

I agree. I felt just as this guy does because all my emails requesting a chat or something just to get to know someone better went unanswered and I am also younger than most dommes would like.

However, I am not going to give up just because a bunch of guy who are only half serious and just want something to do. I refuse to let these little wimps win that easily.

There are too many true, deserving, and wonderful dommes out there who truly want a sub/slave that is real. I have been on collar me since 2004 with little succes either, but as it was mentioned before, it can take many years to find what you are looking for in BDSM.

I don't mean to get off topic here...but it is kind of on topic as this addresses why it can be discouraging to a FemDom to receive so many emails and immediately dismiss them. And the boys, in their turn, get discouraged and think they should just quit.
I can't even begin to tell you how many emails I get that are only one or two lines...bad grammar, full of misspellings and an extreme lack of punctuation. The one thing that is fairly consistent is a phone number or a chat ID.
Since I specifically state I do not and will not chat, it amazes Me how many boys think they might be the exception to this rule. I got one the other day that was 2 lines, and I did reply. I told the boy that his impeccable references would be of interest to Me as soon as he wrote a proper letter of introduction. I got a reply the next day stating that he was well known (somehow or the other) and could not send Me a picture, but he sent his phone number. I did not even recognize this person on the second email. It was so careless, and he was so forgettable, that there was not even a point of reference. I questioned who he was. He wrote again stating that I had replied showing great interest and had requested a photo. I checked My sent email at that point, and, of course, I had never requested any such thing. I told him so, and copied and pasted My polite 2 line reply to him as a reminder of what I had actually written. *Shrug* End of story. But certainly a waste of My time!
I appreciate the fact, discipline2, that you may be very sincere. But to request a chat immediately, to Me (remember this is My thing) is taking the lazy way out. It might be convenient for some, and you may even find some bona fide Ladies who are willing to move to IM chat after a few emails. I more or less look at it as the fact that I am not here for your convenience. A few chats on IM, and maybe you will show up for the appointment or maybe you won't. Maybe you will be chatting with a few others, so I am sitting on My end, waiting endlessly for a reply to a question, and then I finally get a simple "Yes, Ma'am", or "No, Ma'am", or "I am not sure, Ma'am". I have to take the road that an immediate request for chat, offer of webcam, or provision of a phone number, means the boy is in a hurry to get off. No more, no less, and not worth My time.
There is a discipline to writing a decent letter and exhibiting the ability to follow through. It is not meant to be easy. We are not in a bar looking for a partner for that night. A little effort goes a long way.
I don't know what you write, but you did mention emails with a request for a chat, to get to know someone better. I can do that just as well, through email. That is My requirement and I make that abundantly clear in My profile. After those hurdles have been met, I will consider moving to the telephone.
For the boys who just want instant chat, I always say no. IMO, that is taking the easy way out. I always think that if a boy is claiming to be submissive, and writes two lines to Me, completely ignoring My requests, yet in those two lines, he is proclaiming his undying readiness to serve me forever, I will already be able to make a reasonable judgement that he is not ready to serve Me as he is already taking shortcuts. I am sure I missed a few good ones along the way, but there is really no other way to weed.
Just some food for thought.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 10/10/2006 2:45:05 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to dicipline2)

Post #: 15

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/10/2006 2:27:46 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold
For the boys who just want instant chat, I always say no. IMO, that is taking the easy way out. I always think that if a boy is claiming to be submissive, and writes two lines to Me, completely ignoring My requests, yet in those two lines, he is proclaiming his undying readiness to serve me forever, I will already be able to make a reasonable judgement that he is not ready to serve Me as he is already taking shortcuts. I am sure I missed a few good ones along the way, but there is really no other way to weed.

We think very much alike. My current line of thinking is that someone who has to tell me what they are usually doesn't demostrate it in anything but their postulative writing. They also do not respect my ability as a seasoned domina to assess and judge a submissive and his worthiness.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 16

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/10/2006 2:49:35 PM

cynthiamarie

Posts: 205
Joined: 3/11/2005
From: Bluefield, WV, USA
Status: offline

quote:

There are just too many men wanting to be slaves or looking for w**k material.
It must be very annoying being a fem domme receiving so much junk mail all the time from these people.
I think pro dommes are the best way for me to explore my submissive side now. It must be near impossible to find a genuine dominant female on this site and all you submissive guys and girls who have found their mistresses are extremely lucky.

Sounds like you're burning out and need to take a break from searching. If visiting a pro-domme will meet your needs for a while, sounds like a good plan. So is exploring with your friend, if she's game; I've learned a lot from male friends who happened to be submissives.

Searching is rough and everything you said about it is true...
we never said it would be easy, just worth it.

If you both don't know of any groups in your area and you're in the USA, go to http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html to find a munch group or type BDSM munch *and your state* on google or something.

I'm taking some downtime right now myself...and spending that time reading, making lots of different types of floggers *yes, I'm greedy, lol* and sizes of cuffs. Btw, all females here get the rush in the first 2 months. After a while she will get the same long form letters over and over again, and both of you will laugh, roll your eyes and moan "on not this one AGAIN." The ones who send the same pic under a dozen different profile names becomes like a game of Where's Waldo.

I'm friends with some people from CollarMe. Believe me, though we aren't compatible for different reasons (some live too far away) they are well worth sifting through all the shiite to find and get to know.

(in reply to dicipline2)

Post #: 17

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/10/2006 7:39:17 PM

LASub4Real

Posts: 169
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

It's as if there were like, 500 guys standing on a broad beach and maybe 30 Mistresses on a small island, just within shouting distance of the beach. A new potential sub male walks up to this deafening cacophony of guys shouting at the Mistresses.

1. Some are shouting, "Hey baby, nice tits! You can dominate me any time!"
2. Others are waving big pictures of their dicks in the air...
3. Some are waiving pictures of other peoples dicks in the air with the word "Mine" printed on them.
4. Some guys are grovelling around on the ground while muttering things like, "I'm a worthless, worthless, worm!" or "Punish me for being alive."
5. There are some holding up long lists of things they want done to them. They are pointing at certain Mistresses and and then pointing at their lists.
6. There are some who seem to be very angry at all of the Mistresses for no apparent reason.

And as the new potential sub sees and hears all of this he, for one moment, he imagines himself in the place of the Mistresses and he feels sick to his stomach. He concludes that in this roar of idiocy he cannot ever be heard, or noticed, let alone appreciated. He doesn't want to be associated with these jackasses. He doesn't want to be seen in this convocation of jackals so... he gives up.

I don't think that he should, but I know that that's what happens very often.

LAsub

(in reply to Slavechris25)

Post #: 18

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/10/2006 7:48:45 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Every one of us goes through the initial deluge of interested email. There are far more submales than there are Femdommes. Giving up your search is a personal decision, but justifying it becasue your friend got too much useless email is really weak.
If you want to make a good impression, differentiate yourself from al the crap we get. I sifted through the mess, and fou d several very worthwhile contacts. Eventualy I met Angel, whom I claimed. It takes time, and it most defiantely takes effort. But you have to make yourself seen, not look at the coempetition throw your hands up and forget about it.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to LASub4Real)

Post #: 19

RE: I feel for you mistresses - 10/10/2006 8:04:31 PM

demistress

Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LASub4Real

It's as if there were like, 500 guys standing on a broad beach and maybe 30 Mistresses on a small island, just within shouting distance of the beach. A new potential sub male walks up to this deafening cacophony of guys shouting at the Mistresses.

1. Some are shouting, "Hey baby, nice tits! You can dominate me any time!"
2. Others are waving big pictures of their dicks in the air...
3. Some are waiving pictures of other peoples dicks in the air with the word "Mine" printed on them.
4. Some guys are grovelling around on the ground while muttering things like, "I'm a worthless, worthless, worm!" or "Punish me for being alive."
5. There are some holding up long lists of things they want done to them. They are pointing at certain Mistresses and and then pointing at their lists.
6. There are some who seem to be very angry at all of the Mistresses for no apparent reason.

And as the new potential sub sees and hears all of this he, for one moment, he imagines himself in the place of the Mistresses and he feels sick to his stomach. He concludes that in this roar of idiocy he cannot ever be heard, or noticed, let alone appreciated. He doesn't want to be associated with these jackasses. He doesn't want to be seen in this convocation of jackals so... he gives up.

I don't think that he should, but I know that that's what happens very often.

LAsub

Too cute, but you forgot my (current) favorite annoying subs, the ones who pout at you for not picking them out of the crowd as special before they do or say anything to appear or come off as such.

Just once, I'd like to see "Hi Mistress, I read your profile in detail, and I have filled mine in. I would be interested in a (household OR client) type relationship, and hope you will be too. If you have time, please review my profile, and feel free to ask me any questions. I am available to meet for a real life interview the following dates and times, if you're at all interested in me. Thank you for your consideration. SLAVE/SUB/HOUSEBOY"

_____________________________

Mistress Heather
www.niteflirt.com/MizzSpice

Wether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!

(in reply to LASub4Real)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> I feel for you mistresses

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094