getting assistnce with dom shortfalls??does it work

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getting assistnce with dom shortfalls??does it work - 10/9/2006 10:09:21 PM

sunnydays

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i am in a loving and commitred relationship.... i have had previous exposure to being a sub and my fiance is learning quickly through discussion and "open adn honest time". He has decided that if i want to i can find another couple/single to have my bsdm scenes with to get the more intience physical side of bdsm as he feels he cannot do it at this time. He wants to be very involved if meeting anyone i think would be suitable, meet them first and set the rules for play.

Has anyone been in a relationship like this and does it work, or are we just dreaming? We have a very stable realtionship based on complete honesty, no matter what.

Does any one have any experiances that tey are able to share that might help wiht something we have not thoguht of. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

sunny

< Message edited by sunnydays -- 10/9/2006 10:11:10 PM >

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RE: getting assistnce with dom shortfalls??does it work - 10/9/2006 10:19:25 PM

Kalira

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From: Fort Wayne Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunnydays

i am in a loving and commitred relationship.... i have had previous exposure to being a sub and my fiance is learning quickly through discussion and "open adn honest time". He has decided that if i want to i can find another couple/single to have my bsdm scenes with to get the more intience physical side of bdsm as he feels he cannot do it at this time. He wants to be very involved if meeting anyone i think would be suitable, meet them first and set the rules for play.

Has anyone been in a relationship like this and does it work, or are we just dreaming? We have a very stable realtionship based on complete honesty, no matter what.

Does any one have any experiances that tey are able to share that might help wiht something we have not thoguht of. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

sunny

Well, yes it can work. And yes, there are others who make it work. I think alot rides on keeping the communication going between you and your fiance. If that breaks down, then your relationship is going to suffer very badly.

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Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
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RE: getting assistnce with dom shortfalls??does it work - 10/10/2006 12:04:32 AM

Mavis

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Sure! Plenty of people have done same. And as mentioned already, it's a communication thing. but then, what isn't?

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RE: getting assistnce with dom shortfalls??does it work - 10/10/2006 1:58:17 AM

becca333

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It can work, but take care, and communicate really clearly to him, and to your new play partners.

Are you involved in the scene? Have you taken him to a munch or a play party to get him comfortable with the idea?

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RE: getting assistnce with dom shortfalls??does it work - 10/10/2006 2:22:06 AM

RiotGirl

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my experience tells me you should go check out the poly forums

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RE: getting assistnce with dom shortfalls??does it work - 10/10/2006 4:54:13 AM

TNstepsout

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I know several poly couples and they have each worked things out in a way that both of them feel comfortable with.It takes communication and a little work. You have to set some ground rules. As in, how often will you get to see them? Will he need to meet them? (always a good one) Who comes first if there is a scheduling conflict? How far will their control extend into your personal life? etc....

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RE: getting assistnce with dom shortfalls??does it work - 10/10/2006 9:21:09 AM

MasterFireMaam

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There has been someone involved in every kind of relationship you can think of. Here's my example that relates to your situation:
my girl anne is het. I am bi. This means that she's not a sexual partner. I find sexual partners elsewhere. her husband is no longer a sexual partner and they have an open marriage. she has a sexual Dominant that's both outside our relationship as well as her marriage (everyone knows everyone; we call this ethical poly).

she and I don't live together...hell, we're almost a country apart with her out west and me on the east coast. This means that we can't meet each other's SM needs either. she has an SM Dominant outside out relationship. I have other play partners as well.

What we DO fulfill in each other is the Master/slave spiritual bonds, mostly through my guidance of her daily life and her service to her local community. I don't expect her to end any of these relationships when I move closer to her, if they help fulfill her. I care about her wellbeing. This is what poly is about, to me.

All this wouldn't work if there was no communication. That's the key to any relationship, especially poly.

Master Fire

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RE: getting assistnce with dom shortfalls??does it work - 10/10/2006 3:18:22 PM

sunnydays

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thank you all for your help. my Master has read these and feels much happier that we have preapred our relationship for this situation.

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