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i need some advice - 1/22/2005 4:14:41 PM

mercxi

Posts: 23
Joined: 1/19/2005
Status: offline

me and this girl who I just started seeing are both interested in bdsm. Actually i have more of an interest and she is curious to try it. She already does some rough stuff like taking control and hair pulling. I have two problems that I need advice with. the first question is how do i go about going from just rough stuff to bdsm? and how do I ask her if I can dom once or twice?

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RE: i need some advice - 1/22/2005 4:29:17 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
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answer to number one. Well for starters you can try bondage. Rope, duct tape and blind folds are fun to work with. You can also try wax play and spanking.

Answer to the 2nd question. This may or may not work depending if she is a switch herself but this would be my shot at it.

"Baby I trust you and enjoy what you're doing. I'd even like to take things to a progressivly higher level. I'd like to show and do a few things to you that I want you to do to me later."

However you want to get her to be the sub, don't say things like " Baby I like it BUT..........." The work But, well, and however, tend to show critiqueing versus offering a suggestion to getting a desired result.

Good luck in taking charge from time to time in this relationship.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to mercxi)

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RE: i need some advice - 1/22/2005 10:31:21 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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Your first question is easy.... You bring her to sites such as this and get her reading. If BDSM is her need, too, she'll take to it like a duck to water!

Your second question is tougher.... It's really a matter of if she's capable of switching. Dom, switch or sub is not a learned art, IMO, it's something you either are or aren't! You can try simply asking or refer to my first answer.... If she has a need to submit as well, she'll probably ask you!

Focus50.

(in reply to mercxi)

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RE: i need some advice - 1/23/2005 3:20:56 PM

Amethystt

Posts: 15
Joined: 1/15/2005
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I would say for ?#1, that you just add a little bit more to it. Try duct tape or neck ties to tie her up. Something simple to step it up a notch but still fun. For your ?#2, I would say talk to her. The best D/s relationships are gonna be based on two things... trust and good communication. Tell her what you are thinking. Tell her, you find it exciting and see what she says or how she feels. If she is positive about it you are on your way. If she has doubts or concerns address them. Could be a very exciting and bonding (pardon the pun) experience for both of you.

< Message edited by Amethystt -- 1/23/2005 3:22:44 PM >

(in reply to Focus50)

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