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i need ideas please - 10/11/2006 10:18:02 AM   
makwa


Posts: 13
Joined: 9/30/2006
Status: offline 		i need some ideas.  we have been together for a while now and he is my Master/ Leader of our house.  here is the issue.  i have for years (about 15years) a fantasy that i want to share with him.  however i am not sure how he would feel about it.  in many circles its not approved of.  how do you suggest i bring this up to him.  as the years go by i seem to be thinking of this fantasy more and more.  i never want his disapproval and hiding it from his is bad also.  what do i do?  please help   
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RE: i need ideas please - 10/11/2006 10:26:23 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Next time you're having dinner talk/chilling on the couch time/cuddle in bed talk time- just say "Hey there's this fantasy I really want to share with you but it's pretty out there so I've held back on telling you before now"

Then go from there.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to makwa)
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RE: i need ideas please - 10/11/2006 10:26:50 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I can about guess what it is.

You are caught between a rock and a hard place.  I would frankly and forthrightly tell him. 

One of two things will occur, he will be ok with it, or he will not.

Either, while concieveably uncomfortable, is not a life and death matter, it is a growth of some type.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to makwa)
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RE: i need ideas please - 10/11/2006 10:27:42 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I do not know your master, only you know how he reacts to things, but I would think that most dominants that I have seen talk about this topic welcome hearing fantasies, even ones they would not want to help you act upon. Sometimes the more taboo we think the fantasy is, the more we dwell upon it. Vocalizing the fantasy can make it seem less taboo and perhaps you would dwell less on fulfilling it? I know that is true of me.

I have a lot of fantasies that I would not act upon, but I do not feel it is "bad" to have them. I would couch talking about it in those terms, by telling your master that you have these thoughts, and you wanted to share them even though you have no desire to act upon them

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to makwa)
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RE: i need ideas please - 10/11/2006 10:31:33 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		to extend what julia said, while it may not be that he would do the whole kit and kaboodle, he may do something that is reminiscent enough of the fantasy (within HIS BOUNDARIES AND LIMITS AND EDGES) that you could have your rocks off.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: i need ideas please - 10/11/2006 10:32:21 AM   
Argentopal


Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline 		Dear Makwa,

I am sub to my Daddy and also a switch.  I don;t know if this will help you or not, but it is how I appraoch something like this and how I would want my boy to approach me.
First of all, I would not want my boy to be worried or fret about it, I would not want him to be afraid of coming to me.  If it is an idea that I hate or am even unconfortable with, it is my perogotive to say no.  I would much rather have it out in the open where we can at least discuss the reasons who or why not than to ahve them wondering and keeping something from me that just might be in within my scope to grant.

Now, as my Daddy's sub, He does want me to be as open as I can possibly be with him.  He does not grant all requests, but he wants to be able to listen to me and think about things I may want.  SOmetimes we use emails or chats as a way to say things that might be difficult to say face to face.  Sometimes we just sit quietly together and he might hold my head on his lap and let me talk about problems or different things.  We used to call this "free time" and I knew i could talk about anything at all with out fear or any repercussions.  I usually start by simply saying ... "I need to talk to you, please."

Since this is a fantsy of yours, what about writing it out as a short story, 3rd person, so it is non -threatening, and let him read it.  He might respond by saying .. wow, that would be cool.  or ... yuk.  either way you'd have a read on his point of view.

good luck.
MsOpal

(in reply to makwa)
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RE: i need ideas please - 10/11/2006 10:32:42 AM   
adommeforu


Posts: 847
Status: offline 		How true that is Julia; I don't imagine that there is one of U/us at one time or another, who has not thought that something that crossed O/our minds was unique to U/us and wondered how another would react. Get it out there Makwa, and lighten your burden one way or the other.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: i need ideas please - 10/11/2006 11:17:12 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

i need some ideas.  we have been together for a while now and he is my Master/ Leader of our house.  here is the issue.  i have for years (about 15years) a fantasy that i want to share with him. 


makwa,
In my eyes a secret, especially one involving an aspect of our relationship dynamic, is the same as a lie. You would not be subverting your Master's decision making authority by disclosing your fantasy. If anything you are subverting it by NOT disclosing it. Until you have done so, you have not been 'naked' before him. Ultimately he will determine if your fantasy becomes reality; with consideration to all other aspects of the relationship you have with him. Until you disclose this issue, you are the 'master' in control of this aspect of your psyche.

(in reply to makwa)
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RE: i need ideas please - 10/11/2006 5:58:27 PM   
DelRey


Posts: 314
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth


makwa,
In my eyes a secret, especially one involving an aspect of our relationship dynamic, is the same as a lie. You would not be subverting your Master's decision making authority by disclosing your fantasy. If anything you are subverting it by NOT disclosing it. Until you have done so, you have not been 'naked' before him. Ultimately he will determine if your fantasy becomes reality; with consideration to all other aspects of the relationship you have with him. Until you disclose this issue, you are the 'master' in control of this aspect of your psyche.


Nothing left to be said after that post !

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: i need ideas please - 10/11/2006 7:54:15 PM   
mystictryst


Posts: 125
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think not sharing it is a lie... Only the OP knows his/her reasons for not sharing...

When I have fantasies, I am usually too shy to share them outright... So I've taken to sharing them while we are being intimate... I'll just suggest the thought.. "Sometimes I think about..." If he picks up on it and is interested in it, he takes the lead... I can tell if it is something he thinks about too or if it is something that isn't his cup of tea... :)

(in reply to DelRey)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: i need ideas please - 10/11/2006 8:55:01 PM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		I have hard limits, everyone does.  However, one of them is a slave that cannot give totally.  Mind, body, soul, spirit, heart ... the list goes on.  If there is something that she's perhaps, feeling a fantasy about, she would need to tell me as her thoughts and fantasies are mine to decide what to do with.

Ultimately, you know your Master and what He is likely to react badly to.  But you should still tell Him.  Give Him the chance to hear the thoughts that belong to Him anyways.


_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to mystictryst)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: i need ideas please - 10/12/2006 5:46:00 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		I'd suggest finding a short pornographic story that centers around your fantasy, tell him you think it is "hot" and ask him to read it. This is a bit of indirection --  you won't be trying to describe it while fearing a bad reaction from him, and it reveals your fantasy while framing it as you liking the product of author's imagination rather than it being only your own depraved craving.

This should start a conversation and you can see where it leads.


_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to makwa)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: i need ideas please - 10/12/2006 9:12:25 AM   
NYMaster101


Posts: 107
Joined: 7/11/2005
Status: offline 		There is nothing wrong with making your needs known. 

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: i need ideas please - 10/12/2006 10:10:22 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I have a feeling the fantasy isn't something that includes the master or is way outside the normal realm of play like being with a large black dog.

(in reply to NYMaster101)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: i need ideas please - 10/15/2006 2:00:43 AM   
shadevarr


Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline 		I would suggest writing the piece of erotica yourself and have your master proof-read it. His reaction and comments should tell you if you should continue to pursue it or if it should just be tossed aside. If he is smart, he will clue in as he finishes reading it and ask you if this is something that you wish to explore.  This way, not only to do get to tell him what you want, but you also get to please him by giving him something naughty to read and possibly he may be proud of you for your literary skills.

(in reply to CrappyDom)
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RE: i need ideas please - 10/15/2006 3:08:05 PM   
xxangeltearsxx


Posts: 13
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		rather than telling him of your fantasys or interest, just mention that you read something on the subject and was curious what he thought about it.  that way if he's really against it you'll know, and he won't think less of you for your interest.  and if it should appeal to him, then you could ask if he'd like to try it with you or watch while you try it.

(in reply to shadevarr)
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RE: i need ideas please - 10/15/2006 5:34:40 PM   
hypnoticblue


Posts: 130
Joined: 9/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxangeltearsxx

rather than telling him of your fantasys or interest, just mention that you read something on the subject and was curious what he thought about it.  that way if he's really against it you'll know, and he won't think less of you for your interest.  and if it should appeal to him, then you could ask if he'd like to try it with you or watch while you try it.


THAT, in my personal opinion is just as bad as lying.  If it's a fantasy, say that.  That's what it is.  Don't lie about it and say you haven't been thinking about it for however long. 

(in reply to xxangeltearsxx)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: i need ideas please - 10/15/2006 10:20:31 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		Maybe it would work to ask him to tell you his fantasies first then you will tell yours. Good luck with it.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to makwa)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: i need ideas please - 10/15/2006 10:33:42 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

i need some ideas.  we have been together for a while now and he is my Master/ Leader of our house.  here is the issue.  i have for years (about 15years) a fantasy that i want to share with him. 


makwa,
In my eyes a secret, especially one involving an aspect of our relationship dynamic, is the same as a lie. You would not be subverting your Master's decision making authority by disclosing your fantasy. If anything you are subverting it by NOT disclosing it. Until you have done so, you have not been 'naked' before him. Ultimately he will determine if your fantasy becomes reality; with consideration to all other aspects of the relationship you have with him. Until you disclose this issue, you are the 'master' in control of this aspect of your psyche.

In total agreement here.  Nothing remains undisclosed.  Denying him areas of your mind denies him the ability to master you completely.

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 10/15/2006 10:34:03 PM >

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: i need ideas please - 10/16/2006 1:09:30 PM   
makwa


Posts: 13
Joined: 9/30/2006
Status: offline 		Thank yo everyone for your help and ideas.... 

chi miigwetch  (thank you very much)
makwa

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 20
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