Saratov
Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
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Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about
Nebraska...
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May, you live in Nebraska.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you
assistance and they don't work there, you live in
Nebraska.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
you live in Nebraska.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with
someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in
Nebraska.
If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of
GRAND ISLAND for the weekend, you live in Nebraska.
If you measure distance in squares of farm land, you
live in Nebraska.
If you know several people who have hit a cow more
than once, you live in Nebraska.
If you have gone from "heat" to "A/C" in the
same day and back again, you live in Nebraska.
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow
during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live
in Nebraska.
If you install security lights on your house and
garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in Nebraska.
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife
knows how to use them, you live in Nebraska.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to
fit over a snowsuit, you live in Nebraska.
If the I-80 speed limit is 75 mph -- you're
going 90 and everybody is passing you, you live in
Nebraska.
If driving is better in the winter because the
potholes are filled with snow, you live in Nebraska.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter,
winter, still winter and road construction, you live
in Nebraska.
If you have more hours on your snow blower than
miles on your car, you live in Nebraska.
I f you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you live in
Nebraska.
If you understand these jokes, and forward them to
all your Nebraska friends & others, you actually have
lived in Nebraska (Or any number of other "Upper Midwestern" states).
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