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TreSwank -> The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Landscaping (10/12/2006 7:32:47 AM)
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New London's ambience is that of a purgatorial hothouse, conducive to the cultivation of all things lacking in spirit: alcoholism, prostitution, self-loathing, apathy, cocaine. Now, I've claimed to hate alot of things, mind you, but I despise New London's inertia most of all. At least the Big Apple serves up an exhaustive palette of variety with it's alienation, but here........here is a Stygian crossroads that makes "The Glass Menagerie" seem like a feel-good, seventies sitcom.
I've started to get way too comfortable New London........complacent.......stagnant........a domesticated animal. Nowadays, I'm not sure if I could differentiate between the stench of a crackwhore's polluted snapper, and a bouquet of mountain-fresh, sunshine-nurtured wildflowers. My once-keen sense of emotional discernment is shot all to hell from rainy weekends spent saucing it up with old, curmudgeonly drunkards at Earnie's Cafe................Selah. They all wear mismatched Salvation Army throwaways, and steel-toe boots for the hellish Labor Ready work parties.
Most of these winos earn their beloved booze subsidies from excursions to "landscaping" or "construction" sites. Ask any homeless sot in New London what he does for a living, and I'll bet you a buffalo nickel that he'll tell you "landscaping." I've gotta say that landscaping itself is an honest, honorable profession, but in this seaside town, it's pretty much a term synonymous with, "I'm a heavy drinkin' bum."
A few weeks ago, I met a young woman in another local dive joint, who claimed to be an "independent contractor." Now, when I think "independent contractor," I think of specialized fields that involve heavy manual labor, or an extensive knowledge of some recondite, hard-to-find skill. To make a long story short, upon further investigation, I learned that the NewLondonSpeak dictionary considers one of the acceptable definitions of "independent contractor" to be STRIPPER. Reminds me of a line from one of the worst comedies ever made: "Don't try to spice up your name, Joe Dirt!!"
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