RE: When to take that chance?

RE: When to take that chance? (Full Version)

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Littlepita -> RE: When to take that chance? (10/12/2006 11:47:44 AM)
I have told my story before, but I will again because I love it so much. [:)]I met my Dom online when I was looking for an editor to an erotic story I was writing. He offered to help me edit the story. It only took two days online for me to say, "hey this one is special; this one is different" It was about a month and I knew I was in love with him and that I wanted to embark on the lifestyle of D/s with him. It took 10 months of arranging our lives to get me to him. We have been incredibly happy living together for a little over 7 months now. We did things that we would never recommend to anyone. Like we never met face to face before moving in together. There are reasons why and there was a plan if it didn't work for us. Fortunately it did and I am so very grateful to have this amazing man as my Daddy, Sir, and Love.

SlaveAkasha -> RE: When to take that chance? (10/12/2006 12:42:48 PM)
I feel as though I am an expert at this question. I have been blasted a lot for a choice I made in June to move and be with someone after not meeting. That did end in a horrible way, I have never denied that. I could have walked away right then and given up. What I did instead, was just take some time and enjoy myself on the boards, and heal. I turned my profile off, and just spent time not looking. After some time, I decided it was again the right time for me to turn it back on and allow people to write me. I didn't go out looking, but I did get a lot of emails. I talked to several people, but didn't rush into making a commitment. Then one night I was sitting here when I got an email. Turns out this person had been following my profile for a while now. He had taken time and read my journals, and pretty much knew already a lot that was going on with me. We started talking a lot, tons, actually. We decided that we would meet and see what happened after that. This is just what we did this past weekend. Everything went great, I am now collared and belong to him. I don't take a collar from just anyone, I haven't had one before at all.. even from the one I moved to be with. I can't change what my feelings are, and I won't try to. I won't apologize and I won't make excuses for the way that I feel. I don't know how you decide to take a chance. I didn't make the choice, it just sort of happened. I could sit here scared for the rest of my life, in the worry that this won't last for many years, or I could enjoy the time I have with him. I am very secure in myself, and know that I would be fine alone. With that though, I also know that he enriches my life and I hope I bring the same thing to him. We are both taking a chance, but I don't think life is much fun without them. It could happen after one meeting, or a hundred.. it could happen never. That is all just part of life, and you learn to take lessons from the things that didn't work out, and put those towards making the next one work. Not sure if that made any sense at all.. Akasha

onestandingstill -> RE: When to take that chance? (10/12/2006 1:19:41 PM)
I think when my one stands before me and ilicits my submissive response I will be ready to commit in a few months. That will only happen if he's already all I think I need in a Master before we move together as more than friends. I seem to talk to many a man that's a percentage of that which I seek. I tried relationships with those that met over 80% of my needs in the beginning before. This time if I can't see him without a red flad. Not one. I will not proceed no matter how long we are friends. When I feel his hand on my heart, when I feel my pulse quicken and that I begin to sweat just standing next to him, and see in his actions he lives to the standards I seek then I'll be ready and not one second before. suzanne

jesskitty -> RE: When to take that chance? (10/12/2006 2:18:56 PM)
i took a chance when i felt comfortable enough to. my daddy and i live in two different parts of the country, he in washington state and me in texas. we actually started out as phonesex partners and i wanted to keep it strictly a friends with benefits thing even though as we started to talk outside of that i just felt connected to him. months latter i start to feel extremly attached to him but i was trying my best to hide it. afterwards i ralized that we fit well in various aspects of life and share similiar ideas as well as him amazingly being into the whole daddy/daugther relationship. i felt that when i was in a comfortable enough position with him and he was with me and we have shared certain parts of ourselves that we could go to the next step. i belive if you have a good foundation with someone and feel regardless of your choice your ready to proununce your feelings for them then go for it! being comfortable enough/having a good foundation with someone depends on the people i belive but that's my thoughts on when things should progress

r4l884slave -> RE: When to take that chance? (10/13/2006 5:38:05 PM)
I agree it shouldnt be rushed into-but also that if you get a certain feeling about someone-you shouldnt wait forever for that real meeting-because maybe Things are meant to Be that way--I am a firm believer that everything is for a reason, and to follow instincts-carefully of course. I dont think you should Ever meet somewhere private or arrange to 'play' first meeting. If it happens, it happens-youll both know-that look........

LTRsubNW -> RE: When to take that chance? (10/13/2006 5:41:30 PM)
Littlepita...I just want to say...my feet are in love with your feet...and we want to marry your feet.

sapphirepleasure -> RE: When to take that chance? (10/13/2006 6:01:58 PM)
I just met someone (a Master) who came all the way from Europe and spent three days with me. We had been talking online and by phone since April and we both felt it was time to meet. He's been planning to relocate to the U.S. but wants to be careful and wise about how we progress with a new, untested relationship so we agreed to take the 'next step'--he'll come back (probably in December) for a longer visit (1-3 months) and if it goes well and we are able to move into a commitment, he will relocate here, probably in the spring. So for us, taking it in stages and evaluating and learning each other before making it permanent seems to be working very well. sp

KnifeCandy -> RE: When to take that chance? (10/13/2006 7:23:26 PM)
I will start by saying that I am, by nature, one who seeks adventure. I am also one who prefers to view "failed" adventures as learning experiences, rather than regrets. I have moved 1200 miles before to be with a man. That did not work out, even though I had known him, in person, for several years previous (he moved away, and I followed, although we'd never lived together before). So I spent a year and a half in Chicago, learned a lot about myself, and had a couple of other good relationships come out of it before moving back to my home state. Now, I am on the cusp of doing something similar. I've been in a somewhat unfulfilling, but open (vanilla) relationship for the last couple of years. I wasn't looking for anyone to replace my boyfriend...but I've found someone anyway. DBF knows I've been unhappy, and is the type to help me pack, rather than put up a fuss over my decision to leave, so I am free on that front. Here I am now, staring down the possibility of another 1,000+ mile move to be with a man (a wonderful Dom, although oddly enough we met via a vanilla site) whom I've known for a little over a month (although it will likely be closer to a year before I actually move). In doing my requisite soul searching, I've decided that, as a mature, capable adult with no ties that really require me to stay here (I will be leaving my mother, but she is still capable of self-care at this point), I can easily embark on this as an adventure. It may work out. It may not. Naturally, I'm going to give it my all, and do my absolute best to ensure that we last a long, long time to come. If it should occur, however, that things do not work out, I have no reason to see it as the end of the world. A huge inconvenience? Absolutely. But if it doesn't work, I'll just move somewhere else, and try a different life for a while (most likely on my own, although I wouldn't rule out moving to be with another person). I guess I'm somewhat nomadic by nature, although I really HATE the actual process of moving, so I'm equally at ease settling in for a decade or so at a stretch. I guess what I'm saying is, once you've done some prerequisite research (ensured that the person isn't a serial killer, pathological liar, abuser, etc.), spent enough time with them to determine that you're going to be able to stand to live with them for more than a few weeks without being at each others' throats, and have no kids or job or other commitments to prevent you from leaving, the only thing left is your own mental attitude. Some people can hack it, some can't, and while I'm more adventurous than most, I'm all for sticking with your comfort level where that's concerned (although I do believe self-limiters might be missing out on things. just a bit :). What I see more often affecting a person's decision, though, is the job/kids/commitments issue. I am very fortunate not to have these in my life at this time (well, the no kids has been by design, not just good fortune :), and feel that I'd actually be doing myself a disservice if I DIDN'T pursue this relationship for all its worth while I'm young and able. Just my 10 cents' worth (a little verbose for 2 cents, don't you think? ;) KC

KnightofMists -> RE: When to take that chance? (10/13/2006 7:35:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darkinshadows When do you know it's worth pursuing? Rather simple actually.... when ones perception views the probability of Happiness outweighting the risk of Disappointment or worse.

darkinshadows -> RE: When to take that chance? (10/14/2006 4:34:22 AM)
I am both fascinated and amazed by the responses - that you all... It is really wonderful (IMO) to see positive posts about time frames and how personal they are. Just to add... Knightof Mists - that was a wonderful statement. And very wise. Pita... I love hearing your experience time and again... Peace and Rapture

satiepangie -> RE: When to take that chance? (10/14/2006 4:55:19 AM)
ello?

satiepangie -> RE: When to take that chance? (10/14/2006 4:56:44 AM)
sorry new to the chating on forums since chathouse.com

Littlepita -> RE: When to take that chance? (10/14/2006 5:34:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW Littlepita...I just want to say...my feet are in love with your feet...and we want to marry your feet. Ok, but my toes demand diamonds or some other equally appropriate bling. [;)]

Rayne58 -> RE: When to take that chance? (10/14/2006 6:25:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse dark, that is a great question. I think it is one that many people wrestle with more and more because of this whole internet thing. I am not sure I have a really good answer though. For me, I seem to get a feeling an awareness of the person thru their words. There are things that pop up that either create more interest or less and it is not even something I look for deliberately. I am just aware that I do. When the person is consistant and becomes multi-dimensional. I begin to get a feeling for the body behind the pixels. With some it happens very quickly and others take awhile. It seems to take less time to weed out the obvious "oh thank you god that this person is not my neighbour!" than some others but I think in time it becomes very obvious that it is either a person you would like to spend time getting to know or not. There are many on here I would really love to spend time with. That's sort of what happened when I met Master. We met on the forums of another site back in 2002 when I joined. I posted in a thread He was following and He welcomed me to the site and led me to another thread in one of the chattier forums that He posted on. It was a thread for Aussies and I am a Kiwi. I lived in a small rural area in NZ and He was in Sydney. We became friends and I found myself looking out for His posts and kind of following Him around the forums (little did I know He was doing the same![:D]) I didn't even know He was a Dom. He never posted much on the BDSM forums and I didn't even go there at that stage....lol too scared of the "weird folks" [;)][:D] It was a few months before He even mentioned He was into BDSM. My previous LDR with a guy in NZ had fallen through by then (long story[8\|]). He was organising a get together of people who posted on the Aussies thread and He invited me to come over to meet everyone. There were about 4 months to wait between the time I booked my flight and the actual meet. During those 4 months we became close. Emails and PMs most days, chat on Yahoo most nights. He told me all about His health problems - I did research on dialysis, diabetes, kidney failure as well as BDSM. I also decided to extend my stay from 2 to 3 weeks as we got to know each other. One or two of the other members of the site had met Him before and told me how lovely He was. He gave me His full name, phone number (landline), and address which I gave to a close friend and we agreed if she did not receive a text message from me every day at around the same time she was to get in touch with the police [:)] It was my first flight, first time out of NZ. Oh I was so nervous (and so was He!) As soon as I saw Him I knew, and the first time He hugged me I just felt like I belonged there. Three days into my visit I knew I was coming back, despite the fact that He had had 3 hypos by then and one I had to call an ambulance for! The parting at the airport was really hard, though I didn't cry until I got on the plane[:(] It took 6 weeks to organise my move back to Him. We have been together almost 3 years now and are getting married in less than 2 months. It was like it was pre-ordained somehow. My elderly parents had just moved to be near my brother and closer to medical help for my father, whose health had declined in the preceding couple of years. My son was grown up and my daughter was nearly 16 and happily bossing her father around. I was unemployed, and renting. There was almost nothing holding me in the place where I had lived for most of my life. So I took the chance, and there are absolutely no regrets [:)]

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