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DameDarkness -> Inner Struggles (1/23/2005 8:54:35 AM)
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Wakening of feelings.
Confussion engulfing me.
The wonderment of such feelings existing.
Internal fights.
Outward is a look of peace.
Crazed confussion inside taking over.
HELP I dont know how to stop the confussion.
No one sees the beatings.
Outside still look fine.
Looking happy.
But feeling lost.
Feeling hurt.
Feeling Pained.
Dominance striving to kill feelings that I have no use for really.
Can I over come them?
I can not allow my feelings to be there.
They only get me into trouble.
I can not go through what i did so many years ago because I cared.
I can not live in the past and have to allow myself to care again.
The struggle continues with what you have awoken.
The only way to be free is to kill the feelings that have been awoken.
But how.
How did i kill them the last time?
How did I shut them away into that inner dark place behind the walls of death?
I have to throw them back into that darkened pit of no where that is internally.
I can not love.
I can not care.
I can not let others into my life.
For all they ever do is hurt me.
I have no trust for humans.
I have no trust for what they call is friends, lovers, etc.
I MUST shut them away from my heart.
And yet I want to love.
I want to care.
I want to let others into my life.
I want to have trust for humans.
I want to trust others for what they call is friends, lovers etc.
Can I really shut them away from my heart?
The struggle deepens day by day.
The pain is constantly rising from the defening yelling that goes on inside me.
Which will win?
Or shall I go insane from the confussion of the desperate attempts to change?
Dame Darkness[sm=kiss.gif]
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