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My Sub (newbie)Virginity Issue - 1/23/2005 1:10:11 PM   
Lighttouch2000


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/20/2005
Status: offline 		Hello,
I have an issue..my sub woh is serving me is a 23 yr.old vigin.and she wishes to keep her viginity..this is not a problem with me although she is worried that she will lose it..by my hands,dildo..ect..how can i dismiss her fears?We are safe,and consensual. I dont want to lose her over this issue and I care about her very much cause she is trying hard to be a good sub and please my every whim.Your advice would be greatly appreciated on this matter.
Thank you
Lighttouch2000 (sensual Dom)
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: My Sub (newbie)Virginity Issue - 1/23/2005 5:18:11 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		If she equates breaking of the hymen with losing her vigrinity over actual penis penetration being the point of loss of vigrinity then simple..don't use dildos, vibrators or your hands inside her...

There are plenty of adult sex toys on the market that are effect stimuli but without the need for penetration.

Good luck.

Jasmyn

(in reply to Lighttouch2000)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: My Sub (newbie)Virginity Issue - 1/23/2005 5:25:34 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		Assure her you will -not- penetrate her under any circumstances. It sounds like you have the trust there, so a firm assurance should do it.

Oh, also, perhaps assure her that you can enjoy everything without penetration. I know if I were in that situation I'd worry you weren't enjoying anything b/c I didn't want to be penetrated.

< Message edited by perverseangelic -- 1/23/2005 5:26:19 PM >

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to Jasmyn)
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RE: My Sub (newbie)Virginity Issue - 1/23/2005 9:46:25 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		Dear Lighttouch,
I would say she needs to trust you NOT TO insert anything in her vaginally, until she states she is ready...
I would imagine if she doesn't want to lose virginity by penis (for intact hymen's sake), she wouldn't want to lose it by hands/dildo/vibrator either, so don't use them. M

(in reply to Lighttouch2000)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: My Sub (newbie)Virginity Issue - 1/23/2005 11:59:51 PM   
tabbycat


Posts: 23
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline 		Speaking as a virgin (sigh ) myself I can understand her fears. Just try to be understanding and listen to her (as it seems you have been). I think that over time when the trust builds and she feels the commitment she'll let you know when she's ready for more. As others have said, and wisely so, she needs some extra reassurence. Good luck with everything and take care!

~tabbycat

(in reply to Lighttouch2000)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: My Sub (newbie)Virginity Issue - 1/24/2005 4:34:33 AM   
domtimothy46176


Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline 		My girl wasn't a virgin when she came to me but she had only had one previous relationship that included penetration. The first few nights she stayed with me she barely slept. I told her I wasn't interested in anything she wasn't willing to give whole-heartedly, rolled over and went to sleep, leaving her to decide for herself whether to sleep or stay awake on guard all night.
Within a week or so, she decided for herself that I meant what I said. In this type of situation perhaps trust is a mixture of faith and observation. If she's particularly skittish you might suggest that you'll allow her to wear a chastity device and keep the key in a secure place you have no knowledge of *EG*.
Best of luck with your girl,
Timothy

(in reply to Lighttouch2000)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: My Sub (newbie)Virginity Issue - 2/21/2005 9:23:05 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Excuse My post in the Masters section~

The hyman can be a very delicate peice of skin and it can be broken by objects such as fingers or even by the labia and vagina swelling up with the blood flow befor ejaculation or the dialation of the cervex stimulated by sexual play. In certain circles the issue of virginity unfortunatly is still thought of as the hyman being in place and any object being placed into the womans vagina accounts for her no longer being a virgin, not just a cock and this is what sounds to be the issue. Dealing with a Womans physical as well as moral issues collectivly with in Our Lifestyle takes courage and a hugh amount of trust and understanding. ( My hats off to Your doing such and respecting the issue and addressing it here. )Keep in mind that not only is there the issue of the hyman being in place but also transmitted diseases that can be caught from toys and fingers not being properly cleaned or viruses, like those that are bacterial in origin. For example, “genital warts,” or human papiloma virus (HPV) is spread not only by sexual contact and by any item not clean and has the virus on it but by lying, naked for example, on an unsterilized tanning bed. HPV has been associated with cervical cancer in women, often necessitating a hysterectomy, perhaps at a young-enough age to preclude any opportunity of having children in a later committed lifelong relationship.
And these are just a couple of samples that would keep your newbie virgin a nervous wreck. JMPO~ Good Luck to the both of you.....

(in reply to Lighttouch2000)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: My Sub (newbie)Virginity Issue - 2/22/2005 7:04:57 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		As I tell everyone I'm with, Sex isn't going to happen untill we are both ready for it. With one sub we went a Month of me tieing her up and doing other things than sex before we became active. Infact, with another sub, we never had sex. I'd tie her up, spank her, bite her all over, and some oral but the act never happen. However, we still had a wonderful time and are still friends. After all, I did introduce her to her now Husband.

As already stated, you're just going to have to assure her a few things

1. We won't be drunk or under any influence

2. It won't happen without consent saying that she's ready

3. She'll have 15 minuets to rethink things after she says she's ready.

For now just do other things, enjoy oral sex, and continue to make her as horney as hell without suggesting sex. Sooner or later, she's going to jump ya. Oh knows, maybe you two will end up getting married.

Good luck.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Lighttouch2000)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: My Sub (newbie)Virginity Issue - 2/23/2005 5:24:31 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lighttouch2000
how can i dismiss her fears?

You don't dismiss fears. If she feels losing her virginity would entail ANY penetration of ANY kind, that's her choice. That's why people choose to get into limited relationships. There's no rush here.

quote:

We are safe,and consensual. I dont want to lose her over this issue and I care about her very much cause she is trying hard to be a good sub and please my every whim.Your advice would be greatly appreciated on this matter.
Thank you
Lighttouch2000 (sensual Dom)

Get to know why this is a big issue for her and let her come to terms on it in her own time. Get her exposed to sex as both the raunchy stuff and a loving connective intimacy. She likely will want it soon enough anyway, until then there's plenty of manual, oral and anal pleasure you can still employ.

(in reply to Lighttouch2000)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: My Sub (newbie)Virginity Issue - 2/23/2005 5:27:44 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Just to note: most women don't have their hymens by the time they are in their 20s anyway, it's a fragile tissue and can break from tampons or bicycling and other physical activity. I tend to think virginity is more an emotional issue than a physical one.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 10
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