RE: 10 to 1

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Najakcharmer -> RE: 10 to 1 (10/14/2006 3:21:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn I say this over and over again, but my belief is that the ration of sincere submissives to sincere dominants is pretty close to 1 to 1. It's everyone else that claims to be one of them that bogs the numbers into irrational percentages. Good observation, but statistically speaking there are more males who would be identified as fetishistic, "kinky" or otherwise sexually aberrant than females. There's lots of speculation as to why this is, but it may possibly boil down to something similar to the reason that a number of known clinical conditions are strongly sex-biased, appearing far more in one sex than the other. Could be traceable back to some of the differences in brain chemistry and hormonally influenced structural development. And it could also be mostly environmental or behavioral, so who knows. I've seen some fairly good guesses by folks who study such things however. A "kinky" orientation is not necessarily clinical or psychopathological, so it's hard to say where it should properly be classified when one is poking at these kinds of statistics. Another group that skews the statistics are the genuine subs and doms who are either in a relationship or not particularly in the market for a relationship, who hang around CM just for the social and maybe casual play opportunities.

FLsubmalecd -> RE: 10 to 1 (10/14/2006 3:27:59 PM)
I have no clue as to what the real odds are. But considering there is a market for Pro Dommes, and no market for Pro slaves or subs, I'd say the odds are more like 1000+ to 1. Now of that 1000, maybe only 100 would pay a Pro Domme. Another 400 would find that to impersonal and not satisfying at all since some of us really want a relationship and could care less about play without the bond. And when you have to pay for play, it loses it's excitement for some of us. Oh, and of that 400 that would never pay a Pro Domme, there are some that are just cheap or can't afford! lol Another 500 are not subs at all but merely males that want some kink in their sex life. Now that leaves only 100 male subs that are truly submissive and want to serve in many different ways because they truly respect, adore, admire, worship or otherwise love Women... Or even envy them! Some expect sex in that relationship, some don't. Some want a long term loving caring D/s relationship and some don't. now, my observations are that many Dommes want more then one submissive. Many have been hurt by men so badly that they find it hard to trust and truly love. Some are female supremest that think very low of men other then what men can do for them with little regard for the male's feelings. Any Domme that thinks it's all about just them is sadly mistaken. No wonder we see the same Dommes looking for sub number 15 in a one year period. A good D/s relationship has to be equal in both getting something out of it or that sub is not going to stick around for long. In conclusion, it is rare to find a loving, caring trusting Domme that wants and needs ONE loving, caring sub male to live this lifestyle. So I stick to my estimate of one true, loving, caring Domme to every one loving, caring male sub that truly wants a life-long D/s relationship with ONE Domme. Well, that;'s all I want. Does that make me odd? OK, so being a mostly hetero cross dresser may be odd too, but that's me. lol

paCDponygirl -> RE: 10 to 1 (10/14/2006 4:39:02 PM)
The unfortunate truth is that there are many fakers and posers out there that skew the numbers tremendously and worse yet, make the whole meeting thing darn near impossible. It does seem that many more women identify with being sub than dom and vice versa. Personally i think that has to do with a mix of nature and nuture but regardless it does seem to be the truth. To think that "it is just an excuse" to say that there are no (or few) good Mistresses out there is silly. There are many factors that go into the equation: location, fetishes and kinks, age, chemistry, etc. The number of available women in any given location versus the number that are into the scene, and then share your same level and types of kink are vastly different. No offense Fckmeimirish, but you are a dominant male so how can you really comment on the number of quality Dommes out there? You are not exactly meeting them the same way we are. Meeting someone as one dom to another is really different than meeting them as a sub. Plus, dominant women like dominant men and submissive women like dominant men. I do agree that many Domme women do like many of the qualities you listed. The problem is getting to them to show them these qualities. Most of the time we have one brief email to make a connection. If it is too long they don't read it (just my perosnal expereience with 3 dommes on sits like this), so you have that one short email to try and hit a chord or you are done. That's tough, especially when you don't have the advantage of doing it in person. It is tough to meet a Domme. For many of us subs it is tough to meet women in general too. i don't know if anyone has thought of that. Manythat i have met tend to be shy. It takes alot of time and dissappointment. Hopefully it will be fruitfull in the end......hopefully. lauren

Morrigel -> RE: 10 to 1 (10/14/2006 5:40:49 PM)
If there are more kinky males than females in this society, it probably has a lot more to do with how little our culture allows women to be explore and express their sexuality, rather than any hormonal cause. Under any conditions where women are culturally dominant, they are every bit as kinky and horny as the men--if not more so. --M

MagiksSlave -> RE: 10 to 1 (10/14/2006 6:34:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji The reason there are so many more male subs is because all men want to be like me. Which just proves Female Superiourity. All male doms, prepare for your lobotomies. Yours, benji My Master is a switch so can he please keep his full brain!!! LOL Magik's slave

shadevarr -> RE: 10 to 1 (10/15/2006 5:52:31 AM)
Lol, it may just be a matter of what we experience. Myself, I have only met two submissive men while almost twenty female subs and this is in R/T. Personally, I believe that there is just as much sexual abberation in each gender and neither outweights the other by numbers once you thin out those who are looking for an easy lay which I hate to admit is mostly males.

Morrigel -> RE: 10 to 1 (10/15/2006 8:23:47 AM)
Whenever it's possible for women to achieve an "easy lay", they seem to turn into sex-crazed fuckmonkeys, at least in my experience. The problem is, it's very hard for women to achieve an easy lay--in this society, we face all the possible negative consequences of sex and rarely get any of the potential rewards. Disease, pregnancy, the risk of violence or non-consensual violation, social censure and even divine retribution hang over the heads of women in this society all the time--and on the other side of the scale, the average woman is only about 5-10% to achieve orgasm during casual sex with an average guy. By contrast, the average guy achieves orgasm about 98% of the time with the average woman. shrug That's pretty much it. As sex improves or risks decrease, women always become more sexual. If those numbers were reversed and the average guy only got 5% of the pleasure and 150% of the risk from the average sexual encounter? They wouldn't be looking for an easy lay either. ;) --M

MzTlaz -> RE: 10 to 1 (10/15/2006 9:34:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji All male doms, prepare for your lobotomies. Ahh...thankyou! I hadn't realised that they were giving male Doms lobotomies.....THAT explains So much!!!

LadyHugs -> RE: 10 to 1 (10/15/2006 9:43:36 AM)
Dear Mistrix, Ladies and Gentlemen; In my personal experiences, the slaves that serve me the best, were not the ones I sought--they found me, selected me and decided on me. I don't like to chase. That said, I think that location is a factor. The slaves I prefer are from overseas and or in the Gay Leather Community, et. al. Sex is not the 'engine' that drives these individuals to service and or submission but, it is a part of it--not the whole of it. There are many individuals that may not, in my mind's eye, fit into a slave category; such as youngsters who just want a free place to call home, have an excuse to do little work and 'screw around sexually.' You have some who exploit slaves for free labor and little in return. A lot of men identifying as Dom, SWITCH, slave and or submissive who contact me, want the kinky sex or sensual aspects. As far as taking out the rubbish to the curb--forget it. I could go on and on about the ones who don't match in my mind's eye. That said, each person must answer to their own calling and instincts. What one dominant would consider 'trash/rubbish' is another's treasure. Each of us have personalities that either click, clash or need work, with other individuals. Some in the lifestyle, would love to have a 'family' sort of lifestyle. Some wish to just have one slave, some wish more. There will be pros and cons that an individual must hash out for themselves. One thing that I have encountered, is that slaves want to 'possess' or 'own' their Masters, Mistresses and or Dominant. If they have problems including another slave in the relationship, as it might be in a poly relationship, there is always a struggle and jockey for attention. People don't like to share. For me, those who have applied do not wish to share me with another. That is very insecure of them. I know well, not to have more slaves than I can love and care for equally. No favorites is my goal in my household, each are selected for their differences and traits that are common and compliment my desire for a loving home. In addition, those who wish to be slave to me, find it difficult to be part of my enjoyment in mentoring, education and or support. They do not wish to share me in that regard either. It just is a matter of selecting the right person for one's own life's style and philosophy. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: 10 to 1 (10/15/2006 10:25:15 AM)
I don't pay a whole lot of attention to statistics, but I have done some unofficial tallies of the sub male to Female Dominant ratio in My area for My target age group (39 - 59) and it's more like 3 to 1. However, when you are selective in what you are seeking, the odds narrow considerably. Many of the people running ads on these sites are married, seeking a casual fling, or will not follow through on any type of real-time meeting, all of which make them unsuitable partners for Me. Lady Topaz

Kirei -> RE: 10 to 1 (10/15/2006 10:54:22 AM)
Well I did some research by using another lifestyle site. It was much easier to get some basic numbers. For me finding a female that will even consider being with a pre-op TS like me the odds are not good. 5% at best....thats out of 193,265 total possibilities in the US...9585 are single females. That is limiting it to them being honest about what they want, and hoping they are honest in their profile, and not some fling or something else as well (2.5% now). Figure half could be men pretending, or fakes that makes 1.25%. I'm getting very close to lottery winning numbers here! Figure half of the profile are old and the person just gave up after a short time your now at 0.625% chance of coming up with a match for any female I contact. This is a good conservative estimate. Now if the male sub/slave look at it the same way for domme's thats why you get so many emailing you as well. Now I can look at it two ways. I can give up, or I can keep trying and beat the odds. It may take years but I feel that in the end its all worth it. It will take a lot of work to weed out the bad from the mix. I don't believe to hope fate works in your favor....I'd rather make it stop in my favor. Maybe that is what they are thinking as well? Ever thought about it or looked at their odds? Other figures my odds __ interested in a TS/TV/CD; single men= 85% chance single women= 5% chance couples= 5% chance lesbian couple= 0.08% chance gay male couple=0.08% chance Conclusions= Only men think that a TS is the best of both worlds. The rest still live in with normal ideals that can fit into societies norms in some way. Some things are more taboo than others. (add your own to the list). Koneko

fckmeimirish -> RE: 10 to 1 (10/16/2006 12:35:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: paCDponygirl No offense Fckmeimirish, but you are a dominant male so how can you really comment on the number of quality Dommes out there? You are not exactly meeting them the same way we are. Meeting someone as one dom to another is really different than meeting them as a sub. Plus, dominant women like dominant men and submissive women like dominant men. I do agree that many Domme women do like many of the qualities you listed. The problem is getting to them to show them these qualities. Most of the time we have one brief email to make a connection. If it is too long they don't read it (just my perosnal expereience with 3 dommes on sits like this), so you have that one short email to try and hit a chord or you are done. That's tough, especially when you don't have the advantage of doing it in person. It is tough to meet a Domme. For many of us subs it is tough to meet women in general too. i don't know if anyone has thought of that. Manythat i have met tend to be shy. It takes alot of time and dissappointment. Hopefully it will be fruitfull in the end......hopefully. lauren Lauren, No offense taken, my dear. We're all just having a discussion in which I think that everyone's opinion provides further perspective. While I cannot speak, as you rightly pointed out, to how many Dommes there are to subs ... I think that what I have said is merely a way to think about how you, yourself, can improve your chances. I've been dating for a long time ... and online dating has been a part of it ... all I can say is that usually face to face or in an E-mail ... you rarely get a second chance to make that first impression. Women, vanilla or otherwise, Domme or subby, have options coming out of their ears. I was only attempting to point out that coming off any other way than devastatingly charming and together will only further dilute your odds of finding what it is that you're looking for. The qualities I have listed are qualities that people, not just women respond to, and whining about your odds does not fall anywhere under those qualities. Position yourself to be pursued ... rather than be the one who does the pursuing ... you'll be amazed at how changing that simple frame will improve your situation. Shawn

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