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Contacting owned submissives - 1/24/2005 6:18:34 AM   
domtimothy46176


Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline 		My girl has a very clear profile and still receives inappropriate notes from supposed "dominants". Anyone have an effective method of dealing with this problem? The current "I am owned and am not allowed to play with dominants other than Master. I am here only to learn and socialize. Questions or comments should be directed to Master." is obviously not clear enough to deter some of the more clueless.
While I do recognize that some will never be deterred from propositioning every submissive on a site, I would like to hear from any who have found ways to minimize the aggravation.
Thanks in advance,
Timothy
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Contacting owned submissives - 1/24/2005 6:21:35 AM   
sweetpleaser


Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline 		Timothy; this is a common complaint and if my memory serves me correctly, the concensus was to ignore and/or block the sender. Eventually the mail stops. Good luck.

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to domtimothy46176)
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RE: Contacting owned submissives - 1/24/2005 7:15:24 AM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline 		This is not meant as disrespectful, but I am curious.....

Why does it aggravate you that your girl is contacted? Is it because others aren't following your wishes? Is it because you wish for no temptation to be in your girl's hands?

this is a sincere inquiry into your thoughts and also the thoughts of other Dominants as well....

My mind goes immediately to snail mail, we always receive junk mail there. Why not disregard online just like you disregard Mr. Domtimothy you have won a million dollars. We all know in the Domdom (not kingdom) of online that trolls and wannabe's are a dime a dozen.

On a side note, I do enjoy your (domtimothy) insight and wisdom on other posts

Respectfully,
Willing2serve

(in reply to sweetpleaser)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Contacting owned submissives - 1/24/2005 10:18:42 AM   
bumblebee


Posts: 29
Joined: 12/1/2004
Status: offline 		There are those that send out generic messages to anyone listed as female submissive without reading a profile or having any idea with whom they are communicating. The only way to stop them would be to block them I'd imagine. As for the others I can't say exactly what would deter them except perhaps copying my profile I get almost no emails at all, not that I'm complaining.

(in reply to willing2serve)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Contacting owned submissives - 1/24/2005 10:29:52 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
Timothy... my greetings to you.

My Master allows me here to converse. Although I have it quite clearly in my profile that I am not searching... Angel still receives request. Further to that... I even get the... 'I can be discret...' *shudders*... which actually I find worse than the 'submit to me now' ones... because they obviously can see I am already Owned & Married!

Master just has me delete the message. He trusts me to know my own worth and to delete as I see fit. If there is a persistant problem... then the person is blocked and the Mods notified. There is no way to deterr the persistant... as long as she has it plainly written in her profile, thats all that can be done, other than removing her profile completely.

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to domtimothy46176)
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RE: Contacting owned submissives - 1/24/2005 3:17:51 PM   
Cyis75


Posts: 164
Joined: 8/31/2004
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		I would have to second willing2serve's inquiry as to the basis for this being an actual problem that needs a solution to.

In my own case both my submissive (also my fiance) and I both have profiles here and on other lifestyle sites. So far there's been no need to put any such restriction or even going as far as stating such on her profiles. Simply for us it hasn't been a problem as the bond is there and I have no need to micromanage these interactions. I trust that she is perfectly able to tell a troll where he can go with any message that comes in that fashion and if the troll doesn't get the hint then she simply brings the matter to me and I deal with it. Generally she's a lot more pleasant in her response than I am in mine if I have to get involved. So far it hasn't been a problem.

(in reply to darkinshadows)
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RE: Contacting owned submissives - 1/24/2005 3:45:49 PM   
domtimothy46176


Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline 		I think the thing that irritates me the most is that there is so little courtesy inherent in contacting a submissive that clearly states that's she's owned and desires contact be routed through her dominant. I can't imagine being that disrespectful. It makes me want to smack the insolent SOB.
Realistically, I do acknowledge that she'll just have to get in the habit of blocking those who ignore her owned status. It doesn't make it any less infuriating, however. One would think that at some point I would get used to living in a world where some feel like the strictures of courteous behavior don't apply to them and yet I never seem to learn to accept it.
Enough griping about what can't be changed.
Be well,
Timothy

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Contacting owned submissives - 1/24/2005 3:57:40 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		No matter how much you post NOT INTERESTED, ALREADY COLLARD, I"M A LESBIAN, I'M MARRIED, and such; some guys are always going to try. I guess they don't have a life. So block them as they come and always ignore them for any replies back just encourages them to try harder.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to domtimothy46176)
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RE: Contacting owned submissives - 1/24/2005 4:28:14 PM   
Darthbetta


Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline 		Depending on how my collared is contacted and the pretenses in which the sender had said "HELLO", She will reply either with " HAY FUCKKO ! WHAT PART OF MY PROFILE DID YOU IGNORE ?
or,

She will simply reply " PLEASE ASK MY MASTER (DARTHBETTA) FOR PERMISSION TO SPEEK WITH ME."

the latter of the 2 usualy will get a good response if the person is not a loozer and is not just looking to "score" with owned property or a lack of forethought and protocol.

PERSONALY, I do send Emails to "collared" or spoken for Subs, and they generaly tend to be complimentary, or asking a question that is simply answered, a comment about a forum post, or just a "HI, we are local, and you should join a few local groups :)", or the NICE PICTURES AND PROFILE compliment.

Not that I am trying to initiate contact, but it is nice to have a larger sense of "Community" when people mail you on occasion :)

_____________________________

Some of us have an inane knack for calling people on their Bullshit... I just choose to retort with bitter dry Sarcasm, and occasionaly it sinks in. Mostly, I just look like an ass.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Contacting owned submissives - 1/24/2005 6:29:42 PM   
velvetvixen


Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline 		Ignore and block works for me.

(in reply to domtimothy46176)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Contacting owned submissives - 1/24/2005 7:02:29 PM   
Paulnz


Posts: 411
Status: offline 		The best way to handle it is to ignore the email.

Coming to the defense of those who send these emails:

A lot of the statements " Not Looking " etc., are just a way of looking more desirable. A scarce commodity is more valuable. How do I know this ? On another BDSM related site I noticed I was being propositioned at times by women who had these very statements on their profiles. They were every bit as in the market as anyone else ( this doesn't seem prevalent here ).








(in reply to domtimothy46176)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Contacting owned submissives - 1/24/2005 9:19:36 PM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

A lot of the statements " Not Looking " etc., are just a way of looking more desirable. A scarce commodity is more valuable.


I am one of the not looking profiles
"I would appreciate any advice, general talk of the lifestyle or a friendly hello. i do not wish to correspond about future considerations by a Dom/Master at this time and i wish each of you much success on what you seek."

Sometimes a submissive needs a profile vacation from all the inquiries and "interviews". I must add a personal note that my wishes have been respected. I do get the occasional advice and hello, but all have been respectful.

It's just all about common courtesy...

(in reply to Paulnz)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Contacting owned submissives - 1/25/2005 1:51:34 AM   
Paulnz


Posts: 411
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: willing2serve

quote:

A lot of the statements " Not Looking " etc., are just a way of looking more desirable. A scarce commodity is more valuable.


I am one of the not looking profiles
"I would appreciate any advice, general talk of the lifestyle or a friendly hello. i do not wish to correspond about future considerations by a Dom/Master at this time and i wish each of you much success on what you seek."

Sometimes a submissive needs a profile vacation from all the inquiries and "interviews". I must add a personal note that my wishes have been respected. I do get the occasional advice and hello, but all have been respectful.

It's just all about common courtesy...


The way you say it makes it clear you mean it.



(in reply to willing2serve)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Contacting owned submissives - 1/25/2005 3:51:35 AM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline 		Claim to be a guy. Nothing but crickets.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to domtimothy46176)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Contacting owned submissives - 1/25/2005 11:44:45 AM   
Cyis75


Posts: 164
Joined: 8/31/2004
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		The one thing we sometimes forget is we really can't do anything to change someone else. The HNG Troll Brigade will always be there and there's not much we can do about it except acknowledge we'll have to deal with it at some point. It's inevitable that we'll have to deal with it if we have someone collared to us or collared to someone.

(in reply to domtimothy46176)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Contacting owned submissives - 1/25/2005 8:39:22 PM   
domtimothy46176


Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline 		LOL, I have to admit it hadn't occurred to me to have her sign up as a male. I'll make a point of mentioning it to her so I can see the look on her face.
Thanks,
Timothy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Suleiman

Claim to be a guy. Nothing but crickets.


(in reply to Suleiman)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Contacting owned submissives - 1/26/2005 7:35:59 AM   
sweetpleaser


Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline 		Suleiman: you always make my day!

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to Suleiman)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Contacting owned submissives - 1/28/2005 5:19:07 AM   
slavedesires


Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline 		i do not have "owned" on my profile, but anyone who reads my posts knows i am.

Master Damian reads most of my mail before i do.

75% of my mail is from Doms who never read forums and others are in response to my posts.

i respond politely to all emails but one lately, has disgruntled me . the Dom speaks in riddles and refuses to answer my questions, yet he says in his proifle "NO GAME PLAYING."

do i get hundreds or dozens a day? some girls say they do. maybe i don't cause i have a journal that indicates i have some sense of depth to my sensitive personality.

an owned girls response, in my opinion, is a reflection on who she is and as importantly on the One who claims her as His.

Master Damian's shy

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to sweetpleaser)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Contacting owned submissives - 1/28/2005 1:57:30 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

While I do recognize that some will never be deterred from propositioning every submissive on a site, I would like to hear from any who have found ways to minimize the aggravation.


I'm not a sub who gets unasked for email from dominants, but I am a dominant woman who gets a lot of unasked for emails from submissives.

There is only one thing I have found to be very effective (aside from being blatantly rude on my profile - which I do). Block by default. Don't even respond, just click "block sender." It's usually the same people who will come back over time and try again. Some create new names but after a while they just give up.

I've been blatantly rude in my profile and blocking people by default for more than three years. It works, I don't get anywhere NEAR as much of it as I used to. It probably takes a month or more for me to block the number I was at one time doing every day.

Kinda like spam filters, the more you use them the better they work.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to domtimothy46176)
Profile   Post #: 19
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