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MaamJay -> RE: First time (10/14/2006 10:17:40 PM)
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As a Domme who enjoys doing anal play on a willing boy and who has been fortunate enough to take a couple of "anal cherries", I offer these ideas:
1. Mistress and sub need to have built a level of trust with each other so that he can be assured that he can give Her feedback as to how things feel without castigation from Her.
2. Mistress uses gloves (latex or vinyl, depends on whether either of them have any allergy to latex) ... this protects the rectal lining from Her fingernails etc. Also using gloves tends to remind Mistress to remove any finger jewellery which could otherwise dig in to unwanted places (eg a ring on an outside finger can play havoc in the crack!).
3. Lube, lube and lots more lube, yes I agree with that one!
4. sub's body position varies with the sub ... the kneeling position described works for some, but I have also found having sub lie on one side with top leg drawn up can be quite effective. Some Women may recognise this position as being one some gynaecologists use on them at times! I had one sub whose rectum would only "straighten out" for penetration by any more than a finger tip when he was standing and bent over.
5. Having sub at a suitable height and with sufficient lighting so Mistress can actually see what She is doing is very important!
6. I find gently teasing outside, up and down the crack, then around the ring, then the ring itself, gets the process going.
7. I tell the sub to concentrate on breathing out when I am attempting to insert the finger, that helps relax the sphincter muscle. sub is to give feedback as to direction, not all rectums "go" the same way! Work in the tip, then the second section and waggle it a bit, then finally, the whole finger as long as it's OK. Mistress is also guided by involuntary muscle spasms gripping Her finger.
8. First time, one finger is great ... don't overdo it for a first session.
9. Can find very narrow buttplugs to use either in sessions or between as Mistress directs, so the sphincter gets more used to the sensation.
10. Gradually build to 2 fingers, 3 etc.
11. Use a vibrator once the anus is appropriately large, there are some made for anal play with the right flared base so they can't be sucked up inside. I always use a condom on anal toys, makes clean up so much easier! It's preferable if the sub buys his own which is only ever used on him. Otherwise, I use 2 condoms, one over the shaft and another over the base of the toy to ensure it is totally covered. After use, the condoms are removed and the toy is also washed with a disinfectant product designed for cleaning such toys (doesn't damage the surface of the toy).
12. Only after several sessions, when all else is well and the boy can take a vibe of the same size, would I attempt to use a strap on. There is much less "feel" with a dildo in a harness worn by the Mistress, so She must be suitably familiar with Her boy to "know" where She is inside him. Can also be a challenge to find a position with the correct height for him and Her to accomplish good penetration and thrust.
Good luck!
Mistress Jay
PS Re the Mistress asking him ... that's not necessarily a bad thing, I would rather a Mistress own up to not being an expert in every technique rather than trying to bluff Her way through!
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