proactive vs reactive discipline (Full Version)

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truckin2some -> proactive vs reactive discipline (4/25/2004 7:27:57 PM)

I have chosen to be proactive and use a whip on a regular basis to drum rules into my slave's rear end rather then wait for him to do something wrong and punish afterwards. This has proven to be a great way to keep him in line and eager to do the right things. He does still have a little bit of self centerdness and rebelliousness that are a bit of a challenge to rid him of. Any suggestions? He tends to be hard to handle when sexually frustrated as opposed to all that I have read saying this frustration will make him easier to control.



sub4hire -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (4/25/2004 7:40:48 PM)

If I were your sub...it would work opposite with me. You'd end up losing a sub. Also...odds are may become submissive yourself.

I'm not judging here..just telling you how I would react to it all.

Although I am not your average person either.



MistressKiss -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (4/25/2004 7:49:04 PM)

What if your submissive is doing things right? Where is the motivation for him to continue good behavior? Unless he is a pain slut and this is a turn on for the submissive, you won't have a submissive for long if you just continually pound him. I often liken having a submissive to having a child that needs correction and guidance. Do you just beat a child for the hell of it, whether the child has done anything wrong or not? If you do, expect a jail sentence. And for that matter, what makes you think that your whippings are keeping him in line? Is it possible that he is a good submissive and just taking your whippings, possibly thinking that he deserves it?

HHHmmm, am wondering how you would feel receiving the same from a dominant were you the submissive.

Isn't every submissive a little hard to handle when sexually frustrated? I know I can be self-centered and rebellious at times. Have you bothered to ask him why he feels rebellious.

Funny, I'm expecting him to answer that he is getting whipped for no "good" reason. Sure, this is your perogative as the dominant. It's also his perogative to get sick and tired of the whippings.

Strange...very strange. As usual, this humble post is one of my own opinion - as a loving dominant. What is that old saying about flies with honey smeared on the submissive's body? grins

[image]local://upfiles/10574/BA10D849BDCC4F67B63A6192FE0D33CA.gif[/image]



EStrict -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (4/25/2004 7:59:27 PM)

I personally am with Gloria on this. That type of domination would make me rebellious, obstinate, and would kill our relationship. Even though I don't like pain, if Master is feeling sadistic, he has the right to do anything he wishes to my body. But I work HARD at not failing in his expectations of me, and if I was getting punished even though I am not failing, it would cause more distress than it would ever cause a positive factor.

I also agree with Gloria that we are not criticizing what you are choosing to do, just trying to explain that it would not be effective with everyone.

::Laughing:: and I was difficult to control because I am sexually frustrated, I would be impossible as I am always a slut craving sex at heart. Breathing turns me on. Have you tried a chastity device? Or maybe going the other route. Make him masturbate X amount of times a day. Though honestly that's something I have only seen dominants have females do effectively.



MistressDREAD -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (4/25/2004 8:13:58 PM)

I have to disagree with the answers above
this is a slave NOT a sub there for if You feel
as Master that this kind of ofensive discipline
works have at it but keep in mind that repetitive
actions create commonality in any action hence
the whippings will no longer be felt with such repetition
nor have any impact after a short time gaining them
daily and this might actually be the desired end your
slave seeks from You if a pain slut. I use things like
writing sentances or tending to sum kind of chore
that does not need much training but takes time and
I give the ol igonore which is a goodie as well.



EStrict -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (4/26/2004 12:07:01 AM)

quote:

this is a slave NOT a sub


I actually gave my answer as the thoughts of a slave Dread. Because, like it or not, slaves are thinking human beings with feelings, and just because you do not think they have the *right* to have a problems with punishment, some do. As I said, Master has the right to do whatever he wishes. But, to discount my very natural, normal, human thoughts and feelings on the way he treats me could cause very normal resentment and long term issues in our relationship.

After all, our relationship is one that is based in open communication and mutual love and respect (though of course the love was something that came in time). Perhaps Master is just unusual in his caring for the feelings of his property, but I am thankful he does.



truckin2some -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) (4/26/2004 2:28:04 AM)

It may help for me to relate more about us. We are both new in exploring bdsm, although it's been a secret wish of mine for a Very long time. When I approached my wife with it after 3 years of marriage, she was open and understanding, and was receptive to the idea, as I had suspected and hoped dearly that she would. I might be a "pain slut", as well as being a submissive, because at first I would deliberately do things in order for her to punish me. She did'nt like that, and her viewpoint was that it was counterproductive, because number 1 I was disobeying, and number 2 it was forcing her to have to discipline me when she was in a bad mood over my disobedience. She came up with a chart system, with a number of different categories. Every day I am graded on things like my attitude, obedience, attentiveness, etc. Most areas I do well on, but there are always some that can be improved. Mistress gives me a lecture on what I fell short on, as well as praise for what I did right. And then she usually puts me in restraints and gives me some corporal punishment as she continues to lecture me. For her this allows her to remain happy as opposed to being pissed off over my deliberate disobedience. For me it gives me the discipline I crave, and the whippings have been getting more intense, so that my bottom is actually sore for a day or so. It is getting to the point that I may soon actually want to avoid the spankings. There has not yet been any heavy training, or breaking, of me, although that may come in the near future. Light bondage and whippings have been the extent so far. It is my wish and goal to be fully trained as her slave, and I do still have some self-centeredness and a little rebellion too. I catch my mouth overloading my ass sometimes. That has to be corrected, and we both know it. She wants complete control, and 100 percent obedience. In most areas she already has it, but there is a long way to go. Does this help to shed any light on our situation?



MistressDREAD -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) (4/26/2004 3:48:25 AM)

Our definitions of what a slave is are very different estrict
slavery even consensual for the politically correct version of
words is still a person whom gives up ALL rights and becomes
a posession. It is not Me alone whom thinks the way I do and
My ways of thought have been given to Me by My parents within
the Lifestyle of Alternates. the point here is that as a slave it is
no longer your * right to think to feel or to have a problem with
anything as that is for your Owner to determine not you. the second
issue I see is that slaves dont have relationships and this is a wrong
thought to Me on your part. slaves serve in total absolution and do not
have in most cases even love with in the structure of servitude as slave.
In many cases what I see in M/s relations is a adoration factor. Of course
I also look at your relationship with your Master based off of what your words are here as a D/s relation ship and not a M/s one. you cannot take the definition of what slavery and being a slave is and water it down or twist it around or bend it to suit what your needs or wants are or so what you and your Master do then fit into the words meanings. you have to conform to it instead and if you do not live and think and act with in the very definition of what slavery and being a slave is then you are not a slave but a submissive and this is how I look at you and your relationship and yes this is My opinion based off of what I read in your words and your opinions against My opinions and understanding of what slavery and slaves are to Me. I have more then one slave. I am not *inlove with any of My posessions but then again I have never been a materialistic person either however I care for, enjoy and protect them and keep them in their place. I do have several long term slaves that I can say that I love deeply however again I am not *Inlove with any.



inyouagain -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) (4/26/2004 4:01:48 AM)

There you have it... don't discipline a "pain slut" with pain. Perhaps doing chores as Dread mentioned will be less to his liking? I've seen it mentioned on the board for a slave to lick the toilet bowl clean, but then some may crave that. How about a 25 page single line spaced essay on the "Disadvantages of Rebellion and Self-Centeredness within a submissive"? After a few essays with shorter suspense dates, and you see no improvement, you might try the ginger root plug method of punishment?

Inyouagain



MistressDREAD -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) (4/26/2004 4:06:49 AM)

hey even I love the gingerroot plug so I know that cant be a punishment!! LOL



myst -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) (4/26/2004 4:44:33 AM)

May i ask what the gingerroot plug is or do i not wish to know?



inyouagain -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) (4/26/2004 8:28:37 AM)

When dealing with self-centeredness, rebellion, arrogance, etc by whipping, a Dominant may make a whipping a much more memorable punishment. Taking the sub/slave shopping at the grocery store fresh veggies section to obtain a large piece of ginger root, or maybe two if the behavior may need further punishment (see * below).

The sub/slave should be made to clean and carve a plug sized piece of ginger root with a groove near it's tip. Prior to the next whipping (whether bound, or unrestrained and ordered to remain palms down and still), the Dominant inserts the prepared ginger root plug into the sub/slaves anus until it grasps the root by it's groove. After a minute or so, the ginger plug starts heating up the bad behaved sub/slave's ass... getting hot so they can't hold their ass cheeks clinched as they are being whipped, and are ready to be punished for displaying such bad behavior towards the one who guides them.

The ginger root technique is quite effective, temporary and considered harmless. Plug removal time is solely at the discretion of the Dominant... bad behaviors may cause it to be worn longer than the whipping session?

At any rate, the ginger root plug will be well remembered for it's effects both during the whipping session, and for it's lingering heat afterwards.

* If a second piece of ginger root was purchased and onhand, you can bet the sub/slave will be aware of it's proximity.

Inyouagain



inyouagain -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) (4/26/2004 8:35:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD
hey even I love the gingerroot plug so I know that cant be a punishment!! LOL

It's usually quite effective as a punishment enhancer, as described above. However, a sadistic perverted Dominant can easily find many other uses, even as a toy. Speak of the devil, hehe! [:D]

Inyouagain



truckin2some -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) (4/26/2004 12:02:36 PM)

When I was just using punishment to correct a problem I was being reactive and in fact letting my sub control when he was punished. He was acting up all the time just to get the strap. Now that I have taken control of the situation he knows that he doesn't have to act up to get the spanking he wants and needs.
Not only that, but he wanted me to TAKE control not just sit back while he handed it over to me.
I am not planning on life going this way forever (getting whipped on a regular basis) but for now this is making life better for both of us. He knows that I really love him and want what is best for US.



proudsub -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) (4/26/2004 1:47:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: inyouagain

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD
hey even I love the gingerroot plug so I know that cant be a punishment!! LOL

It's usually quite effective as a punishment enhancer, as described above. However, a sadistic perverted Dominant can easily find many other uses, even as a toy. Speak of the devil, hehe! [:D]

Inyouagain
:


Please NOT another idea for Master, He's still working on what to do to me for my treatment of MistressDread.



Sinergy -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) (4/29/2004 11:43:52 AM)

quote:

What if your submissive is doing things right? Where is the motivation for him to continue good behavior? Unless he is a pain slut and this is a turn on for the submissive,


My first submissive was a pain slut who would engage in obnoxious behaviors in order to get punished by her Dominant. This was a function of her early training from somebody else.

It did not work with me (and we did not work for long) because I follow the cardinal rule of ignoring any behavior I dont want to see repeated. She would act up, I would ignore it, she would not get what she wanted (floggings, sex, etc) She was never able to figure out that acting nice was the way to my Top side.

Sinergy



Sinergy -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) (4/29/2004 11:44:43 AM)

I guess my point in the last message really deals a lot with my personality; the last thing I want to do to somebody who angers me is have sex with them or beat them silly.

Sinergy



Katmistress -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) (4/29/2004 2:04:30 PM)

I have read all the postings in this string and find the input from others to be most helpful. This is the reason we come to this site.
Unfortunately what works well for someone doesn't always work for someone else but I think that the advice here is given from the heart.
The funny part it really is the "unless" parts of the reply that seem to be the most interesting....heh....
Ignoring something may help some "unless" the behavior is to get attention in which case it may continue to get worse until there is good reason to stop.
True, you don't want to have sex with someone when you are angry - but that is where a good old fashioned spanking would come in handy BEFORE you become angry. Stop the bad behavior before it starts and you have no reason to lose your cool...eh? Kind of like just nipping it in the bud.
Just a thought....



Sinergy -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) (4/29/2004 6:08:08 PM)

The flip side of ignoring any behavior one doesnt want to see repeated is to praise and reward each and every behavior one does want to see.

I also take the approach of discussing with my submissive what behaviors I do want to see and us approximation as a training method.

Sinergy



txurinal -> RE: proactive vs reactive discipline (slave speaking) (7/10/2010 8:57:39 AM)

This slave's MASTER had the same outlook. HE felt it was good to discipline HIS slave frequently. Discipline was administered on a regular basis and this slave (and MASTER) did not view this as punishment. HE felt regular whippings were good for a slave.

At the risk of sounding boastful, this slave did not require punishment often. When it was punished, that usually consisted of having something taken away or having to do something that would focus the slave on the infraction for which it was being punished. It was extremely rare that whipping would be used as a part of the punishment



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