Voltare
Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline
|
kajira18,
You don't really give much information for us to go on. That's ok, of course, but the more we know, the more likely we are to give you good advice. If you're nervous about posting information, you can always contact people off the message board, as many of us are happy to help. I know I don't just speak for myself, and I would personally recommend Topcat, MzSuz, proudsub, Mod3, or any of a dozen folks who post here regularly.
Having said that, I am almost cringing at the words I'm about to write to you. You've heard them a thousand times, and I remember when I heard them it made me angry as well. Sadly, it's the truth.
At 18, you're still at an age where you're halfway between an adult and a child. This isn't to say you are a child, because you are responsible for your actions, legally and morally. However, those who you love and love you still see a 12 or 14 year old, and sadly they may continue to see the same young teenager for another 10 years. Last time I visited my father's house (at 25 years of age) I wasn't 'allowed' to leave the house after 10pm - just like when I was 14. Naturally, I had the right to walk out the door if I wanted, but the following arguements and possible breach of relationship that would follow just wasn't worth it to me.
This is very much the situation you are facing. You legally have the right to do what you wish (at least so long as there are no laws against it.) That right carries huge risks, though. If you decide to stay out all night, quit school, or start having sex, there is no law to stop you. The flip side, however, is that if you choose to do these things, you might find you don't have a bed to sleep in, food to eat, health insurance to protect you, or money for college next year. In fact, most of 'your' possessions really aren't yours - it's a huge legal tangle to decide if a stereo or pair of socks you were given at the age of 17 are legally yours, since you can't actually own property of your own until you are 18 (depending on state laws of course.)
Beyond that, as I mentioned before, the question isn't really if a Master can handle your baggage. The question *should* be could you possibly trust a man enough to call him Master, if he can't handle your problems.
A very difficult picture to make for you, is your life in five years. Perhaps you went to school. perhaps you found a job. Perhaps you got pregnant at 19 and are on your second marriage. There are lots of 'maybes' in your life, but you should really concentrate on what it is you *want* to do with your life. Find that answer, and run with it. If that means a career, then work on it. If all you can see is yourself in a cage 24/7.... well, you might want to try it on your own for a weekend, I assure you it isn't as glamourous as it sounds. Getting the most education you can should be the most important thing in your life, be it book or life experience. If college isn't in your future, perhaps the military is. Whatever you decide to do, do it for YOU! Your parents will want to give your their advice. Let them, but you are at an age where the choice is, really, yours, even if you don't like some of the options. For example, they might agree to pay for college, something you might want to do. But they won't pay unless you go to a college in Utah - something you refuse to do. If, in the end, you can't change their minds, you still have a choice -either to take their help and go to a College in Utah, or to try to make it on your own somewhere else. It doesn't sound fair - but this is one of the last lessons you learn as a child: that eventually you, and you alone will be responsible for the direction you take your life. If you go to a university they pay for, and hate it, you only have yourself to blame, because at 18 they really don't have an obligation to take care of you anymore.
Do look on the bright side - I'm living in a country where people often don't leave home until they are 25, or even 30 years old. I know 35 year old men still living at their parents homes. Culturally, that's just what is expected of people here, to live with parents until they get married.
As for your problems.... there are lots of good reasons NOT to meet people online. Doing it entails a risk, though no different a risk then meeting people at a bar I believe. It's your choice to decide how much you wish to risk, in any relationship, or any meeting. Whoever you choose to meet should be able to respect your wishes, and your fears, and if he is truely worth the title Master that you would wish to give him, then have faith that he will be able to accept you for who you are, 100%. Until he has earned your trust though, the smartest thing to do would be careful, and take your time. Anything worth having, is worth waiting for. That might mean you don't meet your Master for one, two, or even ten years. Instead of worrying about how long it takes to meet him, it would do you more good to worry about enjoying the life you have now, and making yourself the best woman you can be for that Master when he comes along -and come along he will!
I hope this helps you, and I apologize for the length.
Best wishes,
Stephan
_____________________________
http://www.vv3b.com/
"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche
|
Past, Present, maybe Future - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread