How do submissive see things.

How do submissive see things. (Full Version)

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ATXDOM4sub -> How do submissive see things. (1/25/2005 12:18:54 AM)
Question for all the submissives out there. I spent hours the last few days trying to type out some things i feel to a submissive i met online. The first day things flowed well and she knew what i was saying, feeling etc. The second day, what i tried to portray to her didnt appear to come out right. In fact, i think she took the wrong meaning in most of it. Can you guys and gals give me some insight to how better relay information on here. Its so much easier in person, but its too early for that here with her. Master Thomas I want ya'lls side of communication between a D/s

MzBerlin -> RE: How do submissive see things. (1/25/2005 2:27:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ATXDOM4sub Question for all the submissives out there. I spent hours the last few days trying to type out some things i feel to a submissive i met online. The first day things flowed well and she knew what i was saying, feeling etc. The second day, what i tried to portray to her didnt appear to come out right. In fact, i think she took the wrong meaning in most of it. Can you guys and gals give me some insight to how better relay information on here. Its so much easier in person, but its too early for that here with her. Master Thomas I want ya'lls side of communication between a D/s I think that you're doing the right thing in being honest with her. There isn't a "right" or "wrong" way to communicate, nor a special mode of communication for people involved in BDSM. It is a lot easier to communicate in person, but you've stated that you're not ready to take it to the RT level, so you'll have to make do with texting. As Always B

Suleiman -> RE: How do submissive see things. (1/25/2005 3:12:43 AM)
with their eyes. (sorry - I couldn't resist) facetious answers to the subject heading aside, this sounds like a classic failure of communication. Lacking any real data, I do not think anyone here will be able to really help you with your problem. If you just want a better overview of the submissive mindset, reed this forum. ALL of it. Each submissive is unique. You should know that. Lumping all submissives together into one psychological catchbasin works about as well as pigeonholing all women into a single category. Do that, and you will continue to be confused and frustrated. You've only been interacting with this person for a short while. There's gonna be communications breakdowns. Guess what - that's why you write letters back and forth before moving on to personal contact. You need to get to know each other first. Each of you needs to get to know the other as individuals. I can't help you with that, and neither can anyone else here, unless the young lady herself is present and would care to comment.

darkinshadows -> RE: How do submissive see things. (1/25/2005 3:23:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Suleiman with their eyes. (sorry - I couldn't resist) ...with their Masters eyes. (sorry Suleiman - I couldn't resist THAT[:D]) Other than that... I agree with Suleiman. Communication can falter at times in a new relationship. But as long as you are honest and open (and she is with you)... then there is nothing that cant be worked upon. But it does take two! Communicate how You feel. Tell her that your words may not always come out right (in her opinion and yours)... but if thats so that she may be allowed to verbalize her concern with you. If thats Your wish, tell her she can speak freely. Communication, Patience and understanding. Peace and Love

liljoy -> RE: How do submissive see things. (1/25/2005 3:39:35 AM)
It's true that men and women have different ways of communicating. Take that fact and then add the fact that you can't see and hear each other and You have a potential recipe for disaster. NOW You have the fact that we all carry our own baggage with us and tend to read things based on what we've experienced. Misunderstandings happen to all of us. What You can do now is evaluate how she saw what You said and reword what You meant. Then say something like "I can see how what i said could be taken the way you took it,but this is what i meant" i'd recomend finding out about her life and what baggage she carries with her. ~note~ i am not suggesting You say "So what kind of baggage do you have?" i mean asking questions about her life, past and past relationships. What worked in those relationships and what didn't? we don't know what exactly it was that You said that she took wrong so we can't really offer advice on that lil_joy quote: ORIGINAL: ATXDOM4sub Question for all the submissives out there. I spent hours the last few days trying to type out some things i feel to a submissive i met online. The first day things flowed well and she knew what i was saying, feeling etc. The second day, what i tried to portray to her didnt appear to come out right. In fact, i think she took the wrong meaning in most of it. Can you guys and gals give me some insight to how better relay information on here. Its so much easier in person, but its too early for that here with her. Master Thomas I want ya'lls side of communication between a D/s

submise -> RE: How do submissive see things. (1/25/2005 5:35:40 AM)
The next logical step would be to call her on the phone, or have her call you.

LdyAuburn -> RE: How do submissive see things. (1/25/2005 10:18:45 AM)
Online doesnt have nuances, so what appears to you to be said the correct way, the loss of a comma or a full stop or something could change the whole meaning of the words/sentence/information

FireWalker -> RE: How do submissive see things. (1/25/2005 11:16:10 AM)
-=reads this thread and smiles=- Where to start... Firstly, it sounds to Me as though this is a very new relationship. With all things new time is the biggest element to success. One must commit to giving time to another if they want a relationship that is deeper. There is always a period of adjustment to any relationship. -=sings that old song=- Getting to know you... getting to know all about you.... In some ways this new invention W/we call the computer can be a blessing and a curse. Add to that as others have said, the fact that often you can not see the face of the O/one Y/you are typing to, nor can T/they see Y/yours... T/they can not hear the tone it would be spoken in, and that T/they will likely be in a slightly different mood than Y/you are in at the time, and TA DA you have the perfect ingredients for confusion. What O/one might say in jest is taken seriously by the O/other, and the fun begins. O/one may say something as a means to feel out the O/other and find that it is taken totally out of context and now the damage control must be done. I am going to try to keep this short -=chuckles=- Owning more than one slave Myself I have learned that no two are alike and each one is entitled to be respected for his or her own unique thoughts and personality. Time to get to know the inner workings of a person is always worth the effort, whether you can form a deep relationship or not. If you discover that deeper is not meant to be, there is a great deal of good in that too. Y/you are a step closer to knowing what is right for Y/you. Always keep that "right" out in front. Never try to fit into A/anothers idea of what T/they want or need. Being true to what Y/you desire and need is always the best way, I believe. Knowing yourself ... being comfortable in Y/your own skin is a huge thing! Did I say I was going to keep this short?? I wish Y/you all well in Y/your days and nights. Fire Walker

feline -> RE: How do submissive see things. (1/25/2005 12:07:06 PM)
My suggestion . . . try, try again. And pay close attention to detail. [:)] Remember that the way you see things isn't always going to be the way she sees things. Some times, it might be best to have her repeat back to you what her interpretation of what you said was. This medium is not always the easiest to get to know someone. You miss out on the tones and inflections in the voice. And the expressions on their face. So, the clearer you can be, the better. Good luck, [image]local://upfiles/17000/E2DC8E31C15844B99A1AD7639679B9BA.gif[/image]

ATXDOM4sub -> RE: How do submissive see things. (1/27/2005 9:44:40 PM)
Thanks for everyones input. I may have been reading into what she was saying too much. However, things have come to light and at this point. I do not see it as something that will turn where she wanted it. So with that all i can do is offer freindship and conversation. Thanks again Thomas

sterlingsweet -> RE: How do submissive see things. (1/28/2005 4:34:25 AM)
Tell her just what you told us....~smile

slavedesires -> RE: How do submissive see things. (1/28/2005 9:56:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ATXDOM4sub Its so much easier in person, but its too early for that here with her. Master Thomas I want ya'lls side of communication between a D/s This is the second time for me to visit this forum..... and this time i will ask... how do you know "its too early for that here with her." Is that your gut insticnt, opinion, judgement or did you ask her? shy

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