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LadyHugs -> RE: teaching without domming (10/17/2006 1:04:01 PM)
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Dear sunnydays, Ladies and Gentlemen;
Communication is always the key. How you suggest or teach from the submissive/slave point of view is carefully worded as not to sound like a command but, a suggestion.
If there is a teaching situation involving a whip, I have novices stay still and let the slave back into the whip, adjust themselves where it hits properly. This gives the needed focus for the dominant to maintain a technique, the slave says nothing as to interrupt thought, skill focus and attempting to find the target all at once. By, the slave backing into the whip voluntarily, it is submission in silence; to where the slave sets themselves in the proper whip zone. That will in time no longer be needed however, a beautiful exchange none-the-less.
When serving, a slave can give an oral story, as to what she/he is doing as they are doing it, as to give meaning for every step in the service to them. For example; in serving a cup of coffee, the slave raises to their feet, backing three steps back. As you do this, gently say, in taking three steps back I honor the present, the past and the future, turning away--as I turn my respect for you is turning only at this spot, as not to show my buttock or have it in your face--this is in respect for you. You make the coffee and reenter the room. When you stop at approximately 3 feet in front of him and stop. You can say, I stop at the boundaries of your personal space, out of respect for you and wait for your invitation to come into your personal space.
In kneeling, you can say; I kneel as a form of a silent salute, in honor of you and although it is rooted deep in history as to show no threat to you, I do this in honor of those two things--showing I am not a threat to you and put myself at your mercy as well as honoring you in a silent salute. When you stir the coffee, you can go counter clockwise, to honor time past (clock reference), clockwise to honor the future (time forward) and side to side (to reference sun rise and sun setting) to honor the present.
In this way, you are teaching the reasoning, the history and your slant on your service. It will also give notice to the dominant, that what he witnesses from you is honor based--something that needs to be cherished as well as honor to you given back.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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