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families and BDSM - 10/17/2006 9:23:23 PM   
sunnydays


Posts: 116
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline 		does anyone have any ideas on how to submit to Master when in public/or when family is around without raising suspicion

thanks

< Message edited by sunnydays -- 10/17/2006 9:33:40 PM >
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RE: families and BDSM - 10/17/2006 9:27:19 PM   
Warpedsight


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Wow i dont know.  I think that might be part of the reason why some people find their kink later in life.  They probably just simply dont have the time for too much kinky sex while theyre raising kids, or, quite frankly, likely dont want to risk their kids walking in on their mother taking a strap on to their father. 

(in reply to sunnydays)
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RE: families and BDSM - 10/17/2006 9:29:12 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		This thread is against TOS... I am just telling you that because it could be pulled at anytime... we are not allowed to talk about little ones on here... just thought you should know

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sunnydays)
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RE: families and BDSM - 10/17/2006 9:34:07 PM   
sunnydays


Posts: 116
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline 		thanks.. i have reworded the question

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: families and BDSM - 10/17/2006 9:35:36 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		My Daddy has a five year old. Our dynamic doesn't have to be overt, but it's still there.
 
When we're watching movies in the living room, I sit on the floor at His feet. No one has ever asked why. That's just one example of, what I consider, submissive behavior. There are others, but it's the same non-reaction.
 
The fetish gear is always out of sight, of course. She's got enough to deal with without us trying to explain something she has no interest in understanding. Unmentionables, in general, are self absorbed creatures. In my experience, if you don't get in their face with it they won't even notice anything is different.
 
The other thing is that we're not self conscious about it. It doesn't become something that we're trying to cover up or hide. I think if we did, she would notice the unease.

< Message edited by spanklette -- 10/17/2006 9:36:48 PM >

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to sunnydays)
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RE: families and BDSM - 10/17/2006 9:38:39 PM   
sunnydays


Posts: 116
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline 		we have Masters parents visit often..and it is hard as sometimes it is when the ruggies arewith thier dad..so this is our "U/us time" and i sometimes feel robbed of that precious subbing time..we are very comfy with our life and the chioces wehave made...just some ppl may not be so comfy

(in reply to spanklette)
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RE: families and BDSM - 10/17/2006 9:45:03 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		I can completely understand. This just works for us.
 
Maybe you can come up with some things that aren't obvious to others...kind of a private communication between you and your Master.
 
All it has to be is something that you might not normally do. Just something that triggers submissive feelings for you. Bringing him something special to eat or drink comes to mind, right off the top of my head. Anything that gives you the feeling you want...it doesn't have to be sexual, in the least.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to sunnydays)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: families and BDSM - 10/17/2006 9:46:27 PM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunnydays

does anyone have any ideas on how to submit to Master when in public/or when family is around without raising suspicion

thanks


Pretend to be Christian?

  Just kidding.

Sorta.

--M

(in reply to sunnydays)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: families and BDSM - 10/17/2006 10:06:33 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		There are a myriad of little subtext type things you can do, submission is not nessisarily overt acts that everyone can see.
Elegant brings me things and has a subtle way of presenting them to me that speaks volumes to my ears/eyes but few woud see or recognize them as anything but her being nice to me. Small acts small gestures, small words can all be set up to convey submissive meanings that are just between the two of you.

But be that as it may at some point people will do the math and it will add up. The power dynamic can only be hidden for so long. Eventually you may need to find an acceptable explination of it that vanillas will get and not be shocked by.
Personally we use the idea that we divide responsibilities in a way that works for us. Elegant is responsible for ABCDEF and I am responsible for ZYXWVU, all things beyond a certain level are discussed and in the case of a tie vote the decission goes to me.

We decided to divide the decission power overtly because we heard that power struggles over things tend to be the #1 killer of a relationship. With the decission making responsibility set it helps avoid the power struggles.

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: families and BDSM - 10/17/2006 10:19:58 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		The other day, my Master showed me some gestures that He considers very submissive, that no one else watching us would ever be the wiser for.  The position of my hand with His, a kiss placed on Him, how I nuzzle my head into His chest when we hug.  None of these things would seem like anything to the outside world.  However, He showed me how and where to do the simplest of details in order that He knew when I did it, it was with a submissive intention behind it rather than just a hug, a little kiss, or holding hands. 

I have done this twice since He showed me last week, when we were out, and the smile I got from Him thrilled me and I knew that it made Him happy, too. 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: families and BDSM - 10/17/2006 10:26:40 PM   
sunnydays


Posts: 116
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline 		thank you all

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: families and BDSM - 10/17/2006 10:27:36 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Do what you already do.

It's not the act- it's the motivation.  If you've got the attitude and dynamic, you will both feel it, no matter what you're doing.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sunnydays)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: families and BDSM - 10/17/2006 10:28:06 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunnydays

does anyone have any ideas on how to submit to Master when in public/or when family is around without raising suspicion


We dont worry about family, since I havent met his family yet.  However, being around his friends on his campus, we had to worry about this as well.  He walks behind me, makes sure to open doors, even if we are with other people. If someone else has opened the door already, he will take it from them before I walk through it.
He knows if I put my hand on the table, he is to hold it.  We have looks we share, and we both know what they mean. Being a sweet southern boy, I have the benefit of him being able to call me Maam around others and no one thinks its odd. 
The easiest way to do this is to discus your little methods with your Master. We talked about what we would do, if we were out and about.  While we are 24/7 when together (and soon permanently, knock on wood) we dont need to have him acting sub alll the time.  We do wel with the vanilla act, and everyone who knows him well doesnt think his being with a stronger woman is odd. We have it easy, I hope you have the same ease.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to sunnydays)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: families and BDSM - 10/17/2006 10:42:23 PM   
sunnydays


Posts: 116
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline 		we do alot of what is suggested here...and now he has named me...and with a name everyone already kinda knows...he can say that and put me in my place very quickly...

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: families and BDSM - 10/17/2006 11:00:07 PM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		There are a lot of things that are unseen and go unnoticed... One fellow mentioned once having Hsi sub drink only with her left hand..  since she was right handed, it was a conscious thought thing she had to keep track of.. a reminder of His authority or owneership, i forget how He worded it, but you understand, i'm sure.

Master has a "hand near His heart" thing that signals stop running around serving, and be a companion and sit here.    i have an elbow-itch thing that says, signal received..  Hubby always cranks out one foot when He's getting ready to go get something, so now that i noticed this habit, i can check to see if there is something i can bring Him..

Some things You will have to set up.. some things you'll just catch patterns and find ways to use them.  you probably already do a lot of them..  automatically turning down the Tv when He gets a phone call.. dad always gets the big chicken breast. yada-yada

(in reply to sunnydays)
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RE: families and BDSM - 10/18/2006 6:00:17 AM   
Amaros


Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunnydays

does anyone have any ideas on how to submit to Master when in public/or when family is around without raising suspicion

thanks


Pretend to be Christian?

  Just kidding.

Sorta.

--M


Yes dear...

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: families and BDSM - 10/18/2006 7:00:28 AM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunnydays

does anyone have any ideas on how to submit to Master when in public/or when family is around without raising suspicion

thanks


Do what you always do when together.  There are little gestures and subtle nuances, like a shift or magnification of your regular actions, etc., to be more sub or slave like in approach that not many will even pick up on, but you and your master will know.  Get creative and have fun with it. 

(in reply to sunnydays)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: families and BDSM - 10/18/2006 7:29:42 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		We aren't into protocol or ritual, hard to do with family members under foot. But when he says "get me more tea please", I do know it isn't really a request. I just get up quietly and go put the kettle on.

(in reply to raiken)
Profile   Post #: 18
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