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Termyn8or -> RE: Too Awkward to Discuss with Friends (10/23/2006 10:56:17 PM)
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I wanted kids bad, but I grew up. What a shame that this is how it is.
You know what is one of the most reprehensible things about the human race to me ? Food stamps. (now cards)
It's not the food stamps themselves, it is the reason they are needed. They are needed because supposed "parents" will use the welfare money for intoxicants etc., instead of feeding their own flesh and blood. People who would do that are scum. Animals will kill for their young, so where do they stand ?
I don't understand your reluctance to mention it to your friends. Or is it that they are wierd ? You are certainly not wierd for having this desire, but I have one warning.
Money. You need enough money to either get into a good neighborhood with good schools or tuition for a private one. It can make the difference between heaven and hell. And I mean some real money dude. At the same time you do not want the really affluent neighborhoods either. We are talking the effect on the kid's attitude here, and either extreme is no good. But you still need the money.
You need the money to survive a job change, a major problem with the house as well as many other things. I don't know what you do for a living, but to have a kid you need earning power. Like $25-35 an hour full time. Then instead of making sure you have the high definition DLP projector, you try to maintain reliable cars and a good environment in the home. Roofs over your head so to speak.
This pales in comparison to the time. You need time, kids do not raise themselves. You can't let your olady do it, even daughters need a Man's influence when growing up.
So all you have to do is work all the time, pay for everything and be home all the time. Then you can homeschool. Homeschooled kids outperform even those from the better private schools. If you want the best, start buying books.
No matter how much all this is worth, time still trumps it all. A full time job, getting a little, quality kid time and those few other things people do generally require about 35 hours a day. Sleep ? forget about it, it will be a thing on the past.
I have friends with kids, and I know that I am missing out on a type of fulfillment that bites me in the back of the mind every once in awhile. I was involved with their kids and was dubbed Uncle Terminator, but it's still not the same. Off to college they do not call me when they ace a test they thought they were going to flunk, or get a new girlfriend.
If I had a kid right now, I would be 65 when they graduate highschool. This is not fair to them. Putting, or hopefully just helping them through college when I am in my 70s ? So think of it this way, you got about a 10-15 year window right now. Don't be in a hurry (sounds like you're not), use this time to educate yourself. I don't care if you go to school, but you obviously know how to use the internet somewhat and seem to be articulate. Find some subject that interests YOU. By letting your mind's fire weld your pyramid of knowledge together, you gain manifold. You learn better how to learn independently.
When you are ready, you will be able to MAKE SURE you kids know how to read before they go to school. If not they will think phonetically which is a disaster.
As an aside, did any of you other older folk notice some changes to English ? Phoenetically has become phonetically, contribulatory negligence has become contributory negligence and criminologists now seem to be criminalists. Did anyone notice that besides me ?
Whatever, the MOST important thing is the right Woman. Stay together, don't try to drive a car with your feet, you need two people, and the perspective of both sexes. I come form a home that broke when I was ten. DO NOT do this to someone. If you're going to split up, do it before the kid is born, at least they'll be used to it.
Don't let this discourage you, just prepare for it. If you got friends with whom you can't discuss wanting kids, you might have to count them out, but it is worth it. When I was in my prime for it I was too wild, believe me.
I wish I knew then what I know now.
T
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