Sinergy
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Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn
I teach communication these days at the college level. So, I was running a scenario that was asking how people perceive others, and then how do they react to others based on those perceptions. I generally leave myself out of these examples, but one of the young women in the class brought "me" into the conversation that was designed around figuring out if someone you just met/or have known for some time is of a dominant or less dominant (they don't use submissive in this context) personality, and how one should react to such a person. She indicated that it was quite obvious I was of a strong, dominant personality. And the rest of the class agreed with her.
Well, obviously, being a lifestyle submissive, this intrigued me, so I explored this further. Due to my "control" of the classroom and my strong public speaking presence, I was obviously of a dominant nature, and that the correct reaction from students (this is from the students' conversation, not mine) was that in creating the most comfortable environment would require the student to be of the less dominant persuasion so as not to counter my "dominant" tendencies. (for the record: the purpose of the lecture was that one does not need to be less dominant, submissive, in order to communicate interpersonally with another dominant, that knowing one's disposition is what's necessary, not that one has to change oneself in order to compensate for someone else's disposition, but we hadn't gone that far in the conversation yet)
I asked if it might be possible that one's position in a conversational dynamic (like an instructor of a course) might be environmentally constructed rather than personality constructed. The original student responded that one's outside the classroom disposition could be determined by how that person interacted within the classroom, so obviously I was dominant in both spheres of environments.
Therefore, I must be a dominant, and all women must now submit to me. Unless they don't want to. Or they tell me otherwise...or....
Lovely thread, littlesarbonn.
Allow me to respond from the other side.
In my relationship, I am Dominant. I am a rather laid back person, but I tend to be clear about my expectations and desires and enjoy the hell out of turning my partner into a puddle of submissive goo.
One of my jobs, the self-defense one, requires me to be deferential to the lead female instructor in the class. Additionally, it requires me to not voice my own person opinions about things, to frame any input I have in terms of "I," and to accept the fact that I am neither in charge nor is my input really desired. That is not the nature of my job.
I have been told I am one of the easiest mock assailants to work with because I refuse to argue or whatever with the lead female instructor, at least not in class.
My job is to make her look good, and I do this extremely well. It is a mask I wear to do something in life. It is something I do, and do well, but it does not define who I am.
I hope this is of some value to you.
Sinergy
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"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"
"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle
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If one's top/bottom persuasion was a democracy, I'd be ... - 
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