discipline (Full Version)

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sweetnurseBBW -> discipline (10/18/2006 11:09:05 AM)

In another thread a type of discipline was discussed. Some said it had been done to them and some remarked on how they would never let that be their discipline. I asked is it really up to the sub/slave to choose their discipline for when they have done something wrong. I was a little confused that most did not understand. Do you think a sub/slave chooses their discipline and why?



Kalira -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 11:10:59 AM)

quote:

Do you think a sub/slave chooses their discipline and why?

I don't lol. He would find it highly amusing and annoying if I attempted to in the first place.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 11:11:24 AM)

It depends on how much you trust them to choose something that would REALLY modify their behavior. Writing "I won't be bad anymore" 500 times is a valid choice...but would it WORK?

Master Fire



MagiksSlave -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 11:22:34 AM)

No as a slave I have never chosen my punishments but Master never would ever do something he knew would upset me like ignoreing me which is something that would probubly end our relationship thats how bad an effect it has on me!!!

might I ask what the punishment was that she said she would never allow?

Magik's slave



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 11:29:08 AM)

If the master wants the slave to choose the form of discipline or punishment, then it is exactly their responsibility. 

In fact, almost 100% of the time I will ask my partners what they feel an appropriate response would be.  I don't always do that thing, but I like knowing where their head is at and why.  If my objective is to change THEIR behavior, then obviously choosing a consequence that most affects THEM is going to be most effective towards reaching my goal.

If I just choose a discipline I THINK will work, it might actually have no effect upon their behavior whatsoever.  Just because I think a particular consequence will work a particular way on someone else doesn't mean they will, in fact, have that reaction.

Not to mention, it can be real intense to tell someone that you are so pissed at them that you don't want to even waste your time thinking of a punishment/discipline for them and that they are to think of it, enact it and report back to you when you are done.

Edit:  Something being a punishment/discipline does NOT revoke someone's hard limits.  So it's perfectly acceptable to say that a particular action is not allowed in those terms.



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 11:42:08 AM)

I agree that the fact of knowing you displeased them is enough to be a form of discipline. It was the fact that these persons just said absolutely they wouldn't allow this type of discipline. It was corner time. Alot felt it was age play. I disagree. I just found it amusing that some said they wouldn't allow that.



MagiksSlave -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 11:45:07 AM)

LOL corner time??? thats it... Jees Id feel lucky if Master ever let me off with just corner time (LOL no chance cuz he's a sadist!!!)

and Master knows that all he has to do is say the word dissapointed and I will cry he usued that word alone as discapline sometimes but he doesnt say it often... maybe two times!!

Magik's slave



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 11:46:35 AM)

I agree. All I have to see is the look of disappointment and I go to pieces.



RedSavageSlave -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 12:01:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

LOL corner time??? thats it... Jees Id feel lucky if Master ever let me off with just corner time (LOL no chance cuz he's a sadist!!!)



<cracking up> Hey M'sSlave

You must not have read the posting..there were definitely some very sadistic ideas for "corner time" being listed.. or am I not seeing the same thread? LOL



juliaoceania -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 12:56:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

In another thread a type of discipline was discussed. Some said it had been done to them and some remarked on how they would never let that be their discipline. I asked is it really up to the sub/slave to choose their discipline for when they have done something wrong. I was a little confused that most did not understand. Do you think a sub/slave chooses their discipline and why?


Sometimes my mom would ask me what discipline fit the wrong I had done... it might be applicable to Ds too I suppose..

I would think that he would discipline me within my limits...other than that I am not aware I had a vote unless he gave me one.



Celeste43 -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 1:02:38 PM)

In a sense we do. Since I'm not into a strict punishment dynamic I did not pick a partner who was into that. So by my choice of partner, and our discussions about this, I got to pick a nonpunishment dynamic. Moreover, I don't respond well to that, if I was told ahead of time that I would make mistakes and be punished for that, I wouldn't have even agreed to try. I respond much better to positive reinforcement so I picked a man who also believes in that, and who is smart enough to see what works with me rather than doing something that might get him off but would be detrimental to the relationship.



MsKatHouston -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 1:16:18 PM)

I think Celeste43 hit it when she talked about beginning negotiations and learning the style of the dominant up front and whether that would work for them.  I will sometimes ask a submissive what an appropriate punishment would be sometimes, though not often.  It is also ultimately up to me if I decide to take the "suggestion" or use one of my own ideas. 

In my dynamic, I choose the form of discipline and/or punishment.  The sub chooses to accept it or not.  Not accepting it, though, will usually mean knowing right where the door is.  But then, I would greatly prefer never to have to deal with it by having a submissive who truly wants to be mine and not want to purposely act out in order to need punishment.  Discipline, though, I think is different and something that occurs daily through positive reinforcement and training.



juliaoceania -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 1:18:37 PM)

Actually I think we are much alike in this, my Daddy believes in positive reinforcement, we do not call it punishment if he thinks my behavior needs to be corrrected.. it is called discipline.. it is not for attonement or to be punitive. For example if he thought I was on the internet too much and it was negatively impacting my behavior he might ground me from it for a week or a month or something... but not to be strict, to be corrective. He is not strict at all.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 1:24:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
Actually I think we are much alike in this, my Daddy believes in positive reinforcement, we do not call it punishment if he thinks my behavior needs to be corrrected.. it is called discipline.. it is not for attonement or to be punitive. For example if he thought I was on the internet too much and it was negatively impacting my behavior he might ground me from it for a week or a month or something... but not to be strict, to be corrective. He is not strict at all.

I know we already went through this on your long punishment/discipline thread, but for me that IS punishment- a consequence applied to decrease the likelihood of a specific behavior re-occurring.  I use the clinical psychological definition.



juliaoceania -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 2:03:06 PM)

You say tomatoe and I say tomahtoe...

He is not much for either, and it may very well end up he never disciplines or punishes, he certainly has had no occasion to yet.

Vanilla people punish each other all the time... it depends on how effective it is in their relationship if that works for them....




toservez -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 2:18:22 PM)

I think it all depends on the personalities and level of power exchange one has in a relationship as to telling, requesting, negotiating or other terms when discipline or punishment is involved. For me personally who needs a pretty severe power exchange I would have a big problem if I could influence and certainly if I had some control over how the punishment and discipline would occur.

Now I have had in the past been made to state what I thought it should be and certainly input before and after for both of us to know if the results were what was wanted, but if I think I ever strongly influenced my Master's decision then that would have not been a good thing for me. This is especially true for punishment as I feel it is important that once a punishment is administered that there are no lingering effects/attitude from the mistake as much as human people can do that.

So I really have a problem with the idea that a sub and certainly a slave can influence what discipline or punishment is outside of initial negotiaions and agreements in limits and other things. Still an aware dominant is going to do what works best for both of them, and I strongly believe that dominants get/need something out of this as well.



Squeakers -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 2:54:08 PM)

i have chosen my own punishments at His direction and honestly it can never be something clique like corner time, thirty with the belt---it must be something that is creative, something i have given thought to and something i will remember so i would not be apt to commit that offense anytime soon.  



LadyHugs -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 2:58:54 PM)

Dear sweetnurseBBW, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Discipline has a double meaning in the lifestyle.  At times it means punishment and at times it means orderly manners, protocol and such.
 
In the area of punishment, there would be no negotiations when it comes to punishment.  That is when I can be my most frisky torture sadist best.   I will stay within negotiated boundries but, I get to exact the administration of punishment as to have them think twice on misbehaving.
 
As far as discipline, each drill sergeant or drill instructor has their methods on having soldiers have discipline, even if it means repeating things over and over, as to do them in their sleep.
 
One thing that sticks out in my mind, is General Omar Bradley's accounts about General George S. Patton; in "A Soldier's Story."
This is when US Troops under British General Anderson got the 'snot' kicked out of them, first battle.  General Bradley made mention that, "...the discipline is pretty lax here."  General Patton's comments were, in summary; ..."If they don't look like soldiers, act like soldiers; how can they be expected to fight like soldiers." 
 
I think that is extremely true when it comes to Masters, Mistresses and slaves; dominants and submissives; in the overall summary of the importance of 'discipline' within the scene and or individual relationships.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs



Kalira -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 4:21:04 PM)

quote:

LOL corner time??? thats it... Jees Id feel lucky if Master ever let me off with just corner time

I hear you on that one [8D]



MagiksSlave -> RE: discipline (10/18/2006 5:58:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

LOL corner time??? thats it... Jees Id feel lucky if Master ever let me off with just corner time (LOL no chance cuz he's a sadist!!!)



<cracking up> Hey M'sSlave

You must not have read the posting..there were definitely some very sadistic ideas for "corner time" being listed.. or am I not seeing the same thread? LOL


LOL well corners can be evil in their own right if you are anything like me and unable to sit still for more then 2 minuts at a time LOL

Magik's hyper slave



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