Advice please

Advice please (Full Version)

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Gogoku6 -> Advice please (10/18/2006 11:15:54 AM)
I am a married male with a bi-wife...while we are both polyamourous...we are also both dominate...we have been looking for a sub female to join us for a LTR...it has been hard because we have been in the lifestyle for about 5 yrs...I have been serching on our behalf because she lives is in another part of the stat taking care of her grandfather and my job relocated me for a short time...I haven't had much luck and I was looking for any advice that would help

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Advice please (10/18/2006 11:33:42 AM)
You aren't living together, she's taking care of an elderly person and your job is taking most of your time. Why do you think NOW is a good time to start a heavy relationship that would require you and your wife to work together on a very intimate and intense level? I say get your life to a point where it's a good idea to have that relationship before really looking for it. Then read all the threads in the polyamory forum.

MagiksSlave -> RE: Advice please (10/18/2006 11:49:44 AM)
((claps)) very well said LA Ma'am!!! Magik's slave

RedSavageSlave -> RE: Advice please (10/18/2006 11:58:12 AM)
hey LA..... where can I get one of those bullshit cutter throughers you always seem to have on hand??

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Advice please (10/18/2006 12:08:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave hey LA..... where can I get one of those bullshit cutter throughers you always seem to have on hand?? I bought it at the Good Sense Store on the corner of Tough Life Experience and Fuck-ups Galore.

raiken -> RE: Advice please (10/18/2006 12:10:51 PM)
LA, too funny thanks for the chuckle i needed one just now!

RedSavageSlave -> RE: Advice please (10/18/2006 12:12:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave hey LA..... where can I get one of those bullshit cutter throughers you always seem to have on hand?? I bought it at the Good Sense Store on the corner of Tough Life Experience and Fuck-ups Galore. <snorts Big Red at monitor> Warn me next time ok?? LMAO

MagiksSlave -> RE: Advice please (10/18/2006 6:03:23 PM)
OWW my stomach hurts from giggling no fair LA Ma'am!!!!!!!! Magik's slave

Squeakers -> RE: Advice please (10/18/2006 6:24:28 PM)
quote: You aren't living together, she's taking care of an elderly person and your job is taking most of your time. Why do you think NOW is a good time to start a heavy relationship that would require you and your wife to work together on a very intimate and intense level? Considering the fact that it takes an immense bit of time to weed out all those who are simply not what one may be looking for, that point is probably mute. Possibly the OP is in contact with His partner every day--distance is no longer a dilemma to maintain communication. What's with all the judgement?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Advice please (10/18/2006 6:34:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Squeakers Considering the fact that it takes an immense bit of time to weed out all those who are simply not what one may be looking for, that point is probably mute. Possibly the OP is in contact with His partner every day--distance is no longer a dilemma to maintain communication. What's with all the judgement? a) It's "moot" b) Distance isn't necessarily a dilemma to maintain communication. But we have the addition of caring for an elderly parent AND the stress of a serious job. And we aren't just "maintaining communication" we're "attempting to form a completely new and insanely difficult situation." The conditions are far less than ideal for what they want to do. I think they should wait until the situation is more ideal before seriously making a go for it.

Squeakers -> RE: Advice please (10/18/2006 6:50:07 PM)
Thanks so much for the correction. The point is your comment came across to me as slightly rude and the ones that follow turned the OP's post into nothing more than a joke. It is not my intention to point fingers but this happens on so many threads. What happened to being nice? Btw he never said his job was stressful or serious just that he had been relocated for a short period of time. It maybe a good idea to wait out the seperation and pointing that out is a great bit of advice but it could have been given in a manner that was less judgemental. Again thanks for the correction---I will in the future make sure that Webster is my companion when posting.

Owned1 -> RE: Advice please (10/18/2006 7:43:52 PM)
gogoku, As this is your first post I guess you have sorted out the best way to seek another, post a question on the forums (where you are not allowed to troll) with what you are seeking inbedded in the question. However I would suspect if it were me, you are in fact married and hiding this from your wife. Your story just sounds too odd to be true. It is difficult enough to get involved in a poly relationship let alone in one where half of the poly is not even living with the other ~ or so you say. Allthe best in what you are searching for Owned

Celeste43 -> RE: Advice please (10/19/2006 5:43:05 AM)
My cynical side came out the moment he said he's now upping the search since his wife is out of town. Not getting any was my immediate thought. Basically now is not the time to find a third. Primarily because she would need to be third to two of you but one of you is not there for her to meet. In general however, searching for a bi-female third is probably up there with finding a domme. Rarer than hen's teeth. Most women want someone to be of primary importance to. They want someone to hold them at night. They want to be able to talk holding hands over morning coffee. None of which is available to a third since the primary couple's emotional needs will be met by each other. If they don't meet each other's needs then the relationship doesn't last. So who fulfills the needs of the third, and whose needs can she fulfill? Except for sex and service, she's of no use and is the proverbial fifth wheel. This requires a lot of knowledge and experience to solve, doesn't sound like you've even thought about it.

RedSavageSlave -> RE: Advice please (10/19/2006 7:15:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Celeste43 In general however, searching for a bi-female third is probably up there with finding a domme. Rarer than hen's teeth. Sheesh.. and here every dom I talk to says EVERY female in this lifestyle is bisexual or they wouldnt do this... man.. can everyone PUHLEEZ buy and read the same book??? I am sooo confused!

Squeakers -> RE: Advice please (10/19/2006 9:37:00 AM)
Since he stated they are both Dominant, I can definately understand how a sub would be needed.

ExtremeOwnerIL -> RE: Advice please (10/19/2006 10:36:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I bought it at the Good Sense Store on the corner of Tough Life Experience and Fuck-ups Galore. That seems to be a very well attended store. Good answer to the OP - there is nothing harder than trying to incorporate a third beyond just fun and FWB. Regards, EO

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