RE: Submissive versus Tough

RE: Submissive versus Tough (Full Version)

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RedSavageSlave -> RE: Submissive versus Tough (10/19/2006 11:14:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: raiken But the OP was making reference to being sub verses tough, and that is why she posted it here. At least this was my interpretation of it. At any rate, you posted that remark but i didn't see you offereing any thing else, so to me, it seemed to be an insensitive remark given the nature of the topic. Again, nothing personal toward you, just wanted to share my view on the comment itself. But thats just it.. there is NOWHERE in her post that refers to the title she offered the thread. All she wanted was some validation for her feelings of going after baby's daddy in a court hearing over custody.. which if I understand correctly is off limits discussion as far as child issues. I do absolutely understand what she is going through..I too have gone through a custody suit and lost it.. so I do have sympathy or empathy.. I just do not think this is the place to go with it.. there are all kinds of support groups both online and off for that kind of help. It has nothing to do with her being a sub.. it has to do with her being angry at her ex. and no.. I didnt take your comments personally just as I hope the OP doesnt take mine to be an attack against her.

juliaoceania -> RE: Submissive versus Tough (10/19/2006 11:20:45 AM)
I did not read her post this way, I read it as asking other submissives if they have trouble being harsh when they need to be, even when it comes to something like child custody. I did not read her wanting us to validate being vindictive, I heard the opposite, wanting support in not being that way because it is not in her nature to be that way,... We often read things with our own baggage, myself included.

MsKatHouston -> RE: Submissive versus Tough (10/19/2006 11:25:42 AM)
I guess the way I would take the OP is, because she is submissive and has a natural inclination to be appeasing and submissive, how does she go against that to do what is necessary, in her opinion, to get what she wants. My answer to that, in a general sense, is that submissives are people with real life responsibilities. It is a credit to a submissive who is strong and self reliant and able to take care of their responsibilities. Anyone who has their life together and is reasonably sound and secure will make a much better submissive or dominant. Nobody knows the whole story or what will be best in the particular situation as cited. But how does one get to be strong to deal with an issue? You just do. Determine what needs to be done, what is best and make it so.

RedSavageSlave -> RE: Submissive versus Tough (10/19/2006 11:28:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: babysburnin I have all the tools to be "strong, smart and wilfull". I am going through a custody situation ... I should be evil - I just don't have it in me... My baby (6 now) deserves to be with me. How do I turn my "justice will prevail attittude" into "mean mode"? This is what she wrote.. not what I thought she wrote but her actual words... Please tell me where she ever mentions her feelings of being able to not be submissive.. Her question is actually more of How do I go from being fair <justice will prevail attitude *not submissive attitude*> into unfair <mean mode>? I know how she wanted it to appear hence the wording of the title.. but the reality is.. she never asked anything about feeling submissive and then feeling empowered. And again.. she is discussing issues related to unmentionables.. which is not appropriate for this forum. I am sorry if I appear harsh.. I am not unfeeling.. but I am not reading anything into what she is saying.. I am simply reading what she is saying.

juliaoceania -> RE: Submissive versus Tough (10/19/2006 11:43:07 AM)
quote: Please tell me where she ever mentions her feelings of being able to not be submissive.. In the title of the thread, I have done this myself, put a title on a thread and then continued the idea on through. It is not her natural inclination to stand up for herself... she correlates this with being submissive. Now it is valid to say being submissive has nothing to do with that, but it is just as valid for her to feel that it does.

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Submissive versus Tough (10/19/2006 11:45:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: Please tell me where she ever mentions her feelings of being able to not be submissive.. In the title of the thread, I have done this myself, put a title on a thread and then continued the idea on through. It is not her natural inclination to stand up for herself... she correlates this with being submissive. Now it is valid to say being submissive has nothing to do with that, but it is just as valid for her to feel that it does. I have to agree with Julia on this one. She says she doesn't have it in her. Maybe she isn't trying to say this but until she clarifies we won't know.

RedSavageSlave -> RE: Submissive versus Tough (10/19/2006 11:51:41 AM)
If she wants some real advice I will say this.. regardless of the outcome of this hearing.. that little one will still have two parents that will be raising them.. even if it is not full shared custody. Her going into "evil" is not going to help that kid out one bit. All its going to do is affect the ability she and her ex have to be effective parents together once the trial is over. Perhaps she should think about that.

eruditegirl1 -> RE: Submissive versus Tough (10/19/2006 1:44:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: babysburnin I have all the tools to be "strong, smart and wilfull". I am going through a custody situation ... I should be evil - I just don't have it in me... My baby (6 now) deserves to be with me. How do I turn my "justice will prevail attittude" into "mean mode"? Instead of trying to be evil...why not try smart.....(not saying you aren't smart) First and foremost...what is best for your child......should go unsaid.... I did and still keep a diary of times my son goes with his Dad, things that they did, kind of a diary/journal of sorts, my written words on paper will hold up in court, therefore giving me a legal document and my word against just his word, So step away from the wanting to be evil, it may get you what you want, but at whose expense, your childs, yourself or both. You obviously are not wired to be evil or you wouldn't be asking this question.

Quivver -> RE: Submissive versus Tough (10/19/2006 6:06:44 PM)
Fast Reply . . . Mean or Evil isnt the answer, even if you could draw it out of yourself. What is best for the child is paramount. It's a tough road you've gotta travel, either way it wont be an easy trip. My suggestion is to find strength within, hold your head up and dont take any chit. But when you know your right it will benifit you most if you address it with an honorable manner with class. Good Luck............

babysburnin -> RE: Submissive versus Tough (10/30/2006 7:13:42 PM)
Thanks to all for your thoughts and advice. The truth is - I am strong, I am fair, and I am truthful. I've always been that way, and I don't plan on corrupting myself now (in that manner [;)]). Unfortunately, the "system" listens more to the "squeeky wheel", which I am not. I have a great attorney that I pay to do that. RedSavageSlave: You didn't have to read or reply to my post - sure seems like you made good use of it though.

RedSavageSlave -> RE: Submissive versus Tough (10/31/2006 5:14:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: babysburnin RedSavageSlave: You didn't have to read or reply to my post - sure seems like you made good use of it though. As a member, that is my right.. but I do hope all goes well for you.

onlythewindknows -> RE: Submissive versus Tough (10/31/2006 5:58:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eruditegirl1 I did and still keep a diary of times my son goes with his Dad, things that they did, kind of a diary/journal of sorts, my written words on paper will hold up in court, therefore giving me a legal document and my word against just his word, eruditegirl1 is absolutely right. yknow, the legal process is slow and tedious and operates on verifiable documents not aggressive behavior. write as much as you can, It is both empowering and cathartic. you also may find that the focus writing requires allows you to remain close to your true submissive self. best of luck.

kisshou -> RE: Submissive versus Tough (10/31/2006 5:58:07 AM)
It took two people to create the one child. The child will view himself as half mom and half dad. So whenever you say or project a negative attitude about his Dad he will internalize it as against half of himself. Just keep that in mind however you choose to proceed.

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