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slavedesires -> RE: introductions, desires, limits, personal ads (1/28/2005 4:35:12 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: domtimothy46176
I like to start by getting to know what a girl's beliefs are on the basics, like submission, domination, honor, honesty, poly, lifestyle, etc.
I find that establishing a good dialogue at the beginning on what one's personal views and opinion are is a great way to get to know the underlying person as well as to get a feel for compatibility. How one comports themselves in such a discussion can give a lot of insight into how that person treats others in general. I find i pay a lot of attention to not only what is discussed but also how it is discussed.
One who is open to discussing various viewpoints without belittling opposing ideas is apt to be tolerant in other areas. Respectful disagreement while discussing an idea on its merits is a a sign of a reasonable intellect and a sign of someone who is comfortable in their beliefs. Someone who demands others adopt their philosphies without question or is unreasonably defensive when their beliefs are questioned, attacking the questioner rather than offering support of their position, are probably insecure in either their convictions or their ability to express themselves.
I have found them to be indicative of underlying trends and therefore useful to me in determining what types of people I enjoy interacting with in R/T. This may, of course, be colored by my own preference for articulate, intelligent women with well-formed opinions and a predilection for stimulating debate.
As always, I think it best to first be certain in who and what you are and what you seek. From that foundation you can find what methods work best for you in sorting through the multitude of online personalities.
Timothy
I so enjoy reading your posts Sir.
Exactly!
And does this type of dialogue have to take 2 days, 5 weeks, 3 months to be accomplished?
If one knows themselves well enough, have counted the cost and know what they are willing to give up or not give up (i suppose many consider this limits), what they will pursue and not pursue, speak to the point while communicating (articulate) then the journey of a 1000 miles begins with one small step (i call it risk) but if that small step is debated and redebated, then do they really know themselves or their desires, or their wants and needs and well... one must question, the desire to pursue.
I spoke with one Dom from Chicago for months, every evening for several hours. After about 2 1/2 months it got so boring for me, i told him so and asked what was the purpose of the continued banter. Another Dom i chatted with for 7 months and made it clear i was done talking and i felt it was time to met or it would be evident i had only grown from the knowledge and time well spent, but i had to move on.
i didn't want to know about there favorite cologne, the way they tied their shoes, which sort of movie they preferred ...the core of the human being is what must be known, and like Timothy has just said, some simple technigues (well simple if you have understandings of people) can bring that out. Just like subs/slaves "waste time" with unrelated vanilla things, so do Doms and it is deferred to as caution and SSC, etc. I AM NOT NEGATING THE VALUE OF THIS for it is!
It just seems to me that with personal ads on the Net, yes knowing some are not who they really say they are, one would not "play these games" if they met someone at a munch and or at any lifestyle function.
i have an example, for 18 months a particular yahoo board heard of the "relationship" from a subbies perspective in regards to the progress of thier emailing and online and phone chatter. Finally, with much fanfare (believe me it was drama, like a soap opera), these 2 met and spent a week or so together. Nope. No go. Now the subbie rarely posts anymore and the Dom is gone completely (or maybe changed his nic).
no, i think i like my original.... LOLOL "go fo the jugular!" [sm=tongue.gif]
Master Damian's shy
yes, just my opinions at 6 am... and i am a weird duck too (oops i before e except after c...!) remember when you could say "queer duck" and no one looked at you twice?
have a focus filled day everyone!! [:)]
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