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RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/13/2005 2:01:42 PM

feline

Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ehlovindom

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

As BlkTallFullfig stated, it Men are lazy.

No men aren't lazy, only SOME men are! Just as some women are. If I had a collared slave, my profile would be updated quickly. It doesn't make sense to me to proclaim the community that you are available when you aren't, unless of course you are looking to trade up. If that is the case, maybe you need to start looking as well.

HALLELUJAH!!!

If you presently have someone or are considering someone I think you should state so on your profile. I would think it would be a matter of pride.

If you don't respect that person enough to do so WHY should that person respect you? Or trust you for that matter? Trust is an EARNED thing.

It takes about as much effort and time to make a simple change on your profile as it does to post here. Laziness is not an excuse. And if it is, the person who uses it isn't someone I want to know.

Take care,

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

(in reply to ehlovindom)

Post #: 21

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/13/2005 3:47:03 PM

jillwfsub4blkdom

Posts: 375
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline

Well said feline. i feel like if a Master doesn't change his profile then he is certainly still looking around. i don't think in this case that is about a submissive's lack of trust. What does the Master's profile give as an outward appearance to others?

jill

_____________________________

"It's the moment that transcends
Our physical into a more spiritual level of understanding" - Musiq

(in reply to feline)

Post #: 22

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/14/2005 11:20:55 AM

DeadofKnight

Posts: 29
Joined: 10/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruffnecksbabygir

Question: this is in general, just curious...

Do Masters feel they should change their profile information, as a slave does when she is in a relationship, or rather, after she meets someone and she "updates" her profile so others will know she is no longer looking....what about a Master that doesn't change his profile, eventhough He has collared a slave and is seemingly happy with His slave.

I can only give you my take on this.

It is my opinion that each do as they see fit.

With that out of the way, I did change my profile when I met the girl I am currently involved with. It was my choice to do so. It was my desire to also. I didn't want to continually have to tell others in emails that I was "considering" someone. I wanted it to be known because I wanted to explore that possibility without interruption, without drawing my focus from her. I keep my integrity and her trust by being honest and open about everything and by not avoiding or misleading her in what it is that I want. No question goes unanswered from each of us.

It only take a few minutes to add a note at the top of your profile and only a few hours before it is updated. And, if it doesn't work out, the same or less time to return it back to its earlier state.
Further about my feelings on the matter... once this girl is collared to me, and me to her, in whatever we decide it is for us, then I will add her name for all to see. Any relationship in it's beginning has its uncertainties and reservations.

I do feel the OP has every right to ask her Master about his intentions and where he is wanting to go within their relationship. This includes the possibility of a poly relationship. In my opinion we are human beings first and lifestyle choice after that. If I were to ask mine the same question I would expect an honest answer and not one that was misleading. If it were to be misleading, not totally up front and without hesitation, it would send up red flags for me. There are times when we need some time to collect our thoughts and formulate what these things mean to each of us.
In fact, we've had a discussion on this very subject today because of this thread. So, to us, it has been helpful that the OP opened discussion on this topic. We have cleared up some of our thoughts and feelings on this very matter. It may come up again.

I make an effort to keep an open mind all the time and these forums help me to grow.

Thank you ruffnecksbabygir for posting this topic.

Thank you all for each of your responses as well.

_____________________________

Knight

These are my views and my opinions. Please treat them as such.
If you'd like to ask a question of my posts, mail me here on Collarme.
Mutually collared with hesterprynne

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 23

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/23/2005 9:26:05 AM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

UPDATE

Hello again! Master and i are getting married and He has deleted His profile from Collarme....His search is over and He has proven that to me in many ways not just by removing His profile...thank you all for your replies to my original question!

< Message edited by ruffnecksbabygir -- 2/23/2005 9:27:10 AM >

_____________________________

~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

(in reply to Moleculor)

Post #: 24

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/23/2005 10:04:46 AM

songbird26

Posts: 72
Joined: 1/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruffnecksbabygir

yes, i did have some trust issues, but that stage of the relationship is over...we are both past that, it isn't about me trusting him or not..... and i am not asking the same question in a different manner....like i said, everything in the relationship is just fine.... you know what, never mind my question, i realize now i definately shouldn't pay attention to that since i know where i stand with him and i am very sure of our relationship...so, thanks for your replies, i appreciate it, but i don't need any more advice on this issue...it's silly of me to worry about something so small.

Not a master, but whoa, I heard the theme song to The Stepford Wives start up somewhere in the back of my mind, and it creeped me right the hell out.

You get answers to the question and you don't like what they say, so all of a sudden it's "oh no, never mind, everything's fine, silly me, ha ha ha ha!" *nervous glances all around*? While it may or may not be silly to worry about updating/changing a profile (I'm with TallDarkandWitty, here, since I'm lazy as sin and don't even look at my own profile, much less rewrite it), it clearly DID bother you enough to bring it up here, and "not paying attention to it" won't make it go away.

I'm guessing that it was probably an oversight, but that if you brought it up in a defensive or demanding or disrespectful way, that it blew up into a battle of wills that he, as a dominant, just can't back down from. *shrug* But that's just my guess. Maybe practice your approach to bringing up things that worry or concern you, so that he doesn't feel that he's being challenged, or that you're returning to those trust issues (that are gone now, of course).

ETA: Oh, for heaven's sake. Never mind, then.

< Message edited by songbird26 -- 2/23/2005 10:11:26 AM >

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 25

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/23/2005 10:37:07 AM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

ORIGINAL: songbird26

You get answers to the question and you don't like what they say, so all of a sudden it's "oh no, never mind, everything's fine, silly me, ha ha ha ha!" *nervous glances all around*? While it may or may not be silly to worry about updating/changing a profile (I'm with TallDarkandWitty, here, since I'm lazy as sin and don't even look at my own profile, much less rewrite it), it clearly DID bother you enough to bring it up here, and "not paying attention to it" won't make it go away.

i can see how it might seem that way to you, or others reading that post i wrote in response to all the other posts telling me in their own way that my Master was playing me..... after i read some of the comments on this thread it made me realize that i was being ridiculous about the whole thing, that the fact Master had not changed the profile did bother me as i had originally stated but it wasn't such a big deal as i had made it and reading the replies here made me realize that Master had and still does proven to me His devotion and loyalty to me so the whole profile issue was irrevelant after all....as i stated in the post right above yours, He has since deleted it....the begining of our relationship was very rocky and we had major ups and downs, we have come to a point now where we completely understand eachother and are both secure and confident in our relationship....i trust Him and i do not let minor things come between the man i adore and myself...if this makes me a stepford wife, than by ALL means, i AM a stepford wife and damn proud of it..

_____________________________

~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

(in reply to songbird26)

Post #: 26

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/23/2005 10:52:56 AM

songbird26

Posts: 72
Joined: 1/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruffnecksbabygir

i can see how it might seem that way to you, or others reading that post i wrote in response to all the other posts telling me in their own way that my Master was playing me..... after i read some of the comments on this thread it made me realize that i was being ridiculous about the whole thing, that the fact Master had not changed the profile did bother me as i had originally stated but it wasn't such a big deal as i had made it and reading the replies here made me realize that Master had and still does proven to me His devotion and loyalty to me so the whole profile issue was irrevelant after all...]

Congratulations and best of luck to you, then! :)

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 27

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/23/2005 12:36:22 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

Hello again! Master and i are getting married and He has deleted His profile

Congratulations!! That is great news!

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 28

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/23/2005 12:39:05 PM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

thank you both!

_____________________________

~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 29

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/23/2005 4:49:25 PM

smiles

Posts: 8
Joined: 6/3/2004
Status: offline

Mark removed his profile here from day one of our relationship. He didn't mention marriage to me until approximately 2 months later though.....

I wish you well....

< Message edited by smiles -- 2/23/2005 5:26:18 PM >

(in reply to songbird26)

Post #: 30

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/23/2005 4:58:00 PM

smiles

Posts: 8
Joined: 6/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruffnecksbabygir

UPDATE

Hello again! Master and i are getting married and He has deleted His profile from Collarme....!

I guess he just forgot to change or remove his profile at that other site then???

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 31

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/23/2005 5:48:47 PM

Gideon147

Posts: 25
Joined: 1/7/2005
Status: offline

I am very happy with the relationship My submissive and I share. I didn't come to this site to post a profile and go fishing for subs. I specifically stated in My profile that I am not looking for another submissive. I put that in to make it clear. I only have a profile for the sole purpose of letting those here at this site have a decent idea of who I am.

But still I get requests, and to each of them I respond with something like "I'd be happy to discuss the lifestyle with you, I'd be very interested in intelligent conversation regarding the lifestyle, or just general chat. But I already have a submissive, and I'm not currently looking."

As far as your problem I think of it as something similar to this: Let's say I have profiles all over the internet. If I meet someone real-time, or even virtual-time, odds are it won't even occur to Me to remove or even change a single one. Not because I'm still looking, but the thought may never cross My mind. Men are not as simple a creature as we're made out to be. But on the whole we definately find it difficult bordering impossible to think along the same lines as women.

And to bear into a stereo-type, I thought a woman would be a little more subtle about making that point of changing His profile. Saying something like "Oh, I see ThisDomLooking has changed His profile since He found a sub. i think that's just so wonderful! it really shows how proud He is." *chuckle*

Gideon

(in reply to Moleculor)

Post #: 32

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/23/2005 5:55:46 PM

Gideon147

Posts: 25
Joined: 1/7/2005
Status: offline

oooooh neat-o, there's a page 2

sorry Ffolks *L*

I'm reminded of a Rodney Carrington joke along similar lines "Well, here ya go honey. It's a bag of guilt."

(in reply to Gideon147)

Post #: 33

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/24/2005 4:55:45 AM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

smiles

are you rubykitty?

_____________________________

~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

(in reply to Gideon147)

Post #: 34

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/24/2005 5:29:34 AM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

Mark removed his profile here from day one of our relationship. He didn't mention marriage to me until approximately 2 months later though.....

I wish you well....

Thanks for the well wishes.....you removed your profile so i guess you won't be reading this...anyhow, incase you decide to return...i am aware Master had many relationships before me...it took us both much searching and failed relationships before we could find eachother and move forward together... i am glad we both went through a lot of people before we found eachother, it makes up appreciate eachother more so...we have no doubts we are perfect for eachother because we have experienced what is out there, and knew exactly what we wanted and didn't want by the time we met.

_____________________________

~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 35

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/24/2005 8:17:05 AM

smiles

Posts: 8
Joined: 6/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruffnecksbabygir

Mark removed his profile here from day one of our relationship. He didn't mention marriage to me until approximately 2 months later though.....

I wish you well....

Thanks for the well wishes.....you removed your profile so i guess you won't be reading this...anyhow, incase you decide to return...i am aware Master had many relationships before me...it took us both much searching and failed relationships before we could find eachother and move forward together... i am glad we both went through a lot of people before we found eachother, it makes up appreciate eachother more so...we have no doubts we are perfect for eachother because we have experienced what is out there, and knew exactly what we wanted and didn't want by the time we met.

Ruffnecksbabygirl,
I am owned and not seeking so I disabled my profile. One can still sign in and use all the services collarme offers, (message boards, e-mail, etc....), with a disabled profile.

No, I am not rubykitty...

You seem like a wonderful person RN'sbabygirl. Very intelligent, creative, articulate, honest, compassionate, obedient with a a warm slave heart just as I am....

You have been in my prayers for some time and will continue to be....

< Message edited by smiles -- 2/24/2005 2:50:30 PM >

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 36

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/24/2005 8:20:34 AM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

.

< Message edited by ruffnecksbabygir -- 2/24/2005 8:53:26 AM >

_____________________________

~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

(in reply to smiles)

Post #: 37

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/24/2005 2:55:45 PM

smiles

Posts: 8
Joined: 6/3/2004
Status: offline

I do so wish you both well...
...smiles

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 38

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/24/2005 3:51:46 PM

MasterHarperinTX

Posts: 4
Joined: 2/23/2005
Status: offline

I agree with Cyris75, bottom line is being honest with the relationship that you're in. If you're not still looking, then why would you want to have an ad stating that you were? What is your new sub/slave supposed to think if you're not acknowledged the new relationship? T'would appear to me that you're more of a player, and who really wants to be played?

(in reply to Cyis75)

Post #: 39

RE: Should profile be changed? - 2/24/2005 4:53:48 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

Or- OTOH, one might not be quite prepared to consider themselves 'found'- it might be a bit early for thatr- or one might simply be waiting-and waiting- and waiting- for their journal to be approved...

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to MasterHarperinTX)

Post #: 40

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