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RE: What do you think? - 10/20/2006 11:41:02 AM

RedSavageSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

I made my mother spew Chardonnay out her nose in a fine restaurant once.

Was probably wrong, but I still laugh about it.

Sinergy

It is never wrong to take the oportunity to make your mother spew and then laugh about it afterwards..

<manual of life page 263>

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RE: What do you think? - 10/20/2006 11:41:52 AM

sweetnurseBBW

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There will always be people vanilla or lifestyle that are opinionated. Yes, some are very judgemental, rude and berate someone when their opinion differs from their own. This is no different than the everyday vanilla world. I just ignore those that constantly berate others and personally do not care what their opinion of me is. I live my life for me not them.

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RE: What do you think? - 10/20/2006 11:44:09 AM

RedSavageSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

. Also a more asshole free place.

now where would we be without anal? huh??

<muttering about people who wanna take away my goodtimes>

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RE: What do you think? - 10/20/2006 11:48:28 AM

DivaExMachina

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

My favorite examples of the direction society seems to be heading are found in the books:

Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

Because people learn at an early age that instant gratification is the way to go, they become completely self-involved and unable to fathom higher concepts.

The Handmaid's Tale - I dont remember who wrote this.

Margaret Atwood. But don't you think Brave New World and the Handmaid's Tale are completely opposite dystopias? And then 1984 is utterly different again from either of those. They couldn't all possibly happen in the same place at the same time. Care to elaborate? Or are you just a pessimist? :)

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RE: What do you think? - 10/20/2006 11:54:36 AM

popeye1250

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tenebrious

Am I the only one that thinks that a lot of people involved with this lifestyle are too uptight and judgmental?

I couldn't count the number of times that I've witnessed somebody getting irate because of a little harmless humor or arguing to death the specific meanings of ambiguous terms. In my experience, people often tend to jump to insane conclusions about almost anything, will hold a lifelong grudge against somebody for simply disagreeing with them and have no problem vocalizing their dislike for others to great lengths.

I've witnessed people being told that they don't have any understanding of or real experience with anything related to BDSM, because of their personal views, the wording they use, something they say in jest or over a simple misunderstanding. I've also seen people berated as a person, just because of something as simple as their role preference or interest in a particular type of scene.

Is this lifestyle really that full of uptight, judgmental people who don't realize that we already get more than enough of that crap from people who don't identify, or do I have the wrong impression? I thought being kinky was supposed to make things more fun, but sometimes it seems like it just provides a new invitation for all of the negative drama that's present everywhere else.

I think that if we as a group ever expect to stop being judged so harshly by others we are going to have to display a little more acceptance of each other first.

By the way, I totally expect to be chewed out at least a few times for this post, but I think it needed to be said.

I agree!
It seems that "Political Correctness" has reared it's ugly head up even in WIIWD.
I have a very off-beat sense of humor and some up-tight people just don't get it.
Then we have the people that think that if you don't do things "their way" you're not really "legitimate."

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RE: What do you think? - 10/20/2006 11:59:17 AM

Sinergy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DivaExMachina

Margaret Atwood. But don't you think Brave New World and the Handmaid's Tale are completely opposite dystopias? And then 1984 is utterly different again from either of those. They couldn't all possibly happen in the same place at the same time. Care to elaborate? Or are you just a pessimist? :)

They are and they are not opposite utopias, I was thinking more of an apples and oranges sort of thing.

Modern society seems predicated on production of increasingly complex and expensive items to be used to fill in the otherwise empty spaces in an individual's life. Throw in with that the medicating of emotional states by both Rx and non-Rx methods being something a large number of people do, and a lot of drug companies want people to do. Add in a weird sort of Bread and Circuses mentality that is propatated from above. I end up thinking that Aldous Huxley was somewhat on target. Although Aldous Huxley did not propose that women were treated any greater or any less than men in his book.

The Handmaid's Tale talks about how women lose all vestige of personal control over her destiny at the hands of sexist extremists who want to keep her small and without power in society. From what I remember of the book, the Taliban in Afghanistan seems to be right on target with what Margaret Atwood was warning of in her dystopian vision.

1984 was about a government that had lost all self-image that they were doing things for the greater good of the people they "served" and existed entirely with the idea in mind of staying in power. When I view Monkeyboy and his ilk, read about election practices, see the way he tries to create alleged border conflicts which people know are going on but are insulated from them, it starts to make me think H. G. Wells was not that far off either.

Clear as mud?

Sinergy

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Post #: 46

RE: What do you think? - 10/20/2006 12:18:37 PM

DivaExMachina

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Hi Sinergy,

You had me confused for a minute about HG Wells, until I re-read your original post. 1984 was written by George Orwell.

Of course all of those books echo aspects of culture, because the authors were writing about cultural trends which concerned them at the time. The point I was trying to make was that it is not possible, for instance, to have the kind of atheistic, happy, drug-fuelled, production-line society that Huxley wrote about co-existing at the same time in the same place as Atwood's Theocratic, misogynistic, oppressive state. They are mutually exclusive. That was the point I was trying to make. Tenebrious was speaking about America and hence I thought when you said 'society' you were also.

I think Huxley's version is more likely to come true, at least in English speaking countries.

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RE: What do you think? - 10/20/2006 12:30:01 PM

agirl

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I thought Tenebrious was speaking about the forum, or attitudes in general, not America.

agirl

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RE: What do you think? - 10/20/2006 12:33:34 PM

amayos

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tenebrious

Am I the only one that thinks that a lot of people involved with this lifestyle are too uptight and judgmental?

I think that if we as a group ever expect to stop being judged so harshly by others we are going to have to display a little more acceptance of each other first.

Indeed, there is a great deal of judgment and moralist rhetoric diffused within the "BDSM community." There are so many quaint mantras and watch words afoot, and plenty of souls who live by and regurgitate these "laws" as if they are the tenets of a new religion.

Do not seek acceptance from anyone. Do what propels you, and take accountability for your actions.

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RE: What do you think? - 10/20/2006 12:35:50 PM

DivaExMachina

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Hi agirl. I was referring to the post Sinergy replied to, in which Tenebrious said 'With the direction civil liberties are currently headed in this country...'. I assumed he was referring to his own country.

Tenebrious, I think I have hijacked your thread and I apologise for it. I won't make any more comments here which aren't on topic.

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RE: What do you think? - 10/20/2006 1:21:04 PM

agirl

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Heyo DivaExMachina,

quote:

ORIGINAL: DivaExMachina

Hi agirl. I was referring to the post Sinergy replied to, in which Tenebrious said 'With the direction civil liberties are currently headed in this country...'. I assumed he was referring to his own country.

Tenebrious, I think I have hijacked your thread and I apologise for it. I won't make any more comments here which aren't on topic.

I see that now ....... *slaps self*.....I am guilty of assuming people are speaking *universally* often, as I'm in the UK. Sowwy..lol

agirl

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RE: What do you think? - 10/20/2006 4:09:46 PM

WhipTheHip

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tenebrious
Am I the only one that thinks that a lot of people involved with this lifestyle are too uptight and judgmental?

Yup. I couldn't agree with you more.

Cheers,
Michael

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RE: What do you think? - 10/20/2006 4:23:06 PM

Tenebrious

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I was, in fact, refering to my own country (USA). Sorry I didn't make it more clear before. I must have been caught up in the moment. :)

In any case, For those of you that have not thrown your hands up in disgust and vowed never to return to this thread, I will now attempt to demonstrate my original point:

I started this thread earlier today, with the intention of discussing what I knew would be a controversial issue with a group of people, some of which I knew would strongly disagree with me. For the most part things remained relatively intellectual and lacked personal attacks and use of the words stupid, ignorant and crazy. There was some temporary hijacking (which is not something I can get upset about without being a total hypocrite) and joking around, which seemed pretty well recieved. People also seemed to be genuinely interested in debating the issues that were presented.

There were some pretty well defined differences of opinion here, but where's all the serious hostility that I mentioned in the original post and was described by numerous other posters as unavoidable?

Doesn't it seem possible that it's not neccessary to resort to such means to get a point across? If we can be relatively civil about this stuff, why can't we be civil more often about what the word "slave" means, or a person's grammar and punctuation - or lack thereof?

I'm not really hoping for a response to these questions. I just wanted to point out that it might not be so unreasonable to expect that we all can get along after all, even if we disagree sometimes. :)

Cheers,
Freak

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RE: What do you think? - 10/20/2006 6:37:53 PM

Daddysredhead

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tenebrious

Am I the only one that thinks that a lot of people involved with this lifestyle are too uptight and judgmental?

I haven't read all the other posts, but I think that there are a lot of people (in general) who are uptight and judgmental, and that just flows over into this, and any other lifestyle or group of people.

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