Anal shy

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SlaveAkasha -> Anal shy (10/20/2006 9:43:45 PM)
I have always had a bit of fear about anal sex. I have had it a total of four times now, and only one of them was I able to find real pleasure in. The last time that Master and I were together, I had a bad experience..not being anyones fault, just being one of those things that happen. I had a decent amount of pain, and some blood for a bit. I now find myself having a fear of doing it again, and I am not sure how to get over it. We used anal ese.. which I like, but it still didn't seem to help much with the pain and not having tearing at all. Have you ever had this happen, where there is something you try..but it hurts, then you are scared to do it again? How did you get yourself past the mental block about it? This is something I want to do, and want to enjoy again so much. I just have to figure out how to get past the fear of the pain again. Akasha

HoneyBaby -> RE: Anal shy (10/20/2006 9:50:41 PM)
In my experience (not necessarily anal, but including it, too), if anything caused significant discomfort or obvious injury of any degree other than the accepted marks, my master would not do it again unless we could find a way to avoid the problems. If it is indeed something you want to be able to do, perhaps beginning with small butt plugs (gad that sounds so gross! they need to come up with a better name for them) and slowly working your way up in size might help. Sometimes, though, you're stuck with what you've got and nothing is going to change it. Hope it works out for you. :)

eruditegirl1 -> RE: Anal shy (10/20/2006 10:10:21 PM)
I am so glad you posted this....I have never experienced this...and I am curious too...so I will eargerly await the posts... Thanks for posting it

CrappyDom -> RE: Anal shy (10/20/2006 10:23:17 PM)
As a great lover of anal sex (and looking forward to anally raping someone soon) let me make a few suggestions. Don't go for anal rape on the first night. Learn to love it first, learn to crave it. Here is my secret recipe. When going down on a woman and when she begins to lose control I start playing with her anus, not so much penetration as stimulation. I start and stop the oral play so that the awareness of the anal play fades in and out but at all times strictly associated with pleasure. Same game plan with penetration, when my victim is delirious with pleasure I start doing some gentle penetration. At this point most times when they come I want some form of light anal play going on. I want her to associate anal play with pleasure. This also helps alleviate all the bullshit guilt/dirty/bad/disgusting/rejections crap going on in their mind and they also associate my lust with their ass.' The above isn't a one night deal, at this point I would set aside talk of full penetration, just forget it for now. Focus on pleasure instead. If I was in his position I would tell you we wouldn't go farther until you were ready to beg for more. Then I would make DAMN sure you wanted to start begging after a month or two. At some point all this work gets boring and I want my cock buried up to the hilt, but sadly, even that takes more time cause I am not small. So again, play with dildos might commence but again the focus is primarily on other pleasure centers. Okay, here is the other big trick, the whole "use a buttplug to loosen up the ass" thing is a BS myth. I know the one true way to anal pleasure. The reason it is a myth is the anus is mostly controlled consciously and if the victim is scared, going in the wrong way is going to hurt, even with a tiny buttplug or even your finger. What people do to "help" is they clench their muscles but that actually tightens them. The move that opens and relaxes the anus is to push, as gross as this sounds, like you are trying to defecate. THAT is the movement (no pun intended) that relaxes those muscles and allows penetration. However, if that isn't firmly tied to pleasure, you are going to stop relaxing and it will hurt. Again, at this point the sooner you slow down the faster you will be ready to offer your ass, rush it and you will end up in the hospital.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Anal shy (10/20/2006 10:25:56 PM)
FOr me, I always need to stop after the first push, pull out and then start again. Once my body has adjusted to that first push, it's awesome. But if I don't let my body get used to it, the rest is pure torture with much tearing and blood. You could try positions and timing which allow you to push your own body into the toy or cock. It can be a lot better to build up to and get over the problem.

diamonddreamlove -> RE: Anal shy (10/21/2006 12:34:50 AM)
Lube and more Lube also helps. Love it but if not properly prepared for it, it will be a turnoff instead of the intended turn on.

MasterNdorei -> RE: Anal shy (10/21/2006 12:56:47 AM)
Couple it with a vibe or egg on your clit as a distraction. It is almost always uncomfortable for me at first, but it does get easier after a bit. Master's dorei

Mavis -> RE: Anal shy (10/21/2006 1:18:28 AM)
ok, i'll prolly get shot for advocating this, but it's not deadly, it's honest, and it works for me! 4 Beers. All for you. None for Him.

LadySeraphina -> RE: Anal shy (10/21/2006 1:27:15 AM)
I have never enjoyed anal play for myself, but I do it all the time on my boys. The mental aspect is huge, but so is being prepared, each and every time. I use Elbow Grease, which is silicone-based, but that also means I have to use non-latex gloves and condoms on my toys. The bonus of Elbow Grease is that it can't be absorbed into your body, so you stay lubricated. No matter how well-trained the boy's ass is, I always do some manual stimulation, which gets him relaxed and adjusted to a presence in his anus. Then I insert the dong or plug, but do it slowly, and let them adjust again before there is much movement. Another thing that can help is a nice warm enema. It relaxes your muscles. It also means that you know you're cleaned out, so when you 'push' to open up you won't be worried about scat. Just my two cents, I hope things work out for you, Akasha.

kisshou -> RE: Anal shy (10/21/2006 2:43:59 AM)
something no one has seemed to touch on and just a word of advice be really careful about fingers or plugs or a penis travelling from anus back to vagina. You will end up with a raging infection. I consider this a more high risk area of play even though alot of others might not.

sublacky -> RE: Anal shy (10/21/2006 6:42:58 AM)
Definitely use lubrication! If it's painful, try starting with something small; like a thin vibarator about the size of a finger, work up from there until you sphincter is relaxed enough for penetration. Also, consider not everyone is built for this kind of thing. my .02 cents

swtsouthernsub -> RE: Anal shy (10/21/2006 9:19:46 AM)
Lube and plenty of it as well as stimulation helps relax the muscles I've not ever had to just remove it but hold it there briefly try and relax, catch my breath slowly ease onto it has always seem to help me after its in there fully take a deep breath relax position yourself more comfortably if need be dont force it by any means . I think one has to totally trust the individual for you to better relax and let them know you want this as much as they do but to let you ease onto wiggle a little instead of him pushing best luck to you (IMO) It's one of my greatest orgasm experiences

agirl -> RE: Anal shy (10/21/2006 9:43:37 AM)
Hello Akasha, I felt like you once upon a time and the fear was only overcome by positive experiences with my Master. Everything Crappy said is pretty much the route that was taken with me and the explanation of pushing was also given to me. I also find, as Crappy said, that even something small, such as a finger can hurt a LOT if the circumstances aren't quite right, even if you're very used to anal sex. agirl

Daddysredhead -> RE: Anal shy (10/21/2006 9:52:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrappyDom Learn to love it first, learn to crave it. Here is my secret recipe. When going down on a woman and when she begins to lose control I start playing with her anus, not so much penetration as stimulation. I start and stop the oral play so that the awareness of the anal play fades in and out but at all times strictly associated with pleasure. Same game plan with penetration, when my victim is delirious with pleasure I start doing some gentle penetration. At this point most times when they come I want some form of light anal play going on. I want her to associate anal play with pleasure. This is basically how my Daddy got me ready for anal play years ago. I was so dead set against it, and I never wanted Him to even go near me there. But when you're already feeling hot, bothered, and yummy... you tend to pay less attn. to the specific where it's happening but more of the fact that you are feeling delicious. I also felt more at ease since Daddy didn't rush this. During one of our first open "buddy" talks when we became friends was stuff we'd never do. I said anal sex. He said He understood my reasons (won't get into them here) and respected them. It was much later when we were intimate friends, that He gave me a little sexy kiss down there that made me smile and giggle because I felt ticklish. It later became okay for Him to touch me there. I began to kind of wonder what it would feel like to have some activity going on back there, so we got a big bottle of Slippery Stuff lube. He made sure that I was feeling very "amourous" and then He gently "went there" - I was very relaxed (deep breaths helped), and any time I needed Him to ease up, He did. It was nice, very sexy. Now, He smiles when I wiggle my ass at Him during play and says, "Bet you never thought you'd ever be offering up that ass to anyone, did you?" I've had a couple of anal orgasms, too. Very yummy feeling, but doesn't happen often. Go slow, make it sensual, make it fun, and don't be afraid to keep the back door closed for a while. [;)]

SlaveAkasha -> RE: Anal shy (10/21/2006 12:51:46 PM)
Wow, thank you all for the great advice. I am sure that Master will read this and the responses since he reads all of my posts..[;)] He has agreed to go very slow with me from now on and help me work on my fear of this. He knows I will keep trying because it pleases him so much, but he won't ever push me to do something that really hurts, or that I am so afraid of. I will try some of the techniques you all suggested and see if it helps. I have noticed that I am probably a hundred times harder on myself that Master is. He is more go with the flow, and I am always afraid I won't be good enough for him. Thank you all for the wonderful advice, Akasha

degradess -> RE: Anal shy (10/21/2006 12:59:09 PM)
Curiously, I used to love anal sex, but the last time I tried it, even while aroused it wasn't fun for me at all. I have found that since becoming domme I enjoy giving it rather than recieving. Guess it's a control thing now, I can't let someone have that kind of control anymore. Or perhaps its just something I am not into anymore.

charismagirrl -> RE: Anal shy (10/21/2006 1:04:59 PM)
akasha, Best of luck to you on this endeavor. Try not to let it upset you too much that there was blood. Just because it's there at times doesn't mean it won't be at another time. (sometimes due to "life" you can be more sensitive there or more prone to an issue) All of the advice given has been great (from my experiences) Relax and lots of lube is a great thing. my Daddy began using his fingers for awhile during sex, right before i was about to cum. This really helped me begin looking at anal as a precursor to orgasm. Then he got me a smallish toy (one about 1/2 his size) and another vibrator. i use it to practice until Daddy comes home or i go to be with him. Also, i found spoon position is the easiest for me. Now i find myself craving the next time he "rapes" my ass, even if it does hurt. Lots of luck![:)]

Master2akasha -> RE: Anal shy (10/21/2006 6:54:52 PM)
Hello everyone, first I want to thank everyone for for the advice and good suggestions. I am sure when the timing is right me and my slave will be able to enjoy anal sex just as much as any other type. I do know that it will take time to get her used to it and also to overcome her fears. but I have plenty of time for all that and so much more.

StacyCat -> RE: Anal shy (10/21/2006 8:23:10 PM)
Something not mentioned, DO NOT USE ANAL-ESE. Anything with a deadining agent is not good for you, pain during anal sex is your body's way of telling you that something is wrong. Other than that, all of the sugestions given above are very good. :-)

eruditegirl1 -> RE: Anal shy (10/21/2006 8:54:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrappyDom As a great lover of anal sex (and looking forward to anally raping someone soon) let me make a few suggestions. . lucky girl......

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