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ORIGINAL: Squeakers

I found this post most interesting.   I used to be a big defender of how I conducted my D/s lifestyle.   Early on, I was right in my convictions and defended everything I believed in my heart was the 'right' way to do things.   As time has passed for me, somethings that I once believed to be the 'right' way have changed for me and other things I hold onto.   For me the journey has been forever changing and what was my downfall was not opening my mind and allowing  myself to ponder different ideas. But I no longer defend my personal beliefs because I see D/s sort of like religion or politics.   My beliefs regarding religion and politics are my own and no matter who I talk to someone is going to judge me and say that the way I think is totally off base with their beliefs.  
In the 'vanilla' world, there are very few of my 'vanilla' friends that I discuss my D/s lifestyle with.   The way I see it is this, I more than likely would not discuss with my 'vanilla' friends nor my D/s friends if I preferred sex doggy style or missionary or enjoyed oral sex more than anal or whatever.   For me, somethings are meant to be a bit private and are meant to be shared with only select people   That's not to say that I can not get into a good debate with someone about D/s in general.   But if it gets to a point where it is 'heated', and emotions are beginning to enter that debate, I immediately back off.   The debates, I am speaking about are ones where both people can be adult about it, looking at the other persons ideas and ponder them intelligently and give their own observations.   Debates such as that are a good way to open myself to other ideas.  
   Whether it be in a D/s lifestyle or 'vanilla' lifestyle there is going to be judgement.   Someone may not think it is right that their neighbors have decided to have 8 children.   Another couple maybe judged because they are an interracial couple or that they are gay.   A co-worker may think someone else in the office is a 'bad' parent because he or she doesn't sit down and supervise their teenagers homework nightly.   I doubt that tv reality shows such as "Trading Spouses" or "Wife swap" would be successful without judgement.  
   If you are content in your life and are comfortable in the way you live it, I would just take those comments and pity the person that exposed their narrow minds and verbalized them.   I know a woman who makes some nasty remarks about my interracial relationship in a "joking manner."   Deep down I know she is being one hundred percent serious in her comments, however I also know that her personal life sucks and she has some pretty serious issues going on.   She's miserable and since misery loves company, she wants to toss a bit of negativity into my life.   Maybe it makes her feel better and I don't get all bent about it, she has so little in her life, if those nasty digs and comments to me make her feel better, I can allow her that pleasure.       
I guess what I am trying to say, negativity breeds negativity.   Those comments about D/s can hurt but only if we let them.   If others don't understand it, don't want to understand it, and want to hurl stones then they are just turning a blind eye to a lifestyle that I consider remarkably rewarding let them.   I wouldn't want to encounter them at a play party anyways.   

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ORIGINAL: allspicey
In an area of life that is supposed to encompass a great many people's odd quirks and desires for something different, there seems to be an ongoing and constant need for some people to look down their nose and be derogatory about the way some people choose to express themselves or their life.

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ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

Over the course of my life, I've found that I need to pick and choose my battles wisely.  Expending energy and effort trying to educate someone or change the mind/opinion/judgement of another person is usually pretty darn far down the list of things important enough for me to spend the effort.

I am not always like the weather (thank you Iskander for that bit of wisdom), I can't always ignore critics.  But for the most part I don't give them enough power or control over me to get worked up.  If they need education I try to do so directly, without criticism or blame, state my case and go on about my business.  What they do with the information is on them.

In otherwords allspicey, if you allow the writings of naye-sayers get you all worked up, you are giving them power over you.  Do you really want to do that?  Phhhht! I didn't think so...   They aren't worth a second glance unless they are impinging in your personal space.  Then educate them.  If that doesn't work, toss 'em in the ignore bin and go about your business.

YIK,
- Geoff

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ORIGINAL: allspicey

I don't want someone into that stupid shit like calling me Sir or Master.

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Who are those people who call themselves lifestylers anyway?  No one who was mentally and emotionally healthy would need this all the time.

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Slaves are fucking doormats and need to get a life.

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People who want 24/7 BDSM need to get real. You can't live that way and shouldn't want to.

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You can't really serve coffee on a silver tray, not in the real world.

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Gorean stuff is really stupid.  No one lives that way in the real world.

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If it can't ebb and flow and take life itself into account, there's something a little amiss. It seems so bloody unnecessarily dramatic at times.

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If it isn't fun, you shouldn't be doing it.